I have phone call rules: don't start talking on the phone regularly until AFTER you meet. Exchange digits the day you are supposed to meet or night before, then only call sparingly if needed to reschedule.
I started this rule form online dating. So many times, guys would want to call, get to know me, make up an illusion of who I am and then get all mad at me when we meet because I'm different on the phone then in person. WTF? Basically people start forming a mental image of who you are and bond with that instead of who you really are, then once you meet in person they are let down. Very much like people who try to act out a fantasy are disappointed in reality. To counter this problem, I came up with the no phone relationships prior to in person relationships.
What I was not aware of is some swingers have the two emails send a phone number to verify she is real rule which conflicts with my, don't talk on the phone too early rule. If you use this, do you ask for her to call, or do you just send out the phone number?
Often after much prodding and people emailing that it was rude of us not to call when they sent their number I will call them. Often the phone calls are awkward or it goes into immediate sex talk. It's rude to assume that even though we've never met, I want to talk sex with you. Call a phone sex hotline instead please. If we meet, and we click, yes, then we can talk on the phone flirt and have some sex talk. Even then if we haven't played yet, I don't want to get into to many details (fantasy vs reality let down problems could occur) when it comes to talking sex on the phone. I've become quite disgusted with a few husbands that I've never met chatting on IM sex talk (graphic details) or talking about them on the phone. I feel like I'm chatting with a horny teenager who hasn't learned how to handle his sexuality.
I find I'm battling peoples desire to have phone relationships prior to meeting with my desire to not start one prior to meeting. How do you handle the phone call rules when it comes to people you are interested and have only seen their online profile?