How long after getting married did you start swinging?

I would like to get feedback from couples that didn’t start swinging until after they were married. How long after you were married did you start swinging and did either of you have a problem with anxiety, since it may have been a while since you were with someone else?

It was the second go around for both of us. My first hubby had died and he and his wife divorced after 20-some years of marriage. We met about 5 years had passed since both events. So, we actually started “swinging” while we were still dating, maybe about 6 months into the relationship. It all began with an MFM.

It was just under two years after we got married that my wife started, with my encouragement. There was no anxiety for either of us because the first couple of guys were men she had fucked before, one even when we were first dating. We started couples swaps, which we both prefer, about six months later.

we got into it twenty years after we married. No problems because we had both had our share of lovers before we wed, and we talked it all out before we pulled the trigger.

It looks like we are about the longest so far. We were 31 years married and finally empty nesters looking to recharge what we had. I (hubby) was a bit more reserved and had the first time jitters but through communication and patience I was able to settle in and enjoy right along with her.

15 or so years. We didn’t know some of our friends were enjoying the fun for a number of years before my wife and I joined them. Unlike many people on here it was my wife that talked me into it.

We were married ten years before launching ourselves into swing. I believe that this gave us a more solid launching platform than any platform we might have had when we were first married.

We'd been married around three years. It was unplanned.

Now my wife and the other husband did have the hots for each other for a couple of years. He and I met when we were going through the police academy together. We cops didn't have much money so we all took turns hosting parties on weekends. It was cheaper than going out clubbing. At every party my wife and he would dance to most slow dances. His wife and I would joke about throwing cold water on them at times.

I left the PD and got into sales and started making good money. One night we had that couple, and another couple, over to watch 'Deep Throat' which I had purchased when it first came out. The other couple left not long after the movie was over.

My wife said she was beat and went to bed first. The other husband stayed a bit longer but then said he was beat too. The other wife wanted to stay and drink and party some more so I agreed to give her a ride home later.

We were talking about how our spouses wanted each other and the other wife told me that she had let her husband fuck another lady before. I said that, if he and my wife wanted to fuck, I'd be OK with it. We went to her house, woke up her husband, and told him. He went to my house and woke my wife and, well, they did the deed. They called and told us and we went back to my house and the four of us continued. That was our start and there were four other couples after them.

It never caused our marriage any problems. My wife got into teaching and decided we should stop. Years later we did dabble a bit more though. I'd still be game if she was but she's just not that interested in sex anymore.

We'd been married around three years. It was unplanned.

 

Now my wife and the other husband did have the hots for each other for a couple of years. He and I met when we were going through the police academy together. We cops didn't have much money so we all took turns hosting parties on weekends. It was cheaper than going out clubbing. At every party my wife and he would dance to most slow dances. His wife and I would joke about throwing cold water on them at times.

 

I left the PD and got into sales and started making good money. One night we had that couple, and another couple, over to watch 'Deep Throat' which I had purchased when it first came out. The other couple left not long after the movie was over.

 

My wife said she was beat and went to bed first. The other husband stayed a bit longer but then said he was beat too. The other wife wanted to stay and drink and party some more so I agreed to give her a ride home later.

 

We were talking about how our spouses wanted each other and the other wife told me that she had let her husband fuck another lady before. I said that, if he and my wife wanted to fuck, I'd be OK with it. We went to her house, woke up her husband, and told him. He went to my house and woke my wife and, well, they did the deed. They called and told us and we went back to my house and the four of us continued. That was our start and there were four other couples after them.

 

It never caused our marriage any problems. My wife got into teaching and decided we should stop. Years later we did dabble a bit more though. I'd still be game if she was but she's just not that interested in sex anymore.

how long have you married?

To shorten a long story I've already related several times, swinging is a part of the reason we got together in the first place.

We've been married for almost 47 years now.

how long have you married?

I forgot to add the quote for the question so I thought I'd reply again.

Cade#, my wife and I have been married for almost 47 years now.

4 years before

We are just dipping our toes in the water. We have been married 32 years.

5 years for us. Before I met my wife, I was for a short time part of a poly triad. That helped set the stage for me mentally. I told my wife about this, and she was ...shocked is too strong of a word, but along the way to getting shocked. She said she'd never consider that, and was amazed I'd even tried. She was very black and white about it; it was never going to happen, even if I did suggest it (which, I hadn't...I was just talking about my past). Occasionally it would come up in conversation as our dating, and later married years went on, but it was never serious and was just reflecting on the past.

Then, five years and a couple of kids into our marriage, she says something like to me one night; "You know, it would be awesome to have two guys massaging me at the same time" (she loves massages). That was the tip of the snow slide that turned into an avalanche, and resulted in us swinging about six months later. I would have bet a million bucks she would never have wanted that, or even begun to consider it. It's amazing. And no, I didn't talk her into it or anything the like...I would never. We came to it together. Now, she loves it.

When we met, it was casual sex/friends-with-benefits at first. We'd been having coffee dates to chat about life and ended up in bed. She had been dating two men on-and-off who were boring her and in a hurry to find another wife, she wanted to try new things after marrying young and divorcing. I was more experienced and enjoying being single, seeing a few women at that time, and she was kind of scandalized by the idea that sex can be just for fun. She was already pretty stressed out that she'd had sex with two men in the same week, and our conversations were kind of an eye-opener for her in some ways. (I remember inviting her to stop by one night after a second date and she was mildly horrified, but she ended up getting a parking ticket at my apartment. She'd tried to fool around in his car in the restaurant parking lot and he couldn't get it up, she ended up driving straight over and spending the whole night.)

Point is, it's not like we went into it with the delusions some vanilla couples have where they pretend nobody else ever happened, and I suspect that was kind of a precursor to being able to move into that without a lot of drama. We had maybe six vanilla years before the subject came up - my idea - then a couple of years of discussing before we went for it. There was definitely some anxiety on her part when the new cock came out, not so much because she'd been monogamous for a long time but more because she'd known him and the woman for a long time and it freaked her out a little. She calmed right down once she got started. I was more anxious beforehand, wondering if it was really going to happen.