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Thread: Bar Pickups

  1. #1

    Default Bar Pickups

    So this morning we started talking about the idea of having Mrs. E pick up a new playmate in a bar over the long weekend. It felt like a great idea when I was fucking her, then I was going to drop it, but she brought it back up again on her own tonight and we're game.

    When we did something like this on vacation, it was after a half dozen duds when prospective vanilla playmates realized there was another man in the picture and scattered. We'd like it to be a little less drawn out than that, and I know a lot of couples here have had some fun this way. Any advice on how to approach this and introduce the idea?


  2. #2
    Swingers Board Addict alexandsandra's Avatar
    Status
    married couple

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    Well, remember that most people aren't wired for this in the 'vanilla' world. Some experience can be invaluable. A swing club may be a more appropriate environment. As far as sex with an inexperienced guy in a bar, we only let Captain Kirk go where no man's gone before.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    We do this but its with the goal of MFM at the end of the evening. Normally, hubby is right there with me, we sit at the bar, eat or drink, and some guy will start to chat with us. At some point, I hubby may kind of drop out of the conversation and if become interested, I’ll move it from chat to flirt to seduce. Often makes for an fun evening even if it just ends along the way.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    We have picked up girls at the bar but have not tried the male thing yet.

    We do know of a couple that the male part sets up a few single guys in the LS to secretly meet at a bar and to flirt with his wife (wife is aware but does not know who the guys are) if she finds one attractive then they take it to a hotel. We asked why, and they responded itís safer that way due to the fact that the males are in the LS and know how to work with couples. Just a thought that may work for you guys.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    Quote Originally Posted by 2NoLimit View Post
    We have picked up girls at the bar but have not tried the male thing yet.

    We asked why, and they responded it’s safer that way due to the fact that the males are in the LS and know how to work with couples. Just a thought that may work for you guys.
    Wow, don’t know why that never occurred to us.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    We have done this a number of times with different outcomes. You are right that guys will run when you tell them that there will be another man watching. Most men have never had that experience and are totally freaked. There are two places we have had success. One is a hotel where businessmen stay. We go to the bar separately. Mike usually keeps his distance. He enjoys watching me come on to men. Be careful I have been accused of being a prostitute. The process can take time. Sometimes two or three drinks before moves are made. Like what was said some men run and refuse.
    The other fun thing is going to a hotel near Met Life stadium the weekend of a football game. There are normally groups of fans from the visiting team. Guys who are drinking and having fun.
    We are not always successful. If we aren’t we make our own fun.

  7. #7
    Swingers Board Addict asncpl's Avatar
    Status
    M. Female

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    Quote Originally Posted by TricianMike View Post
    You are right that guys will run when you tell them that there will be another man watching. Most men have never had that experience and are totally freaked.
    That's pretty much summed up our experience. So we made some adjustments. Mr. A wouldn't be in the room, but I'll keep my mobile phone line open or, if the guy is not shy, I'll have Facetime going and leave my phone on the nightstand so Mr. A can see.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    I had a strange bar experience. I hit on one of the regulars at the bar me and the wife go to...she had no idea we were in the lifestyle. She was extremely confused about the whole thing...the next day I FB messaged her to apologize for making things awkward. She's said it's ok and we can go further as long as my wife is ok with it.
    Well we invited her over the house last weekend...I made a move on her and she had zero interest whatsoever. I'm so confused as to why she came over fully knowing our intentions?

  9. #9

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    Erik - I would guess she came over because she was interested but maybe once there wasn't exactly feeling it. It doesn't mean she was obligated to go further.


  10. #10

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    Quote Originally Posted by Jane1902 View Post
    Erik - I would guess she came over because she was interested but maybe once there wasn't exactly feeling it. It doesn't mean she was obligated to go further.
    Agreed 100%. I won't make anymore moves and will keep it as friends unless she initiates it.

  11. #11
    Active Member lcmim's Avatar
    Status
    married couple
    SLS Profile
    lcmim

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    " we can go further as long as my wife is ok with it.
    Well we invited her"


    1ST "we"= you and her
    2nd "we"= you and your wife

    Is it possible she was thinking one on one with you and a threesome with possible girl/girl action was not in her wheelhouse?

  12. #12

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    Hmmm. We never suggested a threesome...my wife was just going to watch. I feel bad...I think I confused the hell out of the poor girl .

  13. #13
    Swingers Board Addict njbm's Avatar
    Status
    couple
    SLS Profile
    Scarletknight29

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    I think you have to execute lifestyle moves at lifestyle events. Vanilla people find it baffling. Even hooking up with other lifestylers can be a kabuki dance of misunderstood intentions.

  14. #14
    Swingers Board Addict adamgunn's Avatar
    Status
    Couple.
    SLS Profile
    sextiescouple

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    We never tried the bar experience, picked up the guy either on SLS or at a club.

    But I'm curious. What would happen if the husband was hanging out at the bar, watching her flirt, and she gets some interest. Then she could say, "I'm into you. I'm a little kinky. Are you kinky?" If he doesn't run away after that, they spend some time talking about kinks. Then she says, "Well, here's my kink. My husband loves to watch me in bed with another guy. He's not gay or anything, just likes to watch. We've tried it a few times, had a really great time. How'd you like to have a great time with me tonight?"

    Nice and easy, sneak up on it. Do you think it would work?

  15. #15

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    We’re very open about it, no sneaking up. Hubby is with me at the bar from the start. The chat may actually start between he and the other gentleman, maybe about the game that is on, maybe he’s an out of towner and asks about restaurants. At some point I may join in and this works well because I tend to be more social then hubby in most situations. And if I am interested, I take over the conversation and hubby may even fall out of it for awhile but I periodically bring him back into it, both conversationally and physically, putting my arm on his shoulder or thigh or what ever. He does the same with me so it remains obvious throughout that whatever we are into, we are into it together. Hubby says I take it through chat, flirt and seduce. Or more recently, he refers to it as the 3-F process, flirt, flaunt and fuck. If the conversation turns more sexual or the guy touches me, then again, I may bring hubby back into it, even put on of my hands on each of their shoulders, perhaps bringing them closer together as they lean in front of me to chat to one another, or a hand on each thigh if the guy has been touching my thigh or had his hand on my back as they sometimes do. So now, you’re becoming more of a threesome there at the bar, not much different than if hubby and I had met one of his friends at the bar, other than final intent. At some point, hubby will kind of give me the 10 minute warning, let’s go ahead and leave after this drink. When the guy hear’s this, he may offer to buy a last round, a clear indication that he is interested in what is going on. Or, he may whisper to me that he would like to meet me some time and I simply explain that I don’t do that but that if he is interested, he could hang with us tonight, or even say, we’re going back to our hotel room, want to join us. I tell hubby openly, that I have made whatever invitation, the guy may ask a few questions, and most come along with us. Some will say they have done it before, some that they have always wanted to do it, etc. I think maybe a key phrase is just follow hubby’s lead or just follow our lead.

  16. #16

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    Thanks for the responses in this thread. For the record, nothing came of it but we did have some fun hanging out at a couple of bars with a free pass to flirt.

  17. #17

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    So we saw the girl at the bar the other night. Her and I were outside and she said she had a conundrum with me. She said if I was single she would be humping my leg right now, but she has so much respect for my wife that she's confused about what to do. I reminded her that my wife told her several times it was ok if we played.
    She didn't say yes or no so I told her the offer stands if she's ever interested and left it at that. She was also very touchy feely while we were outside alone.


  18. #18

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    We'll do this when we are looking for someone new.

    She will go into the bar by herself. I'll wait a few minutes and then go in. I'll sit away from her and pretend I don't know her.

    We'll wait for guys to start flirting with her. Sometimes it's a hit. Sometimes it's a miss.

    She'll look at me and let me know if she is interested. I'll go over and pretend like I'm competing for her affection. You'll be surprised how many drunk men are willing to share her with me. Sometimes a long conversation will reveal that I'm her her husband willing to share her. We have never had any man being repulsed by that idea.

    There have been many disappointing adventures where there are either no men flirting with her or the men flirting with her are to unattractive too consider having sex with.

  19. #19

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    So I haven't played with the bar girl yet. She's possibly coming over Saturday. We had a talk the other day and she doesn't want my wife present when it happens...she also said she really likes me and thinks this might change things between us. My wife agreed to it but said I'm treading on dangerous ground here.

  20. #20
    Active Member lcmim's Avatar
    Status
    married couple
    SLS Profile
    lcmim

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    I am just guessing but I think this is one of a long list of things that she is going to want that are going to exclude your wife.
    B

  21. #21

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    she also said she really likes me and thinks this might change things between us
    Either you really 'like' your wife and are looking for someone to 'play' with (and this should be with your wife) or you really like her as well and are looking for someone to replace your wife. No matter which it is, she is looking for something different than you (hopefully) are. This is not a good idea...
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  22. #22

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    Not looking to replace my wife...she's the best! Just looking for a friend to play with. We have fun hiking together and hanging out and I thought why not add playing to the mix. I don't have any feelings for her other than a good friend.

  23. #23
    Active Member lcmim's Avatar
    Status
    married couple
    SLS Profile
    lcmim

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    She is coming to your house?

    The bargirl wants your WIFE to leave HER HOUSE so that she can screw HER HUSBAND?
    Dangerous ground? I would think maybe YESSSS!

  24. #24

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    Quote Originally Posted by lcmim View Post
    She is coming to your house?

    The bargirl wants your WIFE to leave HER HOUSE so that she can screw HER HUSBAND?
    Dangerous ground? I would think maybe YESSSS!
    I know it sounds bad, but my wife actually said she's not attracted to the girl and would rather not be around when we played. She came over yesterday, we had drinks and some great playtime. Wife got home soon after and we all hung out and chatted. Overall I think things went well.

  25. #25
    Active Member lcmim's Avatar
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    married couple
    SLS Profile
    lcmim

    Default Re: Bar Pickups

    Quote Originally Posted by Erik13 View Post
    I know it sounds bad, but my wife actually said she's not attracted to the girl and would rather not be around when we played. She came over yesterday, we had drinks and some great playtime. Wife got home soon after and we all hung out and chatted. Overall I think things went well.
    OKAY...

    This is from your 05 31 2018 post .

    "So I haven't played with the bar girl yet. She's possibly coming over Saturday. We had a talk the other day and she doesn't want my wife present when it happens...she also said she really likes me and thinks this might change things between us. My wife agreed to it but said I'm treading on dangerous ground here." (highlights added)

    Just reading what you wrote. Are you maybe reinterpreting things to get what you want out of this?

    Maybe the rope is just getting long enough to hang yourself.

    If the case was what you initially reported and it were my wifes words of warning. My response would be to back off.

    You know your situation better than I or anyone else can. You did come here and pose the question, so perhaps third hand opinions are requested?


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