Too drunk?

Hey, everyone! Many of you know we’ve been looking for our first real experience swinging. On a recent cruise, we had a very cute lady come up to us at a bar onboard, and she was really friendly and complimentary towards me, especially, and hubby. Hubs even whispered to me that she was looking me up and down pretty hard. It became apparent a little while later that she was interested in getting with us, but she was REALLY, REALLY drunk, too, and we just didn’t feel right about going further because of this.

Do you think we did the right thing? Our thought was we would feel bad - almost as if we’d taken advantage - if something had happened and she would’ve regretted it afterward. Thoughts?

Hey, everyone! Many of you know we’ve been looking for our first real experience swinging. On a recent cruise, we had a very cute lady come up to us at a bar onboard, and she was really friendly and complimentary towards me, especially, and hubby. Hubs even whispered to me that she was looking me up and down pretty hard. It became apparent a little while later that she was interested in getting with us, but she was REALLY, REALLY drunk, too, and we just didn’t feel right about going further because of this.

 

Do you think we did the right thing? Our thought was we would feel bad - almost as if we’d taken advantage - if something had happened and she would’ve regretted it afterward. Thoughts?

Yes, you did the right thing!

It'd be different if you met while everyone was sober, agreed to have sex, then drank. However, on a legal and practical level, no realistic consent could be given/obtained when someone is completely inebriated.

Going to make enemies on this. If a wanting woman wants to be fucked by a man or woman, fuck her. In her state, she is saying she is available. You even say that she was hitting you up. Was that you or both? Are you asking if someone is drunk that they don't want? Did you follow up later on a cruise with her? Aside from your dilemma:

I will become the bitch of this site...No woman, ever, in my almost 60 yeas of life has ever called her husband "hubby", and in the 13 years we have been swinging, has any woman or man, ever, ever, used the word "Hubby". That is code for what a man living vicariously would say. The only place I have ever seen the word "hubby" is on swinger sites and it is a 100% indicator that it is a false profile. And to be so gentle, if I ever called my husband "hubby" in public with non-swinger friends...I would lose all credibility with my friends, coworkers, and family as a wife. That "Hubby" thing is the short word for fake.

I have a husband and man. When anyone uses the word hubby, I know immediately they are full of shit. Period.

Was this a swingers cruise?

In my opinion ya did the right thing. I was raised around drugs and alcoholics..so I know there are people that get drunk and blackout, they don't know what they are doing, and usually can't remember the hours before they pass out. If I were in the same situation I'd be nice to her, flirt with her, then get her to where she can sleep...Her room, our guest room, what have you. If she is truly interested..she will still be interested the very next day. If its a cruise/hotel situation...Id probably have my guy help me get her in and leave her a note...letting her know a bit of what happened and how she can reach us..let her know you are interested, but wanted to be sure she is. If she's really interested breakfast and laughs about the previous night are a sure bet and breaks the ice. If she doesnt have a clue/doesn't remember anything..you've shown that you are a decent couple that didnt take advantage of her and got her 'home' safe...which most women will appreciate.

Nope, just a regular Carnival cruise.

Thank you. We didn't see her again. It happened with just a couple of days left on the trip, and it was a bigger ship with lots of people. It was exciting, because it would've been our first real swinging experience, but it just didn't feel appropriate under the circumstances.

Times and opinions have certainly changed on a woman’s responsiblities when drinking. When I woke up at frat house in college, saw my date (no BF on one side of me and his room mate on the other side, all of us naked, I thought and remembered the flashbacks and was trying to figure whether there were just 2 or the 3 difference faces I was visualizing. On the walk of shame back to my dorm, I said to myself, I have got to stop drinking so much.

Today, the girl or woman gets drunk, the guy(s) equally or more so, the guy is held responsible, he should have known what he was doing, she aparently not. Seems like it would follow that we girls should be held responsible for DUI either but that seems to be a different set laws. Now, maybe I am biased, have two sons but as I said, I felt exactly the same at 18. We all should be accountable for our own actions. I know, not the popular view of the metoo movement, but I’m a bit older than that movement.

Certainly I know that if I have a bit too much to drink, I’m a bit more nasty, will allow things that I might not allow but sometimes that’s all quite enjoyable. It’s up for me to decide that, no my the guy that is doing it or even my husband. We were at a house party once and, I had been drinking,,,,, Problem is at house parties, couples clubs, we’ll take a bottle of wine which we split evenly most times but at these type of events, he drinks less so as not to affect his performance and I drink more, maybe to improve mine? Anyway, a guy had me on the couch, pinned underneath him totally just “face fucking” me. My husband broke it up, said it was too one side, I was doing too much gaging and gurgling. Later, and again the next day I told him to ever do that unless I ask for help, sometimes a girl enjoys that type of thing. So, am I drunk and being taken advantage of or have I had just enough to drink to release my inner slut once in a while and enjoy doing so?

Times and opinions have certainly changed on a woman’s responsiblities when drinking. When I woke up at frat house in college, saw my date (no BF on one side of me and his room mate on the other side, all of us naked, I thought and remembered the flashbacks and was trying to figure whether there were just 2 or the 3 difference faces I was visualizing. On the walk of shame back to my dorm, I said to myself, I have got to stop drinking so much.

 

Today, the girl or woman gets drunk, the guy(s) equally or more so, the guy is held responsible, he should have known what he was doing, she aparently not. Seems like it would follow that we girls should be held responsible for DUI either but that seems to be a different set laws. Now, maybe I am biased, have two sons but as I said, I felt exactly the same at 18. We all should be accountable for our own actions. I know, not the popular view of the metoo movement, but I’m a bit older than that movement.

 

Certainly I know that if I have a bit too much to drink, I’m a bit more nasty, will allow things that I might not allow but sometimes that’s all quite enjoyable. It’s up for me to decide that, no my the guy that is doing it or even my husband. We were at a house party once and, I had been drinking,,,,, Problem is at house parties, couples clubs, we’ll take a bottle of wine which we split evenly most times but at these type of events, he drinks less so as not to affect his performance and I drink more, maybe to improve mine? Anyway, a guy had me on the couch, pinned underneath him totally just “face fucking” me. My husband broke it up, said it was too one side, I was doing too much gaging and gurgling. Later, and again the next day I told him to ever do that unless I ask for help, sometimes a girl enjoys that type of thing. So, am I drunk and being taken advantage of or have I had just enough to drink to release my inner slut once in a while and enjoy doing so?

Well first off yes women should be accountable for their actions or for willing placing themselves in danger when drinking to excess. what you feel is different than what your husband perceived was happening. To your husband you weren't actively involved enough and it appeared the guy was taking advantage of you. Answer a few questions. 1. Were you able to consent?

2. Were you truly engaged in what was happening? 3. Did you and the guy discuss hooking up prior to your being so drunk?

4. Sounds like you might like it rough or you have a rape fantasy. 5. I would have done the same as your husband. He protected you and your response was never do that again unless you ask for help. You are so wrong. I hope you don't get too drunk that some stranger tries to actually rape you because if you are too drunk to scream or ask for help your husband won't help you now.

That's unfortunate to have happened, I personally prefer to not really drink before sexual endeavors, better luck for a new opportunity also I got your message but I can't reply because I've not been a member enough days but no harm no foul.

That’s ok I forgot about that rule. Thanks for your input here, tho. We’ll be back in touch, if that’s ok...