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  1. #1
    Just Saying Hi Lilith0466's Avatar
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    rfrostla

    Default Alcohol and consent

    I’ll try not too get too long winded but I want to explain what I witnessed last night clearly. DH and I arrived at the club and there was a couple getting out of their car near by. I noticed the female was a little intoxicated by her body movements but not, falling down drunk. I did think “wow, pretty early in the evening”.

    We went in and sat with some other couples we know on the couches chatting. I saw the new couple we had seen outside getting the tour of the club and then they sat at a nearby high top table on stools and she started slamming back the drinks.

    Meanwhile, I noticed a young single guy scouting the place. He came and sat across from us, I whispered to DH, “no single guys tonight”, closed my legs and pulled my skirt down a bit, then resumed chatting with our friends. He got up and then continued hunting. Then I saw him move from couple to couple but like I said it was still early in the evening. Nobody was playing yet. Right about that time. The female of the new couple just fell off her stool. The males in my group stood to help her but her guy/hubby waved them off.

    A few minutes later mr single guy zoomed in on them and then shortly after the three of them headed upstairs. My group was discussing how sad that her guy would let someone play with her in her state. It’s kind of a sticky situation because we could tell she was intoxicated, but a lot of people at clubs get intoxicated and it IS a sex club after all. Maybe she gave consent prior to getting drunk.

    Thirty minutes later a man and a woman, not dressed in club clothes and with really angry looks on their face come into the club, march upstairs and come back down carrying drunk Lady out with her guy scurrying behind them. Maybe a brother, friends whatever but we were relieved someone had come and gotten her out of the situation.

    My DH doesn’t drink at the club because he drives home and he likes to stay in control of the situation. And he goes to our locker and fixes my drinks for me when I do drink so I know I don’t get that buzzy freehand pouring that can happen. It’s nice to feel safe with someone you trust to have your back.

    Just wanted to share that somewhat disturbing experience.

    Lil


  2. #2

    Default Re: Alcohol and consent

    Quote Originally Posted by Lilith0466 View Post
    Maybe she gave consent prior to getting drunk.

    The problem with this line of reasoning is that intoxicated people are not decisional, and cannot give consent.

    A useful analogy is elective surgery. The prior consent process is quite detailed because, once sedated and anesthetized, the patient cannot give consent. The process must include, at a minimum, a description of what is to transpire, and with whom (as the surgeon); an enumeration of the expected benefits, potential risks, and alternatives; and a clear statement that consent may be withdrawn at any time. Most consents will include language to the effect that if an unexpected situation/finding is encountered, decisions will be made in the best interest and safety of the patient.

    The club host appears to have some serious responsibilities here, as the activities you describe may well not have been consensual.

  3. #3
    Just Saying Hi Lilith0466's Avatar
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    rfrostla

    Default Re: Alcohol and consent

    Agreed. Personally, as observers though, we all (in our group) formed an opinion based on what we observed but since we weren’t privy to any prior discussion between the couple, felt conflicted about the situation. Remember, the male didn’t even want our guys to help her off of the floor, can you imagine if one of us had stepped in when they went upstairs?

    It was definitely a situation the females in my group agreed we wouldn’t be okay with and we were assured by our male partners it wasn’t a situation they would put us in.

    Maybe she wanted to swing, maybe getting drunk is the only way she could get the courage. Maybe she didn’t want to and getting her drunk was the only way to make it happen. We’ll never know I suppose but either way the situation bothers me a bit. Lil

  4. #4

    Default Re: Alcohol and consent

    I think the only thing that can be inferred from this story is that the lady had an alcohol problem.

    IF either gentleman had sex with her upstairs, I believe a felony (in many states) was committed.

    I think y'all were wise to not intervene. I doubt it would have gone well.

    Most responsibility for excessive drinking is on the drinker. This does not mean a drunk woman can be raped.
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

  5. #5
    Swingers Board Addict adamgunn's Avatar
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    sextiescouple

    Default Re: Alcohol and consent

    A tough situation. Something was definitely wrong, I can't imagine just what . . .

    On the other hand, you did the right thing. You decided not to play with her. Any guilt is on her and the guy she was with.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Alcohol and consent

    So, I go to a sex club, get drunk but then not want to be responsible for the decisions I make. Hey, I decided to go to a sex club, I decided to drink, aren’t I responsible for what happens there after. If I get in a car and drove and was in a accident, I would be responsible, but if I get fucked, I’m not, someone else is. I know, not the majority opinion in this day and age but maybe it should be.

  7. #7
    Swingers Board Addict adamgunn's Avatar
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    sextiescouple

    Default Re: Alcohol and consent

    Chico, you're describing the world as you want it to be . . . not the world as it is. You can gripe all you want, the world's not going to change . . .

  8. #8

    Default Re: Alcohol and consent

    Several years ago we were at the Red Rooster. Some lady got really drunk, falling off one the beds in the group room. The bouncers came in took her away, and they closed the club. Disappointing, because we were having a good time, but probably the best choice they could have made.

  9. #9
    Swingers Board Addict Baconheads's Avatar
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    baconhead

    Default Re: Alcohol and consent

    I remember a night at the Rooster where a dude fouled the main restroom there. Also a time at a house party in Salt Lake where a girl had to get half crocked to enjoy herself there. A shame in both situations.


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