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Hi! So we are deciding to go to a swingers resort to get our feet wet. This way we can ease ourselves into it a bit more and kind of immerse ourselves at the same time but maybe go at our own pace. I think the biggest hurdle for us is just that first step. We both are a little nervous on how to start.

 

Anyway, she likes the idea of having sex in public first or at a club. We heard Desire was nice but wondering if there are others. The fantasy would definitely be where we can go to a club and have sex. We are both around 40. She's in great shape. he could lose 15-20 pounds. But we definitely don't want just a bunch of 20 year olds staring at the old people wondering why we are there.

 

Any ideas on the best resort for this in Mexico or Caribbean?

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You should definitely check out Hedonism II in Negril, Jamaica. There is no other place like it. The best thing about it is the people who go there. There is a great mix of folks from all over the US and Canada and other countries, as well. There are people of all ages, body types, etc., but nobody judges. Everyone is friendly, everyone gets along, and it is very easy to get to know people.

 

While the entire resort is clothing optional, except the lobby, gym, and where food is served, there is a "prude" beach where you can wear swimming suits or just bottoms, and also a nude side, where the pool, hot tub, and beach are nude only. It is all-inclusive except for buying things in the gift shop or having a massage at the spa. All food, alcohol, water sports including scuba, etc. are all included. The food is delicious and the staff is wonderful.

 

If you go to the Hedonism website, you can see which groups are going to be there when, look at their websites and decide which ones you might be interested in traveling with. You will get a better daily rate if you are with a group. We love Jon's Fuffernutters (fluffernutters.com) which is always a great time, but have also had lots of fun with various other groups.

 

Hard to have a bad time at Hedo. Anything goes at Hedo, so if you want to keep to yourselves, that's fine, but if you want to join in the fun with others, there are opportunities to do that. If you want to play by the pool while others watch, take others back to your room for playtime, or go to the playroom at night, no problem. You can make your vacation the way you want it at Hedo. Good luck!

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Have been to both Desires (5 times) and Hedo (2 times). Desires is much nicer, more upscale, more expensive, better food, etc but is couples only. Hedo, is nice but not as nice, but is not couples only so the male-female ratio is not at all close to 50-50. Hedo is more of a spring break atmosphere. Both are fun.

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The 'problem' with Hedonism (if you want to call it a 'problem') is that they allow single men to visit (and doesn't the 1/2 nude, half prude thing kind of make the place only 1/2 nude...?). Fine if that's what you are looking for, but we are looking for other couples and don't like having single men lurking and asking if they can play with her as well. Just a personal preference, and only pointing this out as information.

 

Other than Desire RM, there's Desire Pearl and Hidden Beach Resort. Hidden Beach is more nudist than swinger. As for Desire and Desire Pearl the main difference seems to be age groups. We are 100% into Desire RM although we haven't been back since Secrets opened next door (although all reports say that there hasn't been any problems and security has been greatly increased). Pearl is more 'in town' and seems geared to the younger crowd.

 

Personally, we do wish that there were more places, but for what we are looking for there's Desire RM and a bunch of distant second places.

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BTW: Desire RM and Pearl are both all inclusive as well (less gift shop and spa). If you want to have public sex, head to the rooftop Jacuzzi! It's literally surrounded by beds specifically for that purpose. Or you can head to the 'play room' off to one side of the disco. Several beds, a swing, and anything goes. They try to limit most 'play' to those areas so not to make others feel uncomfortable, but nudity is allowed everywhere (can't say for sure at Pearl...they used to limit nudity in some areas). Most important is that everyone is extremely respectful and there usually isn't any other 'touching' unless permission is asked for and granted first. Almost impossible not to have a great time.

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We have been to HEDO II every year since 2001, were married there in 2002. and we are going again this year during Thanksgiving week (we always go then, AKA as Spanksgiving) we have never had issues with single men, maybe it is the time of year.

 

I totally agree with tbone1, people are great. In fact we took a trip to Europe to meet-up with friends from Europe that we met at HedO II.

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More information about going to HEDO II, what we have learned over 15+ years.

 

We fly of LAX, it would take us 8-12 hours to get there because there were no non-stop flights, after Air Jamaica went out of business. We had long lay-overs usually in Miami, and clearing customs on the return trip in Miami SUCKS. Fly non-stop clear customs once.

 

Up grade to a better class seat, when you arrive you will be more relaxed. Customs in Jamaica can take 1-3 hours depending on how many flights arrive when you do, they are more improved now.

 

We also sign-up (and pay) for Club Mobay. Nice lounge to relax in both ways and get you through customs much faster.

 

Our first trip flight left at midnight arrived in Mobay at 6AM (this was when AJ had non-stops from LAX) 2 hours to clear customs, and a four hour bus ride, only takes an hour now with new roads. Plus we were so excited we didn't nap much before our trip.

so we had been up for 24 hours when we got there.

 

Then there was free top shelf liquor, naked people in the pool, and food of course. We were up all that day and most of that night. We were probably awake for 40+ hours.

 

DO NOT DO THAT. The next two days were wasted in trying to catch-up on sleep, and recovering from all the alcohol.

 

Look for the weeks that a group is going that fits your age and desires. I think groups like Spring Breaker are 20 somethings, Swinger week is well mostly swingers, etc.

 

Often you can gt good room rates if you sign-up with a group.

 

Thanksgiving is usually 40+ including us who are now 70 (really, where did that come from?) and 62, but we can still have fun.

 

There is a Hedonism website that lists groups. There is also Dennyp.com a travel agent we use (no I don't get a commission..darn) that has a lot of information about HEDO II as well as the other resorts others have mentioned, it is well worth a visit.

 

If you have more questions, please ask, I will try to answer.

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Thanks everyone! Desire and Hedo were on our list. I think we are leaning desire over hedo but wasn't sure if there are others out there.

 

We saw hidden beach which seemed a little more our style, but to the point it may be more nudist, which may be fine for our first time. Has anyone ever heard of Azulik in Tulum?

 

Seems similar to Hidden beach but the rooms are very open so it seems like it may have a voyeur/exhibition vibe which also is definitely our style.

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Interesting place, but I didn't see anything about clothing optional (and the pictures all show clothed guests). No lights (and grass huts!) and no showers (tubs only). Could be fun but unless it is no clothes we'll keep heading to Desires RM.

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