Who has seen David Schisgall's documentary film?

We are curious to know if any of you have seen David Schisgall's documentary film, The Lifestyle, and if so, what do you think of it. It has it's critics but we believe it matches our experience and our personal perception of the lifestyle, for good and bad, all the way up and down the line. Let us know.

I haven't seen it, but from this statement by David Schisgall I would believe it would be above par for a film on swinging:

Quote

Interviewer: ...you make a statement regarding the film which is very provocative in and of itself really: "Frankly, I think the swingers may be morally superior to the audience." What should we take from that?

 

Schisgall: What I mean is that sometimes documentarians make fun of their subjects, portraying them as inferior to the filmmakers and the audience. No one would ever make fun of, say, an aboriginal tribe that was the subject of a documentary, or a community of the underprivileged in this country, and I refused to do it to the swingers. "The Lifestyle" is very funny -- but without making fun. We walked a fine line. The swingers may be morally superior to the audience in that they are sometimes more honest, more attentive, and have better communication with their spouses than people in the audience. Think about it -- in the average American marriage, one member telling the other they want to have sex with other people tends to lead pretty quick to a discussion about divorce. To make swinging work you have to have a very strong relationship with excellent communication. And the swingers -- particularly the ones in this film that are coming out of the closet for the first time -- certainly have the courage of their convictions.

Shazam! I haven't seen it yet, but I'll have to.

I remember seeing the clip from the Oprah episode when they interviewed him. Two things that stuck out in my mind were his statements that not only were swingers as moral as the rest of society, but probably MORE moral than the general population, and that he stated that swinging was the double black diamond slope of marriage. You could've heard a pin drop in the studio. All I could think was HA!! Right on, dude!

well, don't go to blockbuster online, there's now a "long wait" for it.

Here's a review from their site:

Quote

"What sort of people engage in recreational group sex on a regular basis? David Schisgall's documentary The Lifestyle provides one answer: mostly cheerful, but paunchy, suburban couples who have either slipped into middle age or are starting to advance past it."

everyone certainly seems cheerful around here, are you paunchy?

Here is the blurb on Zip.ca

Forget martinis and Austin Powers. This documentary is an unflinching portrait of the realities of "swinging," and it's not exactly a shaggadelic picture. The swingers we meet are older, often lonely people looking to break out of their conventional lives by adopting "the lifestyle." Birds and bees may not do it, but we learn that monkeys do -- as well as 3 million Americans.

Ok, paunchy sometimes. But lonely?

::looks around::

Who's lonely here? I wish I could be lonely sometimes, LOL.

I would say that from the amount of members on this board... it would be hard to get lonely in this lifestyle.

::singing::

"I don't wanna be lonely no more,

I don't wanna have to pay for this.

I don't wanna know the lover at my door

Is just another heartache on my list.

I don't wanna be angry no more,

But you know I could never stand for this.

So when you tell me that you love me -

Know for sure.

I don't wanna be lonely anymore."

Not only have we seen it, but Sheryl and her previous husband actually appear in it. On this board, Schisgall's documentary was mentioned several times in this thread about swinging documentaries.

Sounds like an interesting and fair documentary about something we all know a little bit about...something the "critics" don't quite understand and may be a little afraid of.

Anyone know where I can find a copy of this?

sexyshelby said:

Anyone know where I can find a copy of this?

Amazon.ca has it in DVD or VHS: Amazon Canada

Only in VHS: Amazon USA

Amazon.ca has it in DVD or VHS: Amazon Canada

Only in VHS: Amazon USA

Thanks for the tip. We were wondering why our DVD searches on Amazon USA were coming up empty!

You're welcome

A trick to quickly find what's available in what format is to go first to the Internet Movie Database, search out the film there, then check out the "Shop" box in the upper right corner. The "lit" indicators are the available formats on the different Amazon sites.

IMDB is great. They've got more information than you'd imagine about all sorts of films. Here's the page for "The Lifestyle"

We actually use the IMDB several times a week, but somehow we never noticed the "shop" banner before. When you spend as many hours on the internet as we do, you learn how to "tune out" banners. Thanks for bringing it to our attention.

Greg & Sheryl said:

Not only have we seen it, but Sheryl and her previous husband actually appear in it.

Yes, yes! I do recognize you from the film. JoAnn and I remarked to each other that it must have taken a certain amount of fortitude to appear in a documentary like this. Like others who have posed here, we first learned about the film on the April 2005 Oprah program (which I guess must have been repeated in November). The quotations from the movie reviews are a bit startling. A bit of envy, no doubt. The great newspaperman, H. L. Menkin, wrote that a Puritan is someone who lays awake at night with the worry that someone, somewhere might be having fun. Let the critics and the Puritans worry themselves to death. I am ready to look past a little paunch to see the look of fun in someone's eyes.

Hope you are both having fun in Denver. It was my home for seven years. I took JoAnn there (her first visit) last March. Took her to the Buckhorn Restaurant. I was startled to see how much my old neighborhood around Rio Grande Avenue had changed.

We watched The Lifestyle last night... really enjoyed it and thought it presented a fair and reasonably accurate picture of the lifestyle, at least as far as we know it.

It focussed heavily on parties and conventions which, so far, are not things we have experienced. Also, the average age was a bit older than we are used to seeing either at clubs or online. Talking about it after, our guess was that the producer went to the most obvious place for an outsider to start a documentary about swinging... to a lifestyle convention and took it from there. Sort of the group sex crowd rather than the couple/couple "friends with benefits" end of the spectrum. Sure looked like fun...

As to the age thing, we think it came down to who was willing to appear on camera. As one of the main characters put it, he's 62, he's paid his dues, raised his kids, he doesn't care what other people think. A couple in their thirties or forties with jobs and kids at home, etc. might be a bit more reluctant. There certainly were some exceptions... younger people with the courage go on the record. Kudos to them all!

Could go on, but this is getting to be a book already. All in all, in our opinion, a very wothwhile time. See it, if you can.

It can be purchased for about $15. Just do a title search on The Lifestyle at dvdpricesearch.com and compare prices. We haven't started swinging yet and have no experience, so judge our opinion accordingly. However, we've done a lot of research (thanks to the swingers forum, and a number of books) and have viewed many of the subject offerings that are available on VHS and DVD. This film, though its primary subjects are middle age and older, seems the most informative for what swinging is to this particular group of folks. It's my favorite of the movie/video resources. That being said, it's probably time for another film maker to take a more comprehensive look at the subject and its many variables.

Can't wait to see it. Thanks for bringing it up. I'm not an avid Oprah watcher, especially, if I don't have a heads-up on anything interesting being featured.

I think that we've seen this video. Is Sheryl the bubbly blond that was married to the asian fellow who hosted the BBQ?

From the reviews on Amazon.ca it seems this film shows mainly older participants in the 55 plus range. The film was also made 7 years ago. Tried to see if it was available through the Torrent sites but no luck. If anyone else sees it let me know what you think but from the reviews I have seen so far I think I will give it a miss.

HappyPeople said:

I think that we've seen this video. Is Sheryl the bubbly blond that was married to the asian fellow who hosted the BBQ?

No, Sheryl is the redhead.