Swingers Advice on Sending out Pics

What is it with all these people who don't want to chat/email/get to know one another without a pic? I won't send out a pic unless I know who will be getting it, you never know where it may end up! How can you best handle them without totally turning them off? I've tried being polite.

Well you have 2 options there... either they aren't the kind of people your gonna want to swing with anyways because they are picture collectors or just interested in looks....

Or send out a simple clean pic of you dressed and stop stressing about it Most of the people I have met online I voluntarily send a clean pic with my first email, that way they have a face to go with the thoughts... I like to see who I am talking to as well.

Most of the time, it's people who are new to the net and/or lifestyle that are requesting for pics up front first.

We've had our share of rudeness when we politely explain to them, that we'd like to get to know each other better, before sending out our pics to just anybody. If they can't understand and respect our "rules of the game", then they're probably not for us.

If they are persistent, we politely remind them, that we're not "pushy", and that we expect the same of others as well.

Well, we feel that pics are not necessary if the person or couple is merely going to be friends.... no playing. In this situation, we could care less what they look like. After all, friendship is about hearts and minds, anyhow.

BUT.... If these people are planning on having intimate, face-to-face relationships, we DEFINITELY want to know beyond a shadow of a doubt what they look like. I'm sorry, but there's no way that either of us are going to have sexual relations with anyone if we are repulsed by their appearance!! A simple fully-clothed, G-rated pic is all that's necessary, but hopefully it's a good clear photo. We got burned once by a couple that refused to give us any pics, and it will never happen again!!!

What would you do in such a situation? And be very truthful, too.... would a husband want his wife going at it with someone that she doesn't find at all exciting, attractive, or worse??? Or the same, vice-versa?

W wont exchange pics on the first email or chat..we want to talk a bit and see if these people hold our interest. If not then we realize they aren't for us..I no longer will post any pics and now I am very paranoid about sending them..had a pic collector send one of MY pics to a friends of ours claiming it was his wife and she recognized the shot and informed us about it..so we have gotten a little cautious.

So far the best couple we met was introduced to us by someone else. The man is not a man I would have considered from a pic but after talking with them it didn't really matter at all(not that he was bad looking just not my type at all) and frankly both Jeff and I are totally comfortable with him ( yes your man has some say in what he will allow to some degree...) and would not mind paying with them in the future...hopeful at this point..I like a man who can converse...and he meets that criteria!

I agree with stratecpl 100% here. Being friends is fine and good but if I am not attracted to someone I don't want to get naked with them. Lets be honest here swinging is about friendship but its also about sex. Now if you don't want to give out your picture because of fear of who is on the other end I can understand but so far the few who have refused to send pictures at first were either very unattractive to us (and most people) or seemed to have issues we didn't want to get involved in.

Some people take offense at this in swinging as if somehow looks shouldn't matter, and if to them they don't that's fine, but this is about what we like too. Just because we wouldn't swing with an ugly couple doesn't mean we hate them in some way, we just don't want to have sex with them.

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Originally posted by Stratecpl:

....What would you do in such a situation? And be very truthful, too.... would a husband want his wife going at it with someone that she doesn't find at all exciting, attractive, or worse??? Or the same, vice-versa?

We BOTH would have to agree with whomever we choose to swing with. If hubby or I don't feel comfortable with the male or female of the other couple(s)/singles, then it's a "no-go" as far as swinging with them is concerned, but we can still be friends with them. Friendship first, and if the chemistry is right, then we'd take things a little further, one step at a time.

We've found (so far), that everyone we've met in person from online, is better looking than their pics! If we plan to meet with these people for the first time in person, then we'll request for pics, and visa-versa, since we need to know who we're looking for at our meeting locations.

Physical attraction, as well as mentally/intelligence/humorous wise, is just as important to us when it cums down to playing with another couple/single. We don't settle for anything less, why should anyone else? We're very selective, and expect others to be as well...

We've met couples without seeing pics first and sometimes it works out ok, sometimes we meet them and know that there is no way we could be involved with them sexually (or even as friends.. because we just don't hit it off), but the same thing can happen with pics.

As far as sending pics out, we stick to strictly clothed pics (we also have a small webpage set up with a few pics of our own that we send people to to avoid having to send out pics every time), but as far as 'naughty' pics, we won't send those out until after we have met the couple and are considering playing with them.

We usually do ask if the couple (or single) has pics to share so that we can see what they look like (since we always provide a pic), but if they don't it's no big deal, we'll continue to talk to them and if things click we do our best to meet them.

But all in all you do have to be attracted to a person to play with them, and pic or not that might not happen when you meet them.

Julie,

I couldn't agree more!! Where we live, it's a long ways for ANYONE to travel. If they get here and we realize we don't all feel comfortable together, then there's some folks who might be unhappy on their return trip home!! Therefore, we always try to make sure what they look like. Several different pictures are very nice. Clothed ones, yes. The nude ones are always nice to see but definitely not necessary because it leaves more for our adventurous spirits to find out....

Of course, we correspond with them by e-mail or on the telephone, and we are fairly sure of our feelings towards them, and of theirs towards us. If there's no impending urgency involved in getting intimate, then that's even better. We all visit, talk lots of big talk, laugh, have a few drinks, and really get to KNOW them. That's something that many have either forgotten to do, or else it's just unimportant to them.

Maybe some folks just enjoy the "Wham, Bam, Thank you, Maam" routine.... we don't. We like to think that each person or couple will be a return guest, whether for hot times and great sex or just to have a blast and act foolish, just hanging out in general.

Once you get to know someone, then it's a lot more laid-back and natural feeling involved. Hell, now I wish we had someone coming tonight..... LOL

For those of you who are hard-core idealists, my apologies in advance.

Personally, I think anybody who says that looks don't matter is totally out of their mind. Unless you are actually physically blind, it is natural for us to be attracted to people because of their physical characteristics. I set this as my premise.

Now, as far as bulletin boards/chats/attempting to find mates/swingers/whatever goes, I totally understand people who want pictures FIRST. Now, don't get me wrong, I like making non-sexual friends and all, but chances are that's NOT our primary purpose in looking for people in this kind of forum. Thus, our goals here are primarily to find people with whom we can be PHYSICALLY intimate, as well as (for some of us) otherwise. Therefore, it seems natural to me to want to rule out a person/couple immediately by a picture. If you want MORE than a picture, that's great, but the pic is often enough to make a judgment call on, especially a negative judgment call.

That said, I must say that my worst sexual experience ever (i.e., the one I really wish I could forget) was meeting somebody on a bulletin board (this was in the days before Internet, using my ol' 300bps modem on an Apple II), getting into a nasty chat with them, talking on the phone with them, and then arranging a physical get-together late at night without having seen a pic. Oh, my GOD was this lady not attractive. Given the INCREDIBLY erotic phone conversations and emails we'd had, however, I really didn't feel that I could turn around and say "uh, sorry, but YOU UGLY!" At that point, saying no would have said pretty much that, and I didn't feel like smashing her self-confidence to bits, so I made the best of it and now I just try to pretend that that never happened. (I know, I know, we should always feel comfortable saying no, but we don't live in an ideal world, either.)

So, all that said, I totally agree with the folks here who say that you should simply send a clean, clothed, simple photo. If you're not willing to do that, you shouldn't expect the other party to spend (I hate to say waste, that sounds very presumptuous ) their time "getting to know" a person whom they may well not care to get to know.

As always, just my $0.02.

:: grabs his soap box heh heh::

Ok what I look for in a person or people we meet is a connection MENTALLY. A lady can look like Farrah But if she is dumb as a box of rocks, shes still going to be unattractive to me, and on the flip side of that coin, there have been ladies that were not all that lovely at first sight, but after getting to know them, their inner beauty showed through, and turned out to be very attracted to them after all. The pic thing is actually judging a book by its cover.

When we meet other couples, we go some where like a bar or club, and wear a prearranged outfit, so everyone knows what and who to look for, (this is where and why we usually ask for pics) .There have been in the past when we first started swinging, that if we went strictly by pic, we would have never met them, and would have missed out on some real fun and interesting couples. Remember some folks don't take good pics, like me, I am just butt ugly in a pic. But I fair average in person. Am sure some of you who have met me can vouch for that one heh heh

Anyhow, just find a place half way between both couples, and meet and chat, if its still a no go, then oops, may pager went off we got to get back, or a cell call from family. or here's a novel Idea, be honest and say, I'm sorry I don't think its going to work out.

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Originally posted by NewPDXCpl:

Personally, I think anybody who says that looks don't matter is totally out of their mind.

Depends on what specifically you mean by "looks". Physical features? Grooming? Dress? Hygiene?

Sending pictures has limited value. First off, are they really the people authoring the email, or did they lift that picture from somewhere off the vast internet universe? (It happens more than you might care to admit) Even if it is them, perhaps they took the time to get dolled up for the picture, but will show up in rags for a meeting. Yes, it's happened to us.

The only way to verify there IS a couple is to insist on meeting over the phone with all FOUR present. Don't listen to any excuses about how the little woman had to run to the store, or she's too shy to grab the phone. If that's the case, I can't imagine her working up the nerve to take another man inside her, can you?

Many people are very hesitant to send their picture over the web unless they're confident there's a genuine couple into this on the other end. I know we've fallen victim to picture collectors several times, and we've become much more cautious as a result.

If you refuse to take the time to "get to know" someone just because they don't send a picture fast enough to suit you, YOU may be the one losing out in the long run.

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Originally posted by CanadianCouple:

.....Don't listen to any excuses about how the little woman had to run to the store, or she's too shy to grab the phone. If that's the case, I can't imagine her working up the nerve to take another man inside her, can you?

I have to differ with you on this one, Dan...

I'm shy at first no matter where/how we first meet with a new couple or singles, even by phone. But once we get acquainted with each other more, it gets more relaxing & easier from there.

Same as Sex for me with new couples or singles (our first few times playing at least), but "once we get acquainted with each other more, it gets more relaxing & easier from there."

And once I get "started", WATCH OUT!!! *LOL*

Point taken, but many couples, including us, want proof there is actually a couple on the other end. It's too bad it's come to this, but we've been burned more times than we can count.

Just recently about a week and a half ago we had the latest in a long line of "online fugitives". We responded to a new ad from Moncton, about an hour and a half from us. In their late forties, average appearances, complete with a text description of themselves that sounded very compatible to us. We wrote to them, they answered back. Sounded promising. We wrote a second time, letting them know that we always prefer contacting by phone, all four of us. But all in all, a very positive letter from us. One thing they'd said in their letter to us that raised a bit of a red flag, he said his wife enjoys getting nude pictures from others.

Uh huh.

Anyway, we stated in our response that we don't have any nudes on file, and wouldn't feel comfortable sending them if we did. Soooo, we haven't heard back, and it's doubtful we will.

About speaking on the phone, we don't expect the other woman to engage in a long drawn conversation, just saying 'hi' would be enough. Just to confirm her existence and knowledge/willingness to participate in the lifestyle.

I mentioned in another post earlier this PM that we're going to a meet and greet this evening, we'll be leaving in an hour or so from this writing. Wish us luck!

I was just reading the post on pix and was wondering about pic collectors. I don't think I've came across any yet... well, maybe this annoying guy who wants to see pix of me, bf, dog, girl next door, you get the picture. I was just wondering what warning signs are or maybe some experiences.

I usually send out G rated pix but sometimes worry the wrong person will come across them, the risk you have to take, I guess.

As long as you are strictly sending G-rated pics you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

As for signs to look out for... Ads that push for pic trades "your x-rated pic gets mine/ours" (granted this isn't always the case - some people use the philosophy that if someone else is willing to send first then they must be real). Anyone being overly pushy about seeing nude/x-rated pics is probably worth steering clear of.

Cutecouple --

Picture collectors are everywhere on the net. One telltale sign you've been a victim is once you send yours, you never hear from them again. It may be a case of the other couple not liking what they see in you, but they're the minority in my opinion. Some people just get a charge out of getting pics from so-called 'normal' people. (As opposed to professional models.)

Okay, true confession time:

Tom and I have only met people at the Club we go to, not on the Net. But a single Bi-Guy posted on the Club's message board, wanting a couple to show him around his first time.

We answered, exchanged e-mails and he asked for a picture, and sent 2 G-rated of himself. We responded, and sent G-rated of ourselves.

Then he asked for something "more revealing" and said he would respond with some of himself when he got his digital camera set up.

I had one of Tom, slightly revealing (maybe a PG-13 rating) but none of me. .Also, he kept insisting...so Tom mentioned he may be just a pic collector. We had had someone send us a pic they saw on a professional porn website several months ago that looks remarkably like me...but is NOT me. So we sent him that. (yeah, I know, that was SO wrong of us)

We haven't heard from him in weeks now, and he never came to the club on any of the dates we set up, so I guess he WAS just a pic collector. Oh, well! All he has is a pic from a website that's not even me!

We decided then that we would not send anything but G-rated photos to anyone...if they want to see more, they can meet us in person. If not, oh well!

We trade off G-rated pics ONLY, in the beginning, if they insist on seeing a pic. If they get persistent after that, and request for more "revealing" pics, then we ask THEM to send us one first, so we know what type we can send them back. Usually, if they are who they say they are, they'll send us their pic first, then we do the same in return. BUT, that's only after we get to know each other more first, before trading more revealing pics with them.

And usually, if after they've received our G-rated pic, and we're not what they're looking for, as far as "looks", then we don't hear from them again, and that's fine too. That only means that they weren't for us, no biggie. All they got was our "Family" pic...

As for our X-rated pics, there's NO face shots! So again, no biggie....*lol* But we've never ran into any problems, where pic collectors are concerned. We usually tell up front, what they're all about (pic collectors)....LOSERS!

Don't EVER feel pressured into sending ANYone your pics! Chatting and getting to know each other is just as good FIRST! And ONLY then, when you feel comfortable with trading pics, have the other couple or single send theirs first, but be prepared in doing the same in return, it's only fair. Even if they're not quite what you're looking for, if you're more into "looks", you should still return a pic, just as they did with you.

Who knows, they may know another couple that they've met in person, that are looking for a couple or single like you! Another form of "networking"

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Originally posted by CyberMWCouple:

. If they get persistent after that, and request for more "revealing" pics, then we ask THEM to send us one first, so we know what type we can send them back.

You can do that, but remember anyone can send a picture of anyone, not necessarily themselves. We recently "outed" a bogus ad on swappernet, an ad we had initially responded to because they live in Nova Scotia, a neighboring province. The ad contained two pictures, and some weeks later while surfing through ads from the US, imagine my surprise when I saw the SAME picture in an ad from Colorado. I believed the CO ad was legit, since it contained three other pics besides the one in question, and the woman in the other pictures was obviously the same. I wrote Swappernet and the Colorado couple. Swappernet removed the NS ad, and the CO couple wrote and thanked us profusely for letting them know her picture had been used elsewhere.

You just never know over the 'net.

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Originally posted by CyberMWCouple:

.....BUT, that's only after we get to know each other more first, before trading more revealing pics with them...

 

THIS point I've mentioned, is a VERY important one, I might again.

And yes, we remember you mentioning back when, about this situation....We too, met a couple that found THEIR pic on some porno site, it was of the wife (naked pic, no face)! That sucked! And they were steaming!

And like I've said earlier, we've never ran into any problems with "pic collectors", putting out the "fire" asap! It helps to be able to "read" the "syntax" of others fairly well...

We're pretty much a "people persons" kinda couple, and we usually know UP front where others are coming from, and what they're REALLY "like", just from chatting with them in any short period of time given.

The internet is full of picture collectors. It's like a personal challenge to them, to get pics of you and then move on to others. We've had it done to us, too.... I think they enjoy the "hunt" and once they have conquered you (by getting your pics) then they just move on to the next. The lines they feed you, like "My scanner is broke" or "We don't have any good ones yet" or my favorite line, "Send me some and I'll send mine right back."

Naturally, if they like the pics enough, they might even venture to request certain type poses. When you get inquisitive and ask where THEIRS is, they disappear.

Personally, I dislike sending anything EXCEPT a good G-rated pic. If they can't see what you look like by a good full-body G pic, then they don't deserve to see any more. Of course, when you get to know them well, then it's OK to exchange X-rated pics. They just have to gain your respect and trust first.

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Originally posted by Stratecpl:

.....The lines they feed you, like "My scanner is broke" or "We don't have any good ones yet" or my favorite line, "Send me some and I'll send mine right back."

We've heard this excuse (among many others) too! But we just tell them...."That's fine, until you send us YOUR pic, we can wait, no rush. We hate pushy people anyway!"

This usually sends their attention off in some other "victims" direction, and we don't hear from them again! *LOL* I love a good challenge too! Practice makes perfect!

Question?

If you are a couple that only sends pics after the couple you are chatting with sends, but they are also a couple who only sends pics after they have received them, how do you decide who sends first?

Personally I never send pics that I am ashamed of in any manner ( ones I wouldn't mind my grandmother seeing). That way if they get passed around so what..they're good pics.

Hi guys,

Wow! Some story, the one about the Colarado couple! Geez people have way too much time on their hands to be doing crap like that! I think I'll be fairly safe from pic collectors unless of course they are of the g-rated pic collector variety. My bare ass is just something they are gonna have to see in person, not over the internet! These days things like pics can just end up right where you don't want them like the porno sight :S . Thanks for the responses guys, I'll definately be on the lookout for these morons who have nothin better to do!!!!

TNT- I usually send out my g rated pix right from the start, that way, if they like they get back to us, if not... everyone can move on. Physical attraction is very important so I'm not too shy with my g pix... my bare ass, now that's a whole other story.

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Originally posted by TNT:

Question?

 

If you are a couple that only sends pics after the couple you are chatting with sends, but they are also a couple who only sends pics after they have received them, how do you decide who sends first?

After we've gained the trust & honesty by communicating with each other, and getting to know one another better (and visa-versa), only then we may trade pics, and G-rated pics ONLY (much safer).

And sometimes we do send our pics first too, but only if we're comfortable with whoever we're chatting with. It's not itched in stone, who sends first, but if we feel uncomfortable with whoever persists on us sending our pics, then Nobody gets ANY pics if they can't send the trade first (which usually indicates pic collectors)! Simple as that!

Basically, WE don't require any pics when we're chatting with anyone new online! We don't need to see what you look like up front to earn our friendship either! Usually it's the others who request for our pics first! And if they're not comfortable with "trading" pics, then we're in NO rush in receiving or trading pics either, pics can wait.

And it's usually the others that can't stand to chat with someone online without seeing what they look like, so it kills them to carry on any further, and we don't hear from them again. Only the "true" friends stick around, getting to know each other more, until we're all comfortable enough to do any pic trading.

If they don't have the patience in getting to know us better, for who we are, and not just what we look like, then it's their loss, and they're not for us, especially for any "sexual" relationship, that's for sure!

Hi folks! (Many of you knew us as SierraDenali...chose to go with one screen name for both of us) As you know, we're still new and learning and getting to know folks in our area. We're taking it slow. I do have one question…about trading photos: What is the general consensus or does it matter…sending a regular everyday photo or shielding your faces while nude? It seems safe until you get to the photo stage, and we are a bit uncomfortable with it, but at the same time we don’t want to appear as if we’re being rude…any advice?

You will find many different opinions on this subject..best advice I can give is use your own judgement. If you don't feel comfortable sending a pic, then don't.

If you do send a pic out, I would suggest a G-rated, that way should the unthinkable happen and it is a pic collector then what do they have but a pic of a person with clothes on.

We do send pics out, but they are ones that are in good taste, and they only go out once I feel comfortable with the person/persons I am sending them to. And, should I fail in my judgement, and a pic collector does get one, then all they got was a nice pic to look at.

You do what you feel comfortable with. If the person you are chatting with just won't take no for an answer when asking for a pic, then is this really someone you want to associated with anyway?

Hey just reading the old posts that we hadn't read. If anyone needs a pic to send to someone who you are sure is just a pic collector e-mail me with what you want and i will send you some. We have a extensive collection (from news groups and some flashers that we know).

Can someone tell me the point of even bothering to send a r/x-rated picture? You can tell in all cases besides some odd hidden deformaty what someone looks like from a g-rated picture.

We require a picture (which can be faked of course) AND a phone call with both the male and female in it. Its amazing how some real seeming people can never seem to have the woman on the phone.

I always use the same response when someone wants a naughty pic of us. I ask whether they got a naked pic of their wife or girlfriend before they started dating. My wife and I certainly never traded dirty pics before we slept together. It kinda takes the fun out of getting someone naked the first time if you ever do hook up with them.

This response usually gets us past the naked pic thing or the person just disappears because they aren't for real.

Whether you send nude or G rated, most real couples don't are, but if you sheild your faces it annoys people. I say to everyone, unless you're running for president, post full face pics on web ads if you use them. Be proud of your lifestyle, It is you freedom and F those who choose to judge you for making that choice. Excuse my french

It says:

"Don't send out your naked pics to people you don't know. (that's what g-rated pics are for)"

A couple we've met who has a website asking my wife to send pics of herself (semi-nude)and in turn would provide free membership to the website. Initially my wife offered some pics of herself. Later in checking the website out - find out that this webmistress is charging people to view pics posted. Is this right or a rip off?

Any suggestions/advice?

My guess is that not only is it a scam, but would be illegal without the permission of the person in the photograph. One of the hazards in dealing with people you don't know.....or don't know as well as you thought you did.

You didn't say that she was posting pics of other people. So I'm going to assume that the website is just pics of herself. Basically in exchange for seeing your pics she gave you a free pass to a site that she otherwise charges for. Correct?

I see nothing wrong with this. If it's her site she has a right to do that. NOW, if she is in fact posting pics of other people on the site you may have a bit to worry about.

That said, there are a lot of sites out there that are based ons submitted pics. Most webmasters are responsible enough to not post pics without permission. There are a few tho that are not.

As someone who runs an amateur site this is my take on this. When we swing and trade pics with others. We trade pics. I don't send people to my website for the pics. If they want to go to the website and they want to join it that's fine with me but I'm not going to send them there for the pics. One thing that does drive me nuts tho is when people who know that I have a site send me pics and feel the need to state "don't post these". As if I would . I would never post pics of anyone without a) their permission and b) the required paperwork (model release/proof of age/etc).

There are some dishonest people out there but don't assume that just because this person has a paysite with their pictures on it that they are one. In my opinion they did something really nice by giving you full access to the site. That wasn't something they had to do.

Just to clear up a few things:

1. The webmistress does post pics of other people, am assuming with their permission. Also, has pics of own self as well on website too.

2. We've not sent any pics yet. Just felt kinda funny that if to send a pic of my wife is a okay when there is an exchange but to send a pic that someone else is getting paid by others to access to the site and wife not getting anything but a free membership to the website. So we've been been holding off on it. Website is not too bad but not too keen.

I'm still really not seeing what the problem is as long as she isn't posting YOUR pics. If you sent her your pics and she posted them on a site she gets paid for people to access and all you get is a free membership then yes I can kinda understand that. But if you are just sending her pics as an exchange (possible interest in swinging type thing) and instead of her trying to pick out a picture or two to send you she just gives you a password to her paysite so that you can see all of her pics. What's the problem?

Although this was a topic in the archives, many of the members that posted then no longer post regularly. Since we have so many new regular members on the board, I thought this would make a great updated topic.

We will not send out any pictures unsolicited to anyone. For those that we have not become long term intimate with we will not share "X" pics.

If someone requests pictures of us via "internet courting" (for lack of better words) we always send only "G" pics, but then only if we are interested in them.

Recently we had a couple contact us stating that although we were many miles apart, they felt they would like to get to know us better and if we had any "X" pics to swap with them. We wrote them back with a polite note stating that we were not comfortable with sharing pictures of any kind with people that we do not know. Two days later we received a nice long note from them telling us all about themselves with their "X" pic attached to it. Their final sentence was and I quote....

"Why are we willing to send our picture? We feel that at our age you have to be willing to trust others our own age who are in this wonderful lifestyle."

How does everyone else feel about sending and receiving pictures of both types, solicited and unsolicited?

Lori,

How about if one already has nude photos in their profile? If somebody asks me for pics, I still make it habit to ask if they want G-rated or nude if they did not specifically ask for nude pics. Many women will request face shots, but I'm not sure if they necessarily want a full-body nude photo that includes the face, or just a portrait-type face shot. Somebody told me today that women usually want to see what a man's face looks like.

Fred

My personal .02 is that if they push for X they are most likely collectors.

I think most swingers (its a lot easier to type then 'people in the lifestyle') who have been doing it a long time would understand your reluctance with the hit/miss ratio on the internet.

I have to agree with Chicup, if they are pushing for X rated pics, especially if they are too far away for any chance at meeting then most likely they are just out to collect pics.

On the other hand I see no harm in sending out G pics to whoever you may be interested in getting to know better. Again tho that goes back to this couple being too far away for any chance at meeting. Why bother anyway? If they are that far away the only thing you will ever be doing is talking over the internet, so pics should not play that important of a role in my opinion.

I am running into this as we speak. Granted I'm a single male but I still repsect the couples I've met as i see them as my friends. So when I was talking to this couple and they asked for pics I sent my usual G pics (call me crazy but quite possibly they have seen a penis before). If this doesn't suffice for them I usually move on and I can tell this if I get requests for "member confirmation" or action shots. The "member confirmation" folks I screen immediately as they are looking for a dildo not a person.

But getting back to this supposed couple, this person on the other end insists on XXX pics. When I said I don't send them out as not only I but the friends in the pics disagree with that I get a email back saying to blot out their faces and send it. Some people...

I don't know why people do that. It really takes away from the picture itself. Who wants to view a bunch of headless bodies? Why don't they crop the pictures if they want to use them? We have seen hundreds of photos where faces are blocked out. My husband who is a VERY visual person, will skip past those with lightning speed.

I suppose their are many different meanings for the word "x" but for us what we find alluring is the tasteful, sensual photos (I suppose we are more "R" rated kind of people. I couldn't care less about seeing an up close photo of a hoo hoo or a swollen member. It is actually a turn off. I personally prefer to see a clothed body with a facial shot of both males and females, for a "G" pic.

To answer florianudist, when you have nude shots on your profile, these would be ones that you are comfortable sharing with those on that website. Most likely though if you do not have a good facial shot, you are going to get a request for it. Our profile contain a full body "G" photo of the two of us and one (non-facial) upper body of myself that just happened to be one of the best pictures we had ever taken. It shows only enough to make the mind wonder what else there is. The lighting Gods must have been with us for that one.

Probably the absolute best male photo shot that I have seen is of a single man doing some repair work on a wall, clad only in a blue sweat shirt of some kind. He is turning to reveal his face, but with his buns...he didn't need to. It just screams take me! Obviously a lot of women agree with this shot as he is a favorite on one of our other sites. All of his pictures are very tasteful, and I don't think I have ever seen a pic of his nude front side. Damn, just thinking about him gets me going, wonder if he is on this morning?

Lori,

That gives me an idea, maybe at aff & my other Profiles, I should put in 1 or 2 G-rated face shots, such as in my usual jogging attire - Tank top & shorts, and then the rest, full-body nude photos. My G-rated photos are not of the best quality, but I at least look half-way decent in those. I am currently using a full-body nude sunbathing photo as my main photo at aff and one other site.

Most of my frontal nude shots do include my face, but I am either wearing dark sunglasses, or my eyes are closed. It seems a large number of single men, especially gays seem to like to post pics of one small part of their anatomy. I personally NEVER do that.

BTW, I am getting a lot of great ideas from this board!

I forgot to mention that also one good possible rationale for not posting one's facial shots could be to protect one's privacy & anonymity on the internet, then send out face-revealing shots to individuals only upon request. I may not want my sister or an Aunt seeing my smiling face on an adult personals site, although it's extremely unlikely they will ever visit one.

Some people will block out their face with pixilation or a blur, to hide their identity. I have always felt using everyday objects such as hats & dark sunglasses is the best way to achieve this effect and it looks completely natural.

Lori, may I send you 1 or 2 of my G-rated photos for your opinion?

I would not be a good judge of your pictures nor would anyone that has never met you in person. Show them or send them to either one of your family members or friends and let them judge whether or not they present you in the best light.

Only they could give you an accurate opinion.

I don't put much faith in pictures. We have received some that portray an absolutely stunning person, only to find it was ten years old, or that the person is an excellent photographer. A good photographer can make an average person look pretty damn good.

ON the other hand of course some people just don't photograph well or don't know how to use a camera.

When the conversation leads to sparks flying I find the appearance of the person dramatically improves....or is it the beer...

I have rarely decided to meet or not meet anyone based strictly on the picture.

It seems to us that sending a nude photo would attract the exact opposite of the folks we'd want to meet.

Having thought more about this I suppose I may end up sounding somewhat hypocritical.

As the internet becomes more and more a part of our daily lives, you make friends that you chat with, share opinions and develop what is called a "cyber" relationship. Chances are you may never meet them, but yet you continue an ongoing relationship via the computer. This board being an example for one. I would not consider a "G" pic a violation of my preferences should they be sent by someone that we have talked with for a long period of time. It is nice to put an image of someone behind the screen name and helps to bring the distance apart, closer together. I reckon this to be a lot like in the days before computers and you had pen pals.

I had several from around the world growing up, and when the school pics came out we would exchange them every year. It made it seem more real. The main difference though between a pen pal and a cyber pal, is that you had a "real" address and not an e-mail address which is easily changeable at the drop of a hat, therefore you are at a larger risk for deception.