One day, it finally happened

So there we were, two days from our next event and I had not a single nerve or doubt about us. Usually I'd have unnerving anxiety, be fearful of him being with someone better or feeling inadequate.. but it had been well over six months since any playing, and tons had happened in our relationship. To my surprise and happiness, I felt nothing but excitement and longing to find a couple we could swap with at our next event. I WANTED to see him with another woman, I wanted him to have fun and I wanted it for myself as well. I wont go into the details of the evening, but we got just that. I wasnt worried prior to the event, I wasnt worried at the event or felt the need to establish myself as his wife in front of others or during our group (us and two other sexy couples) soft swap. Or even once back at the room. It was free flowing, relaxed, sexy and charged. I remember briefly looking over as my husband fucked the other wife from the back and either it was the sight of him that made me shiver in orgasm, or her husband smacking my ass as he fucked me from behind. The next day (despite not having had our "reclamation sex" yet due to small children) and even into yesterday and today, I cant stop thinking about how sexy my husband Is, how much I love him and I even linger longer on our hugs.

It took me quite some time (about 3 years) to really grasp the idea. Not that whole "push through and hope for the best" but really grasp it. There are few things as amazingly sexy and reassuring in this world that you can have whatever little sexy fulfillment your heart desires WITH YOUR SPOUSE without repercussion, punishment or resentment, rather encouragement and praise. AND get to go home with them and bask in the afterglow. When sex is no longer the constraint and "cement" to a relationship, you both reach new heights of love, compassion, compersion, appreciation and respect for not only each other, but for yourself and you begin to realize that when you dont have to hide from that "one person" you can flourish in any situation. Perhaps I'm just now feeling the "honeymoon" effect of the LS but this last event really made it click. Not sure what the reason or rhyme, maybe it was time and experiencing that he still hasn't left me despite swapping. It took time and reassurance and talking even when he and I didnt want too , but here we are, on the other side of the "learning storm". Not entirely because you can always learn something new, but the "societal norm storm" has dissipated and I owe a large part to this board.

To those battling the fight, it may not happen tomorrow, or next week or month or year, but the point in case is that patience, understanding and self reflection are key...oh, and obviously COMMUNICATION, LOVE AND TRUST.

Cheers to the sexy, life changing adventure.

Xoxo