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Swinger couple writes a book about their experiences in the Lifestyle

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It's interesting to compare several type of writings: swingers' memoirs of their own experiences entering (and in some cases, leaving) the LS--the book at the top of the list is an example, as is Swingland by Daniel Stern; swingers writing fiction about swinging; and people who have not experienced the LS writing either fiction or non-fiction about swinging. The "never experienced but writing about it" type usually comes as reporting in newspapers, magazines, TV and subsequent commentary.

 

What makes the comparison interesting, of course, are the different perspectives. Substitute "the LS" and "swingers" with pairings of other human activities (example, car racing and race car drivers, swimming and swimmers, painting and painters, going to law school and law students) and you will also find similar types of writings. In the latter categories, professional writers do a pretty good gob of capturing what they are writing about even though they have never experienced it.

 

Why is it that so many accounts of the LS written by non-participants fail to convey what the LS is about? Is it because of lack of understanding? Sensationalism? The morals/values overlay that is seemingly inescapable? Never actually interviewing ordinary people who participate?

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This is a damn fine book. Searching online revealed that the authors are real and these are their real names, and that they do live right down the street from the Le Trapeze club in New York City, actually grew up and went to school where they said they did, etc. I bought several copies to give away as presents to people I know who "think they know everything about sex", but actually don't. Only thing I noticed wrong is that the cover has only pictures of wedding rings on it, probably making people who saw it in the bookstore believe it's a book about marriage alone, and not swinging.

 

They've shown the world that it is actually regular people that participate in swinging and orgies. Unlike people who post on websites such as Swingersboard (us), where everyone is basically anonymous and thus, people may or not believe their stories. And there's also no way to tell what these people online are like in real life. Or, self-proclaimed "freaks" who write about the Lifestyle, which give others the notion that only "freaks" do this. Swingers are not freaks--they're EVOLVED.

 

>>Why is it that so many accounts of the LS written by non-participants fail to convey what the LS is about? Is it because of lack of understanding? Sensationalism? The morals/values overlay that is seemingly inescapable? Never actually interviewing ordinary people who participate?

 

All of the above. Also, the news media seems to be afraid to report honestly on these subjects, for fear they'll lose their advertising. Some advertisers are immoral, money grubbing corporations who try to make themselves appear moral by opposing any sort of sexual fun, outside of marriage.

 

Best account I've seen thus far from non-participants of swinging is the book Swinging in America: Love, Sex, and Marriage in the 21st Century, by Curtis R. Bergstrand and Jennifer Blevins Sinski, 2009. This one is difficult to find at a library, as it's not popular with the lay public. It has a lot of statistics and other non-titillating stuff that bores a lot of lay people, but it is excellent nonetheless.

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