Swingers Meet - The First Date

It is important that when you go out to meet other swingers in person (whether at a club or on a date with just one other couple) that you bring your “A” game and that both of you are in top form. If you’ve been fighting or are having a really bad day then you may want to reschedule the meeting, unless you can find a way to put all of that behind you. If the vibes between you as a couple are bad, couples that you meet will pick up on that.

When you do go out, do so without any expectations of what the night may bring. If you’ve seen pictures of the other couple you plan to meet, then you are justified in expecting them to look reasonably like their pictures. Overall, the fewer expectations that you have, of the couples you meet or of the night overall, the more likely you are to enjoy the evening. Also, keep in mind that you are to some degree responsible for the expectations of others. In other words, if you have given them some reason to expect certain things, then beware. Unless you know for a fact that you intend to have sex with them that night, do not give them any reason to expect it. If you don’t look reasonably like your own pictures then don’t be surprised when they walk out on you before dinner arrives.

Keep the alcohol to a minimum. In all swinging encounters, whether first meeting or not, you should keep alcohol consumption to a minimum. There is nothing wrong with having one or two drinks as you might normally when you are out for an evening, but be careful not to over-indulge, as this is probably the number one cause of regrets when it comes to swinging. Even if you don’t end up playing you don’t want to come off as someone who doesn’t know their limits or who can’t handle their alcohol.

Remember to exercise discretion when meeting other swingers in public places. Just because you are there to establish whether or not there is a mutual interest in having sex together, does not mean that the entire restaurant needs to know about your past escapades or experiences. While you may choose to be open about your lifestyle choice, most swingers are not. So keep the sex talk to a minimum (and a very low decibel) until you are in a private place. There are a million other things you can discuss when you first meet, so try to focus on those rather than strictly on sex.

You will be nervous, but just remember so are they. Your first meeting with another couple is a lot like a blind date, except now there are three or four of you who have to hit it off. Take it in stride and remember to bring your sense of humor. I would suggest having your first meeting at a restaurant, coffee shop or bar; someplace public, but quiet enough that you can easily talk to and hear one another. You may want to opt for a bar or coffee shop to have a little more control over how much time you have to spend with them, in case you don’t enjoy their company.

Well said!