House Party Without Couple Swaps. The Norm?

My wife and I were invited to a house party hosted by friends.

We are used to couple swapping. We meet a couple and we play with the other couple’s spouse. We generally play in the same room and there is often some grabbing of one’s own spouse or some girl-girl activity.

At this party, the men were asking the women to play. The man would play with another wife. His wife would play with another man somewhere else or just hang out and drink or eat.

We do note that practically everyone else knew each other. But we were taken aback by the format. We are comfortable with same room couple swapping. We find it exciting to watch each other and to keep an eye on each other.

Is this party the norm? We left fairly early after we realized that this was not a comfortable format for us.

We have gone to parties where it’s not a one for one swap. Some parties threesomes are big. It hasn’t happened that Mike was alone. If I saw him by himself I would most likely motion for him to join in. I trust him and he trusts me. I know he has gone to a room for fun and so have I.

I trust my wife and she trusts me. I don’t trust her going in a closed room with a person we don’t know without me. Some people are into things we are not, such as slapping, choking, anal. If she is in a room alone with a man we don’t know, that is not a good idea in our judgment.

For us, one of the benefits of a house party is the fact you don't necessarily need to do a one for one swap. You can freely play with those you are attracted to and pass on others. You can play one-on-one or in groups; with your partner or not. And, "no means no" right? If not, you are at the wrong party.

We were at the wrong party for us. But we could see how others would like it. The four way match is elusive at best. However, I have a question. We were the young ones at 60. The women can have sex a lot. I think guys at that age are good for one or two ejaculations a night. Imbalance of power?

If you go to a couples club, it’s more likely to be a swap although that can vary if they have a large playroom. House parties tend to go more towards “orgy” like activity. There may be some simple swaps but more often, I may be enjoying the attention of two men while hubby is with some woman, perhaps the two of them of part of a larger grouping.

Our thinking is somewhat two dimensional. We just found that individual men were asking my wife to play. It was an older crowd (we are 60, a lot in 70s). It was a caveman vibe, like one guy at a time wanted to drags my wife to a bedroom. We seemed to be runner up to the youngest there. As usual, my personally trained wife had a line of admirers.

We like parties as described above By Chocc. Its kind of an all you can eat sex buffet.We tend not to wonder off to different rooms but are ok if it happens. We LOVE when there are limited beds and so each room turns into a little orgy. We attended one a month ago, 8 couples, late 50's to early 60's in an upscale home and we had a blast! 6 of the couples stayed in one room, 2 others were in the other and there was some individual switching off of rooms. In the end, I boinked 2 women, and went down on 3, got my cock sucked by 3 (one to completion). Mrs Doc boinked 5 guys, blew 2 others, got fingered orgasm by one of the women and finally blew the biggest dick in the place till he came on her tits. We left tired, sticky (she was anyway)and very satisfied and had a LOT to talk about the next day by the pool. There is another party in May…we're counting the days.

This was different from one of those parties where someone throws open their house, advertises on SLS and charges admission. Here, we knew several of the couples including the hosts and those we didn't know were known to another of the guest couples. The first time we attended, we were assured that each couple were perfectly safe, had no weird kinks and were comfortable in same room or separate and that they all played well with others. Turned out to be absolutely accurate.

Maybe OP, the group or the group dynamic doesn't fit into your comfort level. Mrs Doc says "If I want a one on one swap, we'll meet a couple from SLS or SDC for drinks and go from there. At a party I like a pile of bodies and a smorgasbord of playmates to choose from." Damn!! I LOVE that woman!!!!

We did not see the orgy vibe at our party, it was more a succession of individual guys asking my wife to play with them. If we were both invited to a multi-person activity, it would be more likely that we would go.

Now you seem to make it sound like less of a couples event and more like you, your wife and other guys. Obviously that would be an entirely different thing, and something you and your wife should have been told upfront and something you should have noticed shortly after walking in the door. Now, personally, I don’t mind a party where there are several couples but a few extra singles as well. From a woman’s standpoint, that can be very nice. I mean, we are better equipped to handle multiple instances. Also, any time you go to a house party and it’s kind of an existing group of regulars, and you’re the newbies, your wife is going to get more attention than the other ladies; that, too, can be fun but it can also get over done, almost approach GB status if allowed to.

Also, the bedroom doors were closed . My wife is not going in a closed room with one guy she never met before. The host, who we know, told my wife he vetted everyone. My wife said she didn’t vet anyone. As stated, we and another couple were the only ones who did not know each other. Could’ve been different if we knew each other. These guys were begging my wife to play. We found it odd.

Every party has a slightly different vibe. You went to this one, presumably your first, and you didn't care for what was happening. So you left, the correct decision for you in this situation. Be proud of yourselves.

I suggest you try to find a different house party, give that a try, see if that's better for you.

When my wife and I went to a party, our 'typical' mode was that we'd find a couple to play with in a foursome, then if we were in the mood, play in whatever configuration appealed to us that evening. Often the wife would wander off with men while I stayed and chatted in the common room or walked around and observed. That worked for us, might not work for others.

The LifeStyle is about enjoying yourself. If you're not doing that, go do something else.

I've been to some house parties like the one you described. Most house parties I've been to are more of an orgy atmosphere with one common play room for everyone.

We have been to house parties before. The open playroom is the norm. I also like adamgunn’s approach where they swap with a couple first, then go onto other situations.

I consider myself to be pleasant looking, but I am laid back, not aggressive or predatory. So I am not on the prowl to pick off another guy’s wife/partner so that I can play and leave out my wife and the other husband.

That party was not our cup of tea, so we politely folded our tent and left.

"That party was not our cup of tea, so we politely folded our tent and left."

Reasonable and mature response. You stayed honest to yourselves, a BIG plus in my world.