When there are no fireworks

Just wondering how you react when the sex isn’t great. In my life, even before being with guys for partying, the guys always cum. I am lucky that I usually will have a good sexual outcome too. I was talking to a friend and she said it’s 50/50. Sometimes she does other times not.

How often do you orgasm? How do you react to your partner when he just doesn’t get you there?

Just wondering how you react when the sex isn’t great. In my life, even before being with guys for partying, the guys always cum. I am lucky that I usually will have a good sexual outcome too. I was talking to a friend and she said it’s 50/50. Sometimes she does other times not.

How often do you orgasm? How do you react to your partner when he just doesn’t get you there?

Yeah for us guys it is "easy"... we get off. The ladies... TBH sometimes it is hard to tell. They enjoy themselves but is it enough, good enough?

After the initial excitement (conquest) Sex often goes through a period where it is something you just do. It takes communication to make it better. Some stray, some leave, some work at making it better for both.

I am not going to lie but believe my SO maybe 50/50... depends on the "mood".

My wife orgasmed easily with me before we got into the LifeStyle, and with other men she was almost always satisfied. But, yeah, I understand that some women aren't that lucky. Most of the women I've been with seem to have had a decent orgasm, but could they have been faking, yeah, I guess so.

Yes, an orgasm is the 'desired outcome.' But there are other things that you might enjoy: the excitement of flirting, the feel of a different man's hand on your body, sharing with your partner how you felt after an encounter. If you're enjoying yourself, you're doing it right.

How do you react to your partner when he just doesn’t get you there?

Fortunately, I can usually get there once or twice before a guy cums. If I don't, what I do depends on the situation. If another guy is available and able, I'll see if he wants in me. If it's just us, sometimes I will suck him up to go again. If that doesn't work I'll demand oral until I come.

Typically, it’s much easier for us guys to get off. Penis, vagina, feels really good, done. And once we do, it’s over for a bit and you’re left with that unsatisfied feeling. I always aspire to wait until my partner has an orgasm before I have mine. I said aspire.

In my experience, each woman has their own unique “set of buttons”. It is not one size fits all. Some are visual. Some are into dirty talk. Some like clitoral stimulation. Etc, etc. So, as a guy with a woman for the first time, a little guidance goes a long way. Let the guy know what you like. If he gets that funny look on his face like he’s about to come (you know the one), switch it up. Change positions. Ask him to do something specific to get you there. Believe me, we appreciate that level of involvement.

We have all experienced what you are asking. Not every man will get you there every time. I don’t care how long a guy can go there are times you don’t explode. I can enjoy of have a good time without an orgasm. I prefer having and sometimes I need one. As others say, if you are at a party there will be others that can help. If it’s just another couple with you, I don’t expect my man to stop with who he is with. Also some men just get sleepy after cumming. Some men won’t go for oral especially if they were bare. Sometimes you have to just finish alone. My own fingers won’t stop until I am done. Don’t be afraid to get what you need done.

The female orgasmic response is variable from woman to woman. Some women orgasm from oral, some digital, some from intercourse and some combinations therein. I try to communicate with new partners to find out what they prefer. I think that most successful male partners in the lifestyle are trying to use their best efforts to make their female partner satisfied. Oral also means listening and paying attention.

Well certainly orgasms are best but I do love just being fucked, the feelings from the physical act even if it is not preceded by or does not lead to a full set of orgasms. I mean, there are always those little things going on that are enjoyable as well.

Just wondering how you react when the sex isn’t great. In my life, even before being with guys for partying, the guys always cum. I am lucky that I usually will have a good sexual outcome too. I was talking to a friend and she said it’s 50/50. Sometimes she does other times not.

How often do you orgasm? How do you react to your partner when he just doesn’t get you there?

There are internal and external factors. Internally, state of mind, stress-relaxation, other discomforts,alcohol--the list goes on. Externally, what is happening in all five senses, and the pace of stimulation.

We have one essential toy: the rechargeable cordless Hitachi Magic Wand. It travels with us (take note American Express: "we don't leave home without it"), is always charged in the nightstand etc. (We are on our second; one was absent-mindedly left in a hotel room in Santa Fe, that's another story...) When Mrs. FL wants some extra stimulation--it fits neatly between us on her clit--and is utterly reliable--she cums and cums.) Yes, we have many other toys. But this is the essential one.

Interestingly, among the female half of LS couples we have met recently, one keeps a rechargeable cordless Hitachi under her pillow, and the other also in her nightstand.

Not cheap, but absolutely the best dollars we have ever spent on sex stuff.

We have one essential toy: the rechargeable cordless Hitachi Magic Wand. It travels with us (take note American Express: "we don't leave home without it"), is always charged in the nightstand etc. (We are on our second; one was absent-mindedly left in a hotel room in Santa Fe, that's another story...) When Mrs. FL wants some extra stimulation--it fits neatly between us on her clit--and is utterly reliable--she cums and cums.) Yes, we have many other toys. But this is the essential one.

 

Interestingly, among the female half of LS couples we have met recently, one keeps a rechargeable cordless Hitachi under her pillow, and the other also in her nightstand.

 

Not cheap, but absolutely the best dollars we have ever spent on sex stuff.

While the personal vibrator traces its history back to the late 19th century — it’s barely hyperbole to suggest is was the second commercial application of home electrification after lighting — for many decades there was no public admission of its erotic purpose. Then, in 1972 “Tex” Williams, the son of one of my business colleagues, became (at least to my knowledge) the first to advertise in the mainstream media a vibrator explicitly for the explicit purpose of sexual gratification. If I recall correctly, it was called the Orgasmatron. Others eventually followed.

By the time Tex brought the vibrator out of the closet my then wife and I already owned a couple of vibrators (battery & plug-in) and dildos, which we had purchased in (kinda sleazy) adult bookstores, along with a couple of porno magazines and even early swinger magazines. I became a big advocate of vibrators, recommending them to friends, and even purchasing them on behalf of couples who were too shy to walk into an adult bookstore. In the decade or so afterward, before they became ubiquitous, I was like a Johnny Appleseed for vibrators. I introduced both of my subsequent wives and a number of girlfriends and FWBs to these heavenly devices.

One very slightly negative effect in a couple of cases (including my now wife) is that a woman who previously could cum through intercourse, oral or manual stimulation, becomes so accustomed to the power and intensity of a vibrator that it becomes not just the preferred way of achieving orgasm, but the only way. Of course that’s small potatoes compared with the women I’ve known who were unable to experience orgasm at all until they became acquainted with “The Orgasm You Can’t Say No To.”

For travelers who are devotees of plug-in vibrators, I offer one caveat. Check the voltage of the outlets in other countries. In many countries the wall-outlet voltage is 220. Your laptop and phone charger almost certainly operate on any voltage from 110-240. But not a hair dryer or vibrator. We discovered this to our chargrin on a trip to Ireland a few years ago. We flipped the switch and the Hitachi-type vibrator (briefly) made a sound like a chainsaw before flipping the round head off with sufficient velocity that it bounced off the adjacent wall.

... Some men won’t go for oral especially if they were bare. Sometimes you have to just finish alone...

Hell no! On those occasions when the guy's been too quick or I haven't cum for some reason (usually because I was accommodating something he wanted to do), he had better be willing to lick me/eat me even if there's semen leaking out of my vagina. If he cums while I'm giving oral, I smile roll it around my mouth and swallow; he better be damn sure willing to taste some semen for my pleasure. Fortunately, our guys in our poly family will do so, even if it's one of the other fellow's. They're not gay, but well trained.

 

One very slightly negative effect in a couple of cases (including my now wife) is that a woman who previously could cum through intercourse, oral or manual stimulation, becomes so accustomed to the power and intensity of a vibrator that it becomes not just the preferred way of achieving orgasm, but the only way...

As I have previously posted, that's what happened to my older sister, and for that reason I've stuck to my fingers. Clair and Lora sometimes use dildos, but not vibrators.

I bought my wife one of these Hitachi rechargeable Magic Wands a year or so ago. I never felt comfortable with the idea of having an electrical cord going to the wall socket like the original one. People were connecting these up to lamp dimmers to try to control the speed. The rechargeable one is much safer IMO and it seems very powerful. We have several attachments to it, some of which we have no idea how to use I know it is for women but I admit it feels good to me as well. It also works well for its supposed intended use, massaging sore muscles

PeterJ said:

While the personal vibrator traces its history back to the late 19th century — it’s barely hyperbole to suggest is was the second commercial application of home electrification after lighting — for many decades there was no public admission of its erotic purpose. Then, in 1972 “Tex” Williams, the son of one of my business colleagues, became (at least to my knowledge) the first to advertise in the mainstream media a vibrator explicitly for the explicit purpose of sexual gratification. If I recall correctly, it was called the Orgasmatron. Others eventually followed.

Some years ago, the Johns Hopkins University Press published a wonderful monograph by Rachel Maines entitled The Technology of Orgasm. A scholarly and engaging read.

I need to check out the Hitachi. If it’s expensive I most likely did pay attention to it. I have my toys from before I got married and more since. We never take them if we are playing. I can say I always orgasm. Of course that’s the best. I almost always do from oral and since I enjoy my girlfriends now it’s always fun.

I found Adam and Eve is better than my local pleasure boutique. I will look for the Hitachi and maybe get my friend one too.

I need to check out the Hitachi. If it’s expensive I most likely did pay attention to it. I have my toys from before I got married and more since. We never take them if we are playing. I can say I always orgasm. Of course that’s the best. I almost always do from oral and since I enjoy my girlfriends now it’s always fun.

I found Adam and Eve is better than my local pleasure boutique. I will look for the Hitachi and maybe get my friend one too.

The 2-Speed Hitachi has been around for at least 40 years (my first exposure to this device) and defined the wand-type vibrator. There are better and more developed models. My wife recommends highly the Body Wand. It is quieter than the Hitachi and to her the best feature is a thumb-roller switch that permits infinite speed adjustment. My wife has been having sex for over 50 years and playing with vibrators of various type for 30 years. YMMV, but the Body Wand (which was a gift from one of my playmates as thanks for “loaning” me to her) produces for my wife the best orgasms she’s ever had.

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"If I recall correctly, it was called the Orgasmatron"

This may be what it was called. If so, the name was "borrowed" from the Woody Allen movie "Sleeper". It was a machine you got inside and came out with a happy ending. Anyone remember that? There was also the "Orb" which was passed around like a joint.

Try the Satisfyer 2. Sucks the clit. Good reviews from users...a friend told us it was the Tesla of vibrators.

HornyToronto said:

 

This may be what it was called. If so, the name was "borrowed" from the Woody Allen movie "Sleeper". It was a machine you got inside and came out with a happy ending. Anyone remember that? There was also the "Orb" which was passed around like a joint.

Yeah, I had the name wrong, though Tex Williams’ vibrator (1972) predated the release of Woody Allen’s “Sleeper” (1973). After I made the post (above) it occurred to me that I had the name wrong, but it didn’t seem worth making an edit. (This was 45 years ago.) Then “Prelude” popped into my head, followed by “Prelude 3”. So, after noting the reply above, I tried Googling “Prelude Vibrator.” And here’s what I found:

https://www.ebay.com/i/253473847043?rt=nc

But even with this bit of evidence I’m not completely certain the name is correct. The Prelude 3 could be another vibrator that followed in Tex Williams’ pioneering approach in openly marketing vibrators for their actual purpose.

I looked up the Hitachi and I’m not sure why it’s better except the recharging part. We have one like the Prelude I don’t know what mine is called. Only use one of the attachments and we found a way to attach an jelly vibrator that broke. We took the vibrator off of it, after it died and stuffed it with cotton and put it on top of one of the heads. The vibration on an electric is much better. I do worry about electric and no playing in the shower.