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SW_PA_Couple

Swingers and near-death experiences

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Some of the playmates whom my wife and I know have told us of a near-death experience and relate their experience to a desire to have fun while time remains to have fun. I have, myself, had a near-death experience. Stapholycccus in my blood stream and three months in a hospital almost did me. Do you suspect that such an experience might make you or people you know more receptive to consensual non-monogamy?

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I think that near-death experiences typically cause one of two reactions within a person 1. Crippling fear and anxiety or 2. A sense of abandon, a need to fulfil the dreams and desires that person was always too afraid to explore. I can certainly see how this would lead one to polyamory and/or swinging!

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For my wife and I the fact that a lot of our friends/family recently got diagnosed or died from cancer has certainly made a big difference to how we see life and how we wish to live what we have left, was it a factor in deciding to look into swinging ? Yes! But of course not the only reason.

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I think some kind of high stress event contributes, yes. In our case there was a really high stress family issue that we both had to address. From that we 'blossomed' to swinging, or enjoying life to it's fullest.

 

In discussing the same with others, I often encounter that similar theme.

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I can see how what you all are describing could certainly be the case. I'll throw a different perspective out there. Less than 24 hours after our first swinging experience, I was at urgent care. The next day after that I was so sick I could hardly lift my head off the pillow. The next day after that I was in the hospital. After several days there when things were starting to look up, the physician who was coordinating my care told me if I'd been one more day later to the hospital it would have been ICU and 50/50 odds. Two more days, lights out, no chance of making it.

 

None of that was related whatsoever to swinging, just bad timing. But, once the crisis had passed, mrs. cplnuswing told me that something that ran through her mind more than once during the darkest hours of that experience was that she was going to lose me and she wasn't the last woman I had been with. That bothered her, and it would me too if the roles had been reversed.

 

After that was I any more or less adventerous when it comes to swinging? Not really, although in other ways I became much more cognizant of my own mortality and a little less cavalier about some things.

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Looking back, we were a military family during the VietNam era. We reflect now that a lot of our fellow service folks were into swinging with more than one couple saying, better enjoy sex now as body bags were piling up.

 

We literally knew of couples that relied upon their circle of friends to keep the spouses sexually content while their service member was off to duty. It wasn't polymory, but it was support driven by a close knit group of peers with a sense that life could be quickly shortened. In some cases, it was.

 

So, yeah. We can see why folks might be inspired by the threat of ceasing life.

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Nearly every LS couple we know has one of the three following characteristics: they have had a near death experience; someone close has had a catastrophe; or they are in a profession that brings them close to those facing death. In our case, the trifecta.

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I'm kind of taken aback by this thread, since I'd never considered this. Although we'd talked about swinging intermittently before it happened, we did also have a family catastrophe that threw everything out of whack for a while, including fitness and sex life.

 

As we rebuilt our routines, I can see where maybe we were disabused of some ideas about what's important.

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I think the simply answer is "yes" but only if swinging is already something that I want to try. There are things we are afraid of doing for whatever reasons, and a near-death experience may very well make us realize that we should not let fear prevent us from doing or trying those things we want to do.

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