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Mbgdallas

Love and swinging

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Been thinking about this and wanted to hear others ideas. Would you please share you thoughts?

 

What is love and what does it mean. Not brother/sister/parent/child love but spouse/significant other/mate/BF/GF type of love?

 

Has does love fit into the lifestyle?

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My quick way of saying it is love doesn't mean they will be there when times are good for romantic dinners, fun vacations, or whatever; it's that they will be there to take care of you when you are sick, when everything is crashing down around you in life, or whatever other most miserable of times you can think of.

 

Love's place in swinging to me means you love them enough to give them the freedom to enjoy things they otherwise couldn't, and you take joy in seeing them enjoy those things, aka compersion. It means you don't allow yourselves to be constrained by others who equate love and monogamy just because that's the societal norm; your definition of love is the only one that matters. You do these things without worry, because you know the love is mutual.

 

I won't go into poly because I don't think that's what you are asking, but in traditional swinging, love of the flavor I think you are speaking of doesn't have a place other than between those two people. There are many powerful emotions besides love though; infatuation and lust for example. Although on could make a good argument they are closely related, I don't consider either of those in the same category of love, but that's not to discount their power, because they can indeed be very powerful. Both of those I think you do see in swinging, and like fire, they are a useful tool as long as they are constrained. They don't have to be there for each and every swinging experience, but they are certainly there in some and their presence can certainly be felt.

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Can you have love, lust, and infatuation at the same time with the same person? What are your thoughts on this?

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I was raised in a strict Catholic household, but now am not religious. Still, some things stay with me, including,

 

"Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy, it does not put on airs, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. So Faith, Hope and Love abide these three; But the Greatest of these is Love."

 

Although I say without hesitation that I love the other man and two other women in our poly family, my husband is the one that personifies the above, most of all by allowing me to love others without asking anything in return.

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My wife fell in love with the first man I talked her into having sex with in front of me. It was a perfect experience for all of us. Their sex together was so satisfying for her that she felt an emotional and physical bond with him. I don't know if love can be explained. She "loved" the feelings he gave her and she "loved" me also. It was as if she had two husbands.

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That's why there are three types of love and being in one type of love doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the other two:

 

1) Eros love - known as "erotic love". Mostly has to do with the physical or sexual attraction.

 

2) Philos Love - a unique kind of love like the one you have for a companion or pal. It refers to loving one another just like your brother or sister.

 

3) Agape love - unconditional love

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My wife fell in love with the first man I talked her into having sex with in front of me. It was a perfect experience for all of us. Their sex together was so satisfying for her that she felt an emotional and physical bond with him. I don't know if love can be explained. She "loved" the feelings he gave her and she "loved" me also. It was as if she had two husbands.

 

How did it play out? For us emotional attachments when they occurred along with the physical have not been problems. They either play themselves out or formed a wonderful long term relationship. It has never diminished the love between my husband and I, however.

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