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Hello all...we’re doing our research on this, but was hoping to get input from those of you with experience. My wife and I are looking to go to one of the 2 Desire resorts next March, but don’t know which one is the best fit for what we’re looking for...we’re a relatively fit married couple (19yrs) in our 40s...not in the LS, but have experienced hot voyeurism/exhibitionism on a day/night pass at Hedo (again, not in LS but wife did arrange a nice wife/wife session in the Romp Room that I enjoyed watching...something she also tried in high school apparently) and four night stay at Caliente in Tampa...we like to stay on the fringes of the LS, but love interacting with people...don’t want to be surrounded by “senior swingers” (no offense, but we’re sure to get there someday!?), but also don’t want to be around immature hard bodies either! The limited chances we get to take vacation, we like to treat ourselves well at nice resorts and restaurants...we like to party, dance and drink, so definitely want a fun vibe wherever we decide to go. Any tips/advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks,

J

 

PS completely irrelevant to my original question, but I’d also like to hear from any women who were initially reluctant to participate in the LS as to what finally pushed them over the edge. I’m not trying to convince my wife of anything, as for me it HAS to be on her terms completely. I’m just curious what various couples’ tipping point might have been!

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We’ve been to each Desire once about four and five years ago. We felt RM was younger and had more LS activity. Pearl had nicer facilities and food, but an older crowd and less LS activity. Friends who have been there since confirm our view. You could spend a few days at each or visit the other one. They are geographically minutes apart by car.

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Even at RM, some low percentage, like 10 or 20% any given day are not swingers, just nudist. When you start talking with them, they politely let you know so you don’t have false expectations of them. Pearl is nice but both are heads and shoulders above Hedo, and because Pearl is more expensive, I think it gets an older crowd, and thus maybe there is a little less LS or maybe it’s done in a less obvious way, i.e., not at the hot tub at th 1am orgy.

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It all depends on who is there the time you are there. There are times when people say RM is the younger crowd, then there are times where Desires is the younger crowd. Bottom line is either find a board (not mentioning any names because I'm not sure if it's allowed but a search should do you) that has people who are already going to each and see if you find a group that you feel more comfortable with. Either way, you can't go wrong with either location and you WILL enjoy yourselves.

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We've been to both resorts and just returned last night from 8 nights at Desire (4 at RM and 4 at Pearl). We had Friday night at RM as our last night and Saturday night at Pearl as our first night so we could experience a weekend night at each. We have been to Pearl a number of times before for a week at a time. It is true that the vibe is set by the crowd that is there at the time. We saw more action going on at Pearl on Saturday than we did the whole 4 days we were at RM. Ages varied at both as well as bodies style so don't plan on a "hard body" setting at either.

 

Each person you ask will have their preferences and we find an even mix between Pearl and RM preferences. If you can swing it, we would suggest 4 days at each. Any shorter than that and you really don't get into the swing of things (no pun intended). If you can't spend at least 4 days at each, then pick the one and stay there.

 

Pearl: Nicer rooms (88 total), more open space on the grounds, huge pool and giant jacuzzi, we think the disco club is better in size/layout,

RM: Maybe better beach, 114 rooms but varying degrees of style from spartan to luxurious, small pool and jacuzzi, disco and jacuzzi up a flight of stairs (not a good combo with sexy heels and drinking). Habatchi grill is very good.

 

Staff at both are top notch.

 

You can't go wrong with either.

Remember - even a bad day at Desire beats a great day anywhere else every time! :) :)

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We started looking into a trip to Desire, I think we will try RM first. We are 42 and 36 and RM looks like a lot of fun. They both do but I think RM appeals to us a bit more. Now if the Canadian dollar would just get a little better so the exchange isn't so bad....

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We REALLY need to go back to RM. If only Ms. Gold wasn't so worried about the instability in Mexico (I know, it's not a problem, but try to convince a woman of that... :( )

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We REALLY need to go back to RM. If only Ms. Gold wasn't so worried about the instability in Mexico (I know, it's not a problem, but try to convince a woman of that... :( )

 

The press gives Cancun a bad rap because it creates a lot of clicks. Just like a sickness breakout on a cruise ship. But she has to look at the data herself and make a decision.

 

Homicide rate per 100,000 people by city:

St Louis 60.9

Baltimore 51.0

Detroit 38.9

New Orleans 37.1

Memphis 28.5

Kansas City 27.8

Newark 26.6

Washington 22.8

Cleveland 22.4

Philadelphia 22.1

Buffalo 22.1

Chicago 20.7

.

.

.

Cancun 12.7

 

Cancun is safer than other cities based upon homicide rates including Tulsa, Ft Wayne, Oakland, Milwaukee and Atlanta.

 

We stay on resort property except for the beach walk down to Puerto Morelos.

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Thanks for the feedback on this. We’re headed to RM in October 2020. As I mentioned in OP, we’re not technically in the LS but some comments from my better half have given me a clue her mind might be warming to the possibility!

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The press gives Cancun a bad rap because it creates a lot of clicks. Just like a sickness breakout on a cruise ship. But she has to look at the data herself and make a decision.

 

Homicide rate per 100,000 people by city:

St Louis 60.9

Baltimore 51.0

Detroit 38.9

New Orleans 37.1

Memphis 28.5

Kansas City 27.8

Newark 26.6

Washington 22.8

Cleveland 22.4

Philadelphia 22.1

Buffalo 22.1

Chicago 20.7

.

.

.

Cancun 12.7

 

Cancun is safer than other cities based upon homicide rates including Tulsa, Ft Wayne, Oakland, Milwaukee and Atlanta.

 

We stay on resort property except for the beach walk down to Puerto Morelos.

 

The murders in Cancun likely occur within the city limits. I don’t think people are driving 20 minutes south of Cancun, breaking through the gate security and murdering people at the Desire resort.

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She's not worried about AT the resort, just the 30 minutes getting there and back on the public roads. Hey, I didn't say it was a RATIONAL fear...

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PS completely irrelevant to my original question, but I’d also like to hear from any women who were initially reluctant to participate in the LS as to what finally pushed them over the edge. I’m not trying to convince my wife of anything, as for me it HAS to be on her terms completely. I’m just curious what various couples’ tipping point might have been!

 

Listening to “swinger diaries” and “we gotta thing” and “that couple next door” podcasts is what made my wife decide to take the jump. We had talked about it for years. It was the podcasts that made her realize swingers were just normal people like us who like sex. With other people.

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