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  1. #1
    Swingers Board Addict Coupleerotic22's Avatar
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    M. Male - MrsCoupleErotic's other half

    Default Do you avoid those that play bareback

    Reading Chicup's post "Reading between the profile lines..." about V-safe being code of bareback play got me thinking.

    If a couple/single admits to playing bareback as an option do you avoid them due to STI concerns even if you only play safe?

    If they allude to it, as described in Chicup's post, do avoid them for the same concerns?

    Do you bail on a couple that states they play safe in their profile, but when you meet, all of a sudden it is optional? What if it becomes optional after getting to know you better?

    We have seen a few couple profiles that say they only play bareback, usually due to latex concerns, but I don't usually buy that, since there are condemns that are latex free. We have seen 2-3 more that just state that is how they prefer to play. And we have meet a good many that state they only play safe in their profile, but bring up that bareback is an option once we meet. The vast majority we have met do not use any protection during oral. So where do YOU draw the line?
    "So let us begin anew - remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness” JFK


  2. #2

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    Very good questions and I had to think for awhile before I came up with something I could articulate. I approach everyone as if they have an STI, whether they do or do not use condoms 100% of the time. I have used condoms and dental dams for oral (it's far more prevalent in the sex-positive/poly/kink communities), but I'm not a fan, so I take the risk of transmission unless I know my partners do have an STI.

    That said, I would, perhaps irrationally, refuse to play with those who say they only play bareback. So, that's my line.
    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. - John Waters

  3. #3

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    You know, we've thought about this for a long time. We don't play all that often, but either way is fine for us. The male isn't allowed to cum in the mrs, and I won't in the female partner. Mrs prefers the male to cum ON her and that is discussed prior to play. Also, mrs fun is a prolific squirter and will soak the bed, couch or whatever area we are playing on.

    Condoms or not, fluids are going to be exchanged one way or the other. Now with the "unknown" person or persons, condoms are a MUST since trusting someone not to cum in the mrs isn't worth the risk.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    We gave up lines. It's easier that way.
    Evel Knievel died of natural causes. Looks like I will too.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    How hot are they?

    That may sound trite but there is something honest in it too. Every profile has pluses and minuses. Bareback play is a minus but if they don't insist on it, its not a deal breaker, just a minus. If enough pluses add up we MIGHT play.

    Honestly this hasn't come up for us, maybe its just the group we hang out with has had condoms drummed into their head since they were a young teen for so long its like seatbelt laws. When they came out my uncles who were in their 20-30's bitched and moaned about it for a long long time. I personally can't be comfortable in a car without a seatbelt on.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicup View Post
    How hot are they?
    That may sound trite but there is something honest in it too. Every profile has pluses and minuses. Bareback play is a minus but if they don't insist on it, its not a deal breaker, just a minus. If enough pluses add up we MIGHT play.
    Agreed. It's one (or maybe two) for the minus column when doing the imaginary arithmetic of sizing up a couple.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    My wife and I were just talking about this today. She is a CMA and does these tests every day. I had read, I thought on here, that some couples require a "certificate" or a "recent test result within a week" from their doctor but what she told me is just what others have said on this forum. Plus, a doctor is not going to "guarantee" someone isn't FREE and CLEAR of any STD. Guess that and then reading this just now answered my questions. Guess we'll wait and play with the one or two couples we trust. Thanks everyone.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    We play safe. We would love to find a couple or 2 that we could play bareback with, but that is a huge trust to put in someone and we haven't met them yet. It would be nice to find them so DD can live out her fantasy of having multiple men cum in her consecutively and enjoy that full feeling. Hopefully someday that will happen but not holding our breath.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    A couple that plays bareback would be a strong NO with us.

    Of course, we would have no way of telling unless they mentioned it, so I'm sure it's already been done.


  10. #10
    Swingers Board Addict Tia Vampire's Avatar
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    Tia Vampire

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    After seeing a couple that I know to have HIV come to a party and almost seduce some of the couples there, I will never go without a condom. Even if me and the couple have played before. No no no. If you're not going to cover it up, then yes I will avoid you like the plague.

  11. #11

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    We would probably avoid "bareback only" couples. As far as others, there is no way to tell. The overwhelming majority of people we have played with, couples and singles, would not have thought twice about going bareback. Nobody has ever brought condoms or went to get one without my wife bringing it up again just as the guy was getting ready to slide in.

  12. #12

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    We have been fortunate that nothing bad has ever happened. Maybe Russian Roulette. Our first time we used absolutely no protection. I wouldn't know what to do with a dental dam. I also have never done oral to a guy wearing a condom. I would say as we have become more active, we have used protection but I would be a liar if I said always.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    We have been on the receiving end of a couple of abrupt bail-outs recently from couples who said they would not play with anyone who had ever played bareback. I made it clear in both cases that we will be happy to use condoms if anybody wants, and also said that we often insist on condom use. But because I admitted that we had gone bareback before (with couples that we knew and trusted), we were unceremoniously dumped at the curb (figuratively speaking).

    Of course anybody is free to have any rules they like, but this particular formulation of "playing safe" strikes me as being not very well thought out. After all, these people were not insisting on the use of condoms or dental dams for oral- so they were apparently OK with some potential exposure to disease. And we were ready to use condoms with them. For a new-to-us couple, we would insist anyway!

    It was hard not to take some slight offense. After all, we wash regularly, eat our vegetables, and are kind to the elderly! I had no idea that having ever gone without the raincoat would forever mark us as unclean.

  14. #14
    Ready2dewit
    Guest Ready2dewit's Avatar

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    this topic seems to come up all the time. My take is that there are risks in this lifestyle, just like there are risks in motorcycling, skydiving, skiing, or any other activity that has a tendency to punish carelessness. You have to be comfortable with mitigating the risks involved. If you are constantly on the lookout for whatever bad can happen, what is the fun?

    If a couple is sober, seems to be intelligent and capable of using judgement, and doesn't play with everyone who sends them a message on SLS or something, and they are interested in playing bareback, I'm OK with it. It adds to the experience for a lot of people. I'm pretty low-circulation, and seek those who are as well. I find that in most cases, I tend to become a "regular" with couples because it is easier to do the repeat performance than to constantly find new people. So it's their call.

    30 day test? Doesn't mean that they didn't play last night. And there are bugs that make it through no matter how much latex is involved. Boils down to judgement and personal comfort. No way is right or wrong, and people shouldn't be shunned based on what they do in that regard.

  15. #15

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    We always do bareback. My wife can't get pregnant. Our/my instincts have worked well so far. I don't mean any disrespect but I/we choose our playmates carefully. My wife loves the feeling of a naked cock in her and loves him cumming in her and I love watching it.

  16. #16

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    I love both...but bareback is better

  17. #17

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    We play bareback with some and require condoms or other protection with others. First timers are always with condoms. We do tell people that we play bareback on occasion and I actually can think of only one instance when a couple declined to play with us because of it. On the other hand, we get plenty of requests from others to go bareback. Some just conveniently not put on a condom until I tell them to, and I had more than a few guys in mfm situations who asked if they could slip it in without a condom for a few strokes.

    We don't draw lines but I think it's a judgment call with each situation, and we haven't had any problems so far.


  18. #18
    Ready2dewit
    Guest Ready2dewit's Avatar

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    Quote Originally Posted by asncpl View Post
    We play bareback with some and require condoms or other protection with others. First timers are always with condoms. We do tell people that we play bareback on occasion and I actually can think of only one instance when a couple declined to play with us because of it. On the other hand, we get plenty of requests from others to go bareback. Some just conveniently not put on a condom until I tell them to, and I had more than a few guys in mfm situations who asked if they could slip it in without a condom for a few strokes.

    We don't draw lines but I think it's a judgment call with each situation, and we haven't had any problems so far.
    This sounds reasonable, I can't imagine waiting until the "moment of truth" to have the discussion, but you have to use judgement when it comes to who you want to play with, bareback/condoms is just another extension of that.

  19. #19

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    If we pick a guy up at a far for MFM or if we meet up with another couple(s) at a local swingers club, we require condoms. In the MFM situation, hubby wears one two just so everything appears to be equal. In other situations where we have linked up with a friend or acquaintance, we haven't used them. A couple of times I have required the guy wear one for me to give him oral sex. The problem is, if there is one, that during oral sex when I usually don't require them to wear one, well, I get excited and tend to enjoy sucking so much that I end up being a suck and swallow girl.

    However, as an example of the exceptions that can occur, our second MFM, we met at guy at a resort bar. He was a young businessman, a father, married, there on a golf/fishing trip. He and his 4 buddies were trying to pick up two younger girls at the bar but came over and started talking to us at the bar and then went to the hot tub with us. Back in the room that night, he goes down on me for the longest time while I suck hubby, he gets me to orgasm, climbs on me bareback and pounds it to me as I like. He then tells us that he is cumming, where should he put it. I look at hubby and pat my tummy. This is new for us, I can't get pregnant, hubby has a vas, I'm use to him just cumming inside me. So the guy spews on my tummy. I kiss him passionately, stroke his dick which is still spewing and go down and suck the rest out of him. How do you give up that spontaneity in the heat of passion?

  20. #20

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    As a bi guy, it's a MUST to wear protection until trust and honesty is established....at which point, I LOVE barebacking.
    " A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part". -R. Foxx

  21. #21
    Think I'll Stay edtungsten5858's Avatar
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    unmarried couple, swing buds only

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    Much like M1F2KTJ above, we only play bareback and say so ahead of time. Amy can not get pregnant (congenital) and I have a vasectomy. She loves a bare cock cumming in any hole and relishes having semen in her body. In a little twist from other stories here, we/she has been put off when a guy starts to use a condom despite our clear communication and prior agreement to the contrary. We call it quits at that point for the lie and wasting our time and money (room, gas). We have attended house parties in which no one used or mentioned condoms :-)

  22. #22

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    I will not avoid a couple for playing bareback but if they are playing w people I believe are high risk then I will not play with them. Had a couple experiences of people playing w people that admitted to having HSV because the didn't believe they would catch it unless the infected person had an outbreak. I think that is a very selfish mindset to have in this lifestyle.

  23. #23

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    HSV and HPV are so common that I find bareback to be a risky choice unless you are playing in a closed, tested group. Even with condom usage, HSV and HPV are transmittable. You pick your cards, you take your chances.

  24. #24

    Default Re: Do you avoid those that play bareback

    One of the reasons we are a closed poly family is because we all love bareback, but want to avoid the risks. We have talked about opening up and playing, but haven't gone there, at least not yet.

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