Jump to content
2jersey

Our brief tour through Adult Friend Finder (AFF)

Recommended Posts

Four weeks ago, we decided to join Adult Friend Finder (AFF) for a month to see if there was anything we were missing on SLS. Based on our experience, there are many couples on AFF who aren’t on SLS (and vice versa) – so it was a worthwhile effort. Our membership is expiring soon and we are not going to renew. As we prepare to delete our profile, we have been sorting through our messages and it has made us realize what a horrible experience we have had on AFF. (We have single males blocked, and we have expressed no interest in single females, so our interaction has been solely with couples.)

 

WINKS: We received 48 winks, and we recall having winked back on a few occasions. We also took the initiative to message three couples who winked at us. Not a single one of the couples who winked at us followed up with a message or responded to our message. Winks may be useful for getting people to notice your profile, but they don’t seem to indicate serious intentions.

 

NETWORK OF FRIENDS: We received and declined 12 network invitations. Joining a network allows you to view private photo albums, but many people (including us) don’t have albums. We weren’t interested in viewing photos of the people who sent us invitations. We noticed that some people have very large networks, so there must be a prestige (or ego) factor associated with getting people to join a network. We think the entire concept is ludicrous.

 

INBOX: We received messages from 32 different couples and we responded promptly to each message. We sent polite rejections to 24 couples (a 75% rejection rate), and sent an encouraging message to the other 8. Of the 8 people we encouraged, we heard back from only 4, and the other 4 were never heard from again. :(

 

OUTBOX: We initiated contact with a total of 6 couples – sending a personalized message in each case. One couple wrote us back and told us to “FUCK OFF”, three couples completely ignored us (no reply), and two couples provided a reply with some encouragement. Had we not gotten so many unsolicited messages, we probably would have initiated contact with more people. Our failure to be more proactive may have been our biggest mistake – and one which we probably would rectify if we decided to stick with AFF any longer.

 

FACE PHOTOS: So, in total, we got to the stage of exchanging messages with 6 couples, including the 4 who had initiated contact with us, and 2 for which we initiated contact. We agreed to exchange face photos with each of these six couples and, being the idiots we are, sent our face photos first in each instance. Drum roll please…

 

SCARY FACES?: Of the six couples we sent face photos, we never heard back from 4. In each instance, we followed up after about a week, but still heard nothing. They have our photos, we don’t have theirs, and we were not even afforded the courtesy of a ‘no thank you’. One couple actually complimented our photos and sent us their face photos, as they had promised. Unfortunately, we had to reject this couple based on their appearance (we felt horrible, but it was necessary – and at least we sent them a polite note.) One couple complimented our photos and said they would send theirs when they returned from vacation. They have been home for four days now, and we still have not heard from them. :(

 

BOTTOM LINE: In four weeks on AFF, we have not met a single couple with whom we will have any ongoing relationship. Most people who we encountered were incredibly rude and insincere (could be a New Jersey thing). Many of the bells and whistles on the site are of little or no value (at least to us). The site is cluttered with standard members and it has a very impersonal look and feel. We think the swinger community would be very well served if there was some consolidation between all of the various ad sites – and we won't mind if AFF disappears entirely.

Share this post


Link to post

We started on AFF but had problems such as you guys. We now stick to mostly SLS. there are still some morons on there but for the most part we have had great success on there. Good luck!!! :kissface:

Share this post


Link to post

A couple years ago, I was contacted by a woman on a vanilla site. She asked if I'd like to meet on the riverfront for a drink, and I accepted.

 

It turned out that she was 40 years old, had 6 kids by 3 men, and was currently living with her boyfriend of 10 years. To say that her pics were simply "outdated" would be both an understatement and a kindness. I asked her what the problems were between her and the boyfriend, and she replied... "He don't like sex no more. I even took him to one of them 'swinger clubs,' and he didn't like that, neither"

 

She asked if, by chance, I'd seen her ad on AFF. (I had not)

 

The evening ended with a blow job, after which, I never saw her again.

 

I guess MY "brief tour through Adult Friend Finder" was even briefer than yours.

Share this post


Link to post

Guess what..

AFF ROCKS!

 

AFF is four people who want SEX not soccer moms and backyard BBQs

 

I am all about AFF

 

great site..

Share this post


Link to post
JnCC said:
The evening ended with a blow job, after which, I never saw her again.

 

She had a dick, too?

 

:lol:

 

Sorry - couldn't resist...

 

Sorry that happened to you. I don't envy anyone trying to wade through dating sites - I just wish the odds were better for you.

 

Oddly, the first couple we met was off of AFF. We had a fairly long term friendship with them and since they have moved off, we talk about them often and miss them quite a bit.

 

The other couple we met were good people, but not a couple we were interested in. They were using the site to find vanilla friends ( :confused: ) and we really were looking to explore. Not good chemistry, so we moved on. We've seen them since - oddly we were with a lifestyle couple that we are close to and they were with a couple that apparently they go to hockey games with...

 

We all seem to have found what we were looking for! :)

 

We left AFF mostly because we weren't going to look for friends anymore. At the time, the thought of finding one couple we were close to was good enough - no sense keeping an ad up...

 

Never really had a problem - but we've been pretty lucky with the lifestyle.

 

Your experience is typical of what we hear about the site.

Share this post


Link to post

Hey jerseys,

 

It's been awhile since we tried AFF, and we did meet one couple off of there, but for the most part it seemed like a lot of fakes (esp with the free memberships) and odd people that weren't into actually getting together. Personally, my impression is that there are a lot of married men in vanilla relationships on AFF pretending to be a swing couple....stuff like that.

 

NETWORK OF FRIENDS: We received and declined 12 network invitations. Joining a network allows you to view private photo albums, but many people (including us) don’t have albums. We weren’t interested in viewing photos of the people who sent us invitations. We noticed that some people have very large networks, so there must be a prestige (or ego) factor associated with getting people to join a network. We think the entire concept is ludicrous.

 

This sounds new since the last time we were there. I wouldn't like that, either. It sounds like Yahoo 360, or something. We use Yahoo, but not that 360 network stuff.

Share this post


Link to post
OUTBOX: We initiated contact with a total of 6 couples – sending a personalized message in each case. One couple wrote us back and told us to “FUCK OFF"

 

That's the most incredibly rude thing I've ever heard!!! No clue as to why they'd write something that nasty??? Unreal.

Share this post


Link to post
That's the most incredibly rude thing I've ever heard!!! No clue as to why they'd write something that nasty??? Unreal.

 

We have absolutely no idea. We, of course, had to write back to them:

 

Thank you for your courteous reply. We must compliment you on your articulate choice of words and your accurate spelling and grammar. Have a great day! :)

 

We then blocked them.

Share this post


Link to post

AFF is a site that could be great. So many options for you to do. I do like the idea that they allow more risque shots for your profile but I don't like the way everything is so public. Who's viewing you...etc.

 

It is also the S L O W E S T S I T E I ' V E E V E R S E E N!

 

As far as phonies, we have not responded to some couples because we had a problem with one of them...I guess. Isn't that the way it works? I wish we would write to them but we haven't, so they probably think we're phonies. :lol:

 

Male D

Share this post


Link to post

From AFF, we have met with 4 couples and played with 3. After looking at our inbox, it took 80 emails to find them though (some of those were from multiple emails to all 4 of those that we met with). Worth having info on there but not worth paying for or counting on any action from.

 

We much prefer SLS to AFF. Although we know LL has a stereotype for having “cliquey” and/or “plastic” people, it is probably our favorite site. We have found some very down to earth, fun, and super nice couples on there (they also were pretty easy on the eyes). Just our opinion though.

Share this post


Link to post

I've wanted to try LL, even got a free membership. Fem D seems to be happy with SLS so that's where we are. I made the mistake of signing up for a year of AFF and found that Fem D wondered why I did it? It hasn't got her attention yet. :sad:

 

Male D

Share this post


Link to post
From AFF, we have met with 4 couples and played with 3. After looking at our inbox, it took 80 emails to find them though (some of those were from multiple emails to all 4 of those that we met with). Worth having info on there but not worth paying for or counting on any action from.

 

We much prefer SLS to AFF. Although we know LL has a stereotype for having “cliquey” and/or “plastic” people, it is probably our favorite site. We have found some very down to earth, fun, and super nice couples on there (they also were pretty easy on the eyes). Just our opinion though.

 

 

What is "LL"?

Share this post


Link to post

I used AFF about 5 years ago before they required you to have a membership just to look at a picture. At that time I was a single woman looking for other women/couples. I met a couple that I played with once and found out that they had real relationship problems so I never spoke to/saw them again. I also met a wonderful woman on that site and we actually ended up dating exclusively for 4 months.

 

Since I had had a decent experience with AFF in the past hubby and I tried AFF again earlier this year but that place is such a mess now. It's not couple friendly, that's for damn sure. It's been overtaken by newly divorced men and horny, single twenty-somethings. I prefer SLS to AFF 100%.

Share this post


Link to post

We found my wife's boyfriend and threesome partner at aff 3 years ago. It took a while but it's been a good relationship. We ran ads as a couple and she has run some as a married female. She got lots more mail in the single ad than we did with the couple ad and there are lots of creeps out there but with patience you probably can find who you're looking for. This man has become a good friend to us and she sometimes is alone with him for weekends. We had better luck with guys who didn't post pictures of their dick and usually avoided these people.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest yummycouple

Ran across this post, and have been an AFF member for about a year. We can definitely say that it has been difficult to meet couples from the site, and for the most part they are not sincere people. We get alot of winks and mail, but thats about it.

Share this post


Link to post

When we first entered the lifestyle we posted our first ad on AFF. We actually met allot of people in the swinging community through AFF, although we have played with very few of them. But, it definitely helped get us "in" and thus we met people and from there started getting invited to the parties, etc.

 

We did let our paid profile lapse, however, and have recently removed it altogether. We are now on SLS, Swappernet, and Swingular, which seems to be a very popular site for Utahns since the owner of the site lives here. It's also really slow on some functions, and their forums are not my gig. But overall it's been a good way to meet and keep in touch with people in this area.

 

Our experiences on AFF weren't terrible. There was the overabundance of recently divorced or looking-to-cheat "single" guys thinking that meeting a swinger couple is just like in the porn movies. Every site has these, AFF just seems to have more of them. AFF just didn't seem to suit our purposes anymore.

 

Mr. WS

Share this post


Link to post

I'm on SLS and AFF, and all the problems you mention for AFF I've had on SLS. Of course, thats likely because I'm a single male... ;) But it seems that SLS is better for couples (or 'traditional swingers') while AFF has been better for me (different kind of crowd).

Share this post


Link to post
Guest clem
2jersey said:
Four weeks ago, we decided to join Adult Friend Finder (AFF) for a month to see if there was anything we were missing on SLS.

 

FACE PHOTOS: So, in total, we got to the stage of exchanging messages with 6 couples, including the 4 who had initiated contact with us, and 2 for which we initiated contact. We agreed to exchange face photos with each of these six couples and, being the idiots we are, sent our face photos first in each instance. Drum roll please…

 

SCARY FACES?: One couple actually complimented our photos and sent us their face photos, as they had promised. Unfortunately, we had to reject this couple based on their appearance (we felt horrible, but it was necessary – and at least we sent them a polite note.)

 

BOTTOM LINE: In four weeks on AFF, we have not met a single couple with whom we will have any ongoing relationship. Most people who we encountered were incredibly rude and insincere (could be a New Jersey thing). Many of the bells and whistles on the site are of little or no value (at least to us). The site is cluttered with standard members and it has a very impersonal look and feel.

 

It's all, as you imply in your post, how you use the site. We don't have any stock or financial interest in AFF, but use and enjoy the groups and the webcam features. We're standard members; we've been silver and it can work either way. I met my bride-to-be on there as a single male looking to spank couples. She had used the site for a couple of years as a place to meet single men; it worked/didn't work as it did for both of us before we met. Funny thing, the photo on her profile wasn't her (she had a problem with "how she photographs.") Making a l-o-n-g story short, I drove a couple of hundred miles twice one night when she called me because I said I would, and when she stepped out of that Freightliner, I saw the most beautiful girl in the World (and she'd been 2days on the road!) Scary Faces? Are you talking Freddy meets The Wolfman, or what? I mean, there's only about a dozen or so human facial structures. It could be a New Jersey thing, or the possibility (in your minds) that you'll be persecuted as witches by the NSA, PTA, Knights of Columbus for participating in the Lifestyle or maybe just an ingrained fetish that you exhibit your body without a face, saving the face for last? WTF is that about? Relax a little, pretend you're in California eating papayas and you might be more successful everywhere in the next four weeks.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest clem

Having said all that, I can't get my face photo to show up and replace my danged avatar! Ya' gotta laugh.

Clem

Share this post


Link to post
I met my bride-to-be on there as a single male looking to spank couples. She had used the site for a couple of years as a place to meet single men; it worked/didn't work as it did for both of us before we met. Funny thing, the photo on her profile wasn't her (she had a problem with "how she photographs.") Making a l-o-n-g story short, I drove a couple of hundred miles twice one night when she called me because I said I would, and when she stepped out of that Freightliner, I saw the most beautiful girl in the World (and she'd been 2 days on the road!)
Now THERE'S a love story that would warm the cockles of anybody's heart!

 

Thanks for sharing...

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...