Meeting Couple with Bi Wife

We have met our first couple, and though they didn't hide the fact that the wife was bi, my wife wasn't 100% prepared. I had stated before in other posts that we have played separately with others but never together and we were wondering what it would be like. The couple we met are great people. They took time, no pushing, were fun before, during and after. They did nothing wrong. My wife and I agree that we found the right people to do this with. The one thing that was different, and I have no problem with it, is the bi part of the other wife. We talked about what she likes to do and my wife and I agreed it would be fine for the wife to undress us. I found watching a woman undress my wife pretty sexy. I did notice my wife being a little stiff. She didn't stop the action and didn't balk outright. I kept asking my wife if she was okay and she said she was. The rest of our time with the couple was how I thought a swap would be. It is not like being alone with someone in a hotel.

Afterwards my wife and I talked. It was the "was it good for you" conversation. Both of us agreed it was different. Both agreed we would do it again. We even talked about what it was like to watch. I made the comment about watching a woman doing things to her. Maybe I laughed about her freezing up. I was just joking. Then my wife asked a pointed question. Would I let a bi man suck me. I said it's different than the two women playing. She wanted to know why it's different. I couldn't give a real answer. My answer is a strong no. Then I got into saying swinging has many more bi women than bi men. I don't know if that is true, in my mind women swingers play with other women. I have no basis for that thought. Right now the couple we met are the only ones we are talking to. I think they want to meet again. I won't make any plans without both me and my wife agreeing. I'm just afraid the bi thing will stop it.

With our first time not that long ago I know exactly what you mean about mixed emotions and being different than you imagined. We still have mixed emotions, but are both completely sure that we want to continue.

Over the years we've obviously exchanged fantasies and most things have been covered and while I don't class myself as bi, I do appreciate another woman's body and although nothing was discussed before meeting about doing anything bi.....it just happened......more mixed feelings, because I'd be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy myself.

Communication is key and as we've found out its key at all times.

Apparently, your wife is not interested in female on female. Okay, no LifeStyle law that says there has to be interest in that.

Appreciate your wife's feelings, let her have the experiences she wants to have.

... Then my wife asked a pointed question. Would I let a bi man suck me. I said it's different than the two women playing. She wanted to know why it's different. I couldn't give a real answer. My answer is a strong no. Then I got into saying swinging has many more bi women than bi men...

From my experience, you're right on everything. There are more bi women than men, and same sex activity between women is accepted much more by both men and women. In the vanilla world women hugging, kissing, cuddling isn't frowned upon, and even wives having sex with another woman isn't cheating to most vanilla guys thinking. At first I was reluctant to play with another girl, but learned to love it once I started. You just need the right woman. The guys, however, have never played with each other despite bumping balls during DP, eating a pussy messed with the other guy's cum, pushing another dick into one of us girls, etc.

Then my wife asked a pointed question. Would I let a bi man suck me. I said it's different than the two women playing. She wanted to know why it's different. I couldn't give a real answer. My answer is a strong no. Then I got into saying swinging has many more bi women than bi men. I don't know if that is true, in my mind women swingers play with other women. I have no basis for that thought. Right now the couple we met are the only ones we are talking to. I think they want to meet again. I won't make any plans without both me and my wife agreeing. I'm just afraid the bi thing will stop it.

No, it isn't any different. Straight people are straight and it's still sex even if there isn't a dick involved. Unless you, a straight man, are willing to let a man suck your cock, because, hey, it's just a blow job and if your eyes are closed do you really care, then taking the position that "women swingers play with other women" is not goingA to go well for you.

I've never taken a comprehensive survey, but after 15 plus years I'd say there are slightly more bi women in swinging than in any equivalently sized random group. The remainder of "bi" women are what Kinsey referred to as incidentally homosexual, just with lots more opportunities for that incidental homosexual behavior. As the restrictions and social opprobrium regarding male/male play have eased, more men are identifying as bi or bi-curious and I'm guessing many of them are likewise only incidentally same sex inclined, but with a lot of opportunities. And, yes, there is a difference between bi as a sexual identity and "bi" as an accurate description of how you like to play.

I can't think of any reason I'd turn down playing with a couple with a straight woman, although I'd be pretty insistent on knowing her boundaries (if we brush against each other, is that going to be problem?) and that's in a threesome. In a swap, it would be even easier.

Don't push her...let her go at her own pace and if she never plays with a woman so be it.

My wife got a call from the other wife Saturday asking if we wanted to meet. We already had plans but she asked about Sunday afternoon. She didn't say yes because she was concerned about the bi play so she said she had to check with me. She also said we could come to their house. We did our play at a hotel the last time. Not to sound cheap, the hotel was expensive. They had offered to share the cost. I paid. Part of a safety factor going to a hotel. I am not ready to tell people where we live. My concern was going to their house, my wife was concerned with the bi play. She told my wife to call in the morning and that they had no plans for a rainy day. We talked and I left it up to the wife. It is her call. I was hoping she would agree even if it was not a hotel. Figured we can always cancel if we didn't like what we saw when we went to their house. We went out Saturday night and saw plenty of people we know. Funny how once you swing I am thinking how many of the people we know swing too. Came home and we talked. She said maybe. If I knew we were going to play I would have sex but we did. Morning comes, rainy day, and we call them. I hear my wife say she wasn't looking for anything bi. Could only hear one side with plenty of okays. She jots down the address. I had to Google the address. Nice house! I should have let them pick up the hotel last week. I told my wife that this about her. The other couple were more into the wife being bi and meeting women. I know we had a great time before and no pressure, my wife had to know how I felt. I think I talked myself out of a good fuck. We cancelled with a lame excuse.

I think your right to let your wife decide and its nice to hear that theres no pressure about anything, always the best way.

We're pretty new and have gone to a couples house.....for us it changed the dynamics and wasn't for us.....at least for the moment, so I can appreciate your preference for meeting at a hotel and always make sure its a nice one, nothing cheap! ?

Theres that saying 'don't knock it until you've tried it' which is very true, but like anything theres a right time and for some it never happens.......does it matter that much?

Most people in the L/S will gladly honor the requests of the other couple. Since they know that your wife isn't bi, I think it's REALLY safe to assume that she won't be asked to do something that she has let everyone know she isn't interested in. You have already played once and nothing happened between the two women that wasn't agree to and I don't think that anything will change the next time (or the time after that). Go, have fun, and stop worrying about things that haven't happened (and most likely won't). That they still want to get together with the two of you means that they enjoy your company even with the 'restriction'. Give them a break and a chance...

If you aren't comfortable you aren't comfortable. Bi women or bi men it shouldn't be any different. You wouldn't have been comfortable in her shoes, so you should give her that grace and understand that she wasn't comfortable. As much as you enjoyed it. I love the idea of seeing two guys together but I wouldn't want to put a guy I'm with in that situation if it wasn't something he was comfortable with/wanted.

It sounds like perhaps in future endevors you should probably move the boundary line so that she isn't put into an uncomfortable position just to please everyone else.

I’m totally with the “if you’re not comfortable……thing. Our first invite to LS was from a nice couple but they stated she was bi. Scared me off. We entered LS via MFM. Later, let a woman do me but I just couldn’t do her, even made out once with a very attractive girl while at Desires. Still, no real interest on my part. I know hubby would like it if I were into it, it would open a lot of new opportunities but I am firm, no way he would do it with another man, no way I’m doing it with another woman. We do swaps, MFM’s, house parties, etc., and we very much enjoy LS without either of us crossing into the bi area, not that its bad, just not for us.

Don’t push the topic. If the other couple was only looking for bi play they wouldn’t continue wanting to play with you UNLESS..it’s a game for them and your wife is a prize. Nothing you said points to that so it just me getting in your head, or not. Really just let your wife go and do what she likes. Remember to have fun.

I wouldn't over analyz this, I'm bisexual and I've swung with straight couples and never even mentioned it.  Plus I'm not into women that are not into me, or if the chemistry is wrong.  There are no guarantee in swinging its like a date, you either like them enough to let them see your special places or you don't.  Just don't mislead anyone saying she is bi when she is not. Good luck and Keep on keeping on.