View Poll Results: How was your first experience?

165. You may not vote on this poll
  • Good

    90 54.55%
  • Bad

    20 12.12%
  • ok (not really good or bad)/ haven't had first experience yet

    55 33.33%
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 31
  1. #1

    Default First Experience - Good or Bad?

    How was your first experience was it good or was it bad?

    If it was bad, what caused it? If it was good, what did you do in advance to help make it that way?
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  2. #2

    Default Our First

    The first couple we met for swinging, we met online and made arrangements to meet them halfway (about 40 minutes or so from each of us) for dinner and then we were going to split a hotel room (first bad choice). Dinner seemed ok, but since we had already made hotel arrangements we felt a little pressured to move things along even tho we probably shouldn't have (there really wasn't that connection).

    We attempted to play and both of the guys ended up having some problems getting/keeping it up. We hadn't really discussed our prefs/boundaries ahead of time and that caused some friction as well.

    The next morning we basically went our separate ways... but the story does have a happy ending. A few years later we ran into this same couple via another common interest. We discovered that we'd all grown a lot and we got to be really good friends and even managed to play a few times together.
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  3. #3


    Our first experience we met an experienced couple through a pay site and we all decided to meet for drinks and then attend a group social together that was being held in a downtown hotel. The couple was fun, but the social was for the birds. The people were rude and left us feeling very unwelcome. We ended renting a room in the same hotel and playing quarters. First for drinks and eventually for articles of clothing. We were all having a great time and ended up on one bed with our own partners, with a little cross play going on as well. It was a great time, but then hubby starting having trouble keeping an erection. I think the combination of the alcohol (which will do that to him in a regular encounter) and the first time jitters. The other couple was really great about it, but hubby was pretty humiliated and we soon left. We still chat with them from time to time, but they have withdrawn from the lifestyle for a little while and they live a few hours away so we haven't been able to try again with them. We try to be very careful about how we play now...little alcohol,and I try to make sure hubby is completely comfortable before we begin anything.
    I put the "grrrr" in swinger baby, yeah!

    --Austin Powers

  4. #4

    Thumbs down

    Our 1st try was a MMF... he was polite, interesting and attractive...He just couldn't get an erection and while we tried to make him cofortable and reassure him it happened on more often that he thought he still was really upset. She became upset AFTER her left and thought it was something to do with her...

    It was just too much too fast...

    Poor guy, like shooting pool with a piece of rope!

  5. #5


    Our first experience was not a good one. We met at a club and decided to meet for dinner the following weekend. All four of us were new to swinging, and there were no rules or boundaries set up at all! We jumped right into playing and things moved way too fast for my comfort level, but I didn't speak up for fear of hurting anyone's feelings. The other gal tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend without a condom, and complained to him about being frustrated when he wanted to slow down. I was not attracted enough to the other guy to want to go that far, so after a while we felt like the 2 of us were just sitting around watching the other 2. I had hoped all 4 of us could play together, but it turned out that the other couple had been fighting, so they were trying to avoid each other. We managed to end the night gracefully, somehow, but learned a few lessons there.

  6. #6


    Our first was actually very good in the sense that they were sensitive to the fact that we were new. We had chatted for a while via online and phone, but never told them until the day we actually met that we were new. (Bad mistake there folks...always let them know.) We spent most of the day visiting art museums and the Air Force museum, getting to know each other. We planned to meet for dinner and at dinner was when they asked how long we had been in the lifestyle. (We must have given the appearance of having been in it for a while.) We let them know that they would be our first and their moods sort of shifted. From there on out they were real cautious in their approach to us.

    After much talking through dinner, they suggested that we go to a club that they like to frequent when they are in town and we agreed. The night ended with us going back to their motel and playing around some, but actual intercorse only occured between my hubby and the other woman. My shyness and I'm sure my fear made the hubby of the other couple very leery.

    End result, we have met with this couple about 1/2 dozen times, either going to their neck of the woods or them coming to ours and we have a great swinging relationship with them now.
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  7. #7

    Default Re: First Experience - Good or Bad?

    Originally posted by JustAskJulie
    How was your first experience was it good or was it bad?

    If it was bad, what caused it? If it was good, what did you do in advance to help make it that way?
    We had known this couple for a long time before we actually started swinging, and to me that made it all the better we already were comfortable with each other and nobody was nervous.

  8. #8

    Default Good nor Bad

    I would have to say our first experience was a learning one and a stepping stone into the lifestyle. We met this couple, whom which we had had dinner and many conversations with, at their hotel. After having gone out to eat and stoppiog to pick up some refresments we went back to their hotel to start with some icebreakers. The woman ended up together as well as well as myself with the other couples wife. But it turns out he was having difficulty getting sparky to rise to the occasion. Turns out they had been visiting some of the local sites before we met that day and already enjoyed themselves in public. That left the misses feeling like she had missed out . At that point I promised her if she wanted to try swinging again I wouldn't try stopping her.
    "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
    - Tom Clancy

  9. #9


    Our first experience was a goody. Subsequent experiences have been better, but the first was still good. The people we chose to share it with were newbies like us, but they were sassy, knew what they wanted, and knew well in advance what their and our limits were.

    What did we do to make it good? Communicated. The four of us talked lots, in person and via emails/messenger. By the time of the meeting, there were four people in the room who literally begging for it!!

  10. #10

    Default Our first experience

    Our first experience was the best. However, we learned from that to know each other boundaries.

  11. #11


    It was horrible!! We had a ffm realtionship for about 6 months and after that was over, thought we might try a club and expand our boundries. We walked in the door and ran in to a couple I knew. I was very antsy as the last thing we wanted to do was run in to people we knew. Then I spilled a drink on my wife-she was wearing all white and I was drinking red wine. We were the youngest people in attendance and must have looked like fresh meat to all the old gappers. There was a woman at least 20 years my senior rubbing my chest while the couple sitting across the table from us were busy drooling over my wife. We hit the hottub and I knew right away the general was never going to stand at attention. I was nervous as hell but she was a champ and did her best to make me fell comfy, but alas to no avail. The crowd was lining up to take a shot at us and we beat feet it to a private room and were promptly followed by two other couples. A puanchy, balding, middle aged man was making a move on my wife and after a look from her that said nothing but "Ewww", we decided to call it a night. Of course when we got home we hit the sheets like a couple of rabbits. Go figure...

  12. #12


    Originally posted by autumn528
    after a look from her that said nothing but "Ewww", we decided to call it a night. Of course when we got home we hit the sheets like a couple of rabbits. Go figure...

    I think that you win first prize for the worst possible night! I hope that things go better for you in the future!
    I put the "grrrr" in swinger baby, yeah!

    --Austin Powers

  13. #13


    Our first experience..... at least Maggies first experience. Was great! Abd involved not one couple, but two couples

    Sorry I was already in the lifestyle, a long time before meeting her LOL. My first sucked But that was a long time ago.

    We actually look forward to having more than 4 people in the room now days.
    Phonies and Fakes Need not apply. We're as real as it gets, and don't have time to be wasting on dumbasses.

  14. #14


    Originally posted by autumn528
    A puanchy, balding, middle aged man was making a move on my wife and after a look from her that said nothing but "Ewww", we decided to call it a night. Of course when we got home we hit the sheets like a couple of rabbits. Go figure...
    I'm with Roxy, you definitely get first prize! I'm curious though, how old are you when you are considered an "old gapper"?

    Well, maybe not not laughing too hard....I may be an "old gapper"!
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  15. #15


    Age really wasn't the problem. Although most of the club consisted of people in their 50's. It was just disturbing to see naked men looking like they were wearing fur coats and having sex w/ people who looked like we should've been throwing 'em back in the water. Here's the funny thing: We figured it was just a bad night at the club-after all they must have both good and bad nights. Soooo, we went back a month later and it turned out that the first night we were there WAS a good night.

  16. #16
    Guest Willbfun's Avatar


    Our first time was with friends we had known since h.s. We had boated, camped, played softball & volleyball and had been good friends for years. One evening after dancing and a few drinks, we ended up back at their house. Before the night was over we had full swing, and wife had her first passive bi experience. Wife and I had been married about 10 years and we had never discussed the idea.

    Later in the evening they revealed that they had done it with other couples, most whom we knew. We had no idea. I guess we were kinda naive.

    We live in a small community, and decided not to meet with that couple again, for fear of gossip. They were very understanding and never pushed the issue. We still see them from time to time, but no swinging.

    Wife thought the other lady was too agressive, and told me I could have backed off. I reminded her that she never backed off, when she went down on her. We kinda laughed about it later.

  17. #17


    First off, hello to everyone. I'm not too new here (been reading posts since Feb.) I finally decided to reply My husband and I just had our first experience recently. It was good but not outstanding. After several months on a pay site and a few meetings that didn't pan out: we finally got up the nerve and asked a mutual friend. We felt that she was attracted to both of us, asked if she'd be interested and she said yes. The first time we got together we were all kind of nervous and were just mainly getting the hang of keeping everyone involved. Last weekend we met with her again for the second time and things were much more relaxed - no one felt left out. I must admit watching hubby with someone else for the first time was kind of strange (a mix of emotions: erotic but wierd). However, the second go 'round seemed much more natural. She and I really get along well, we have a lot in common and she is a wonderful lady so that bond really helped us talk to through the awkwardness...

  18. #18

    Default Great

    My first time was great. My husband and I talked to the couple alot via email and exchanged pics, then agreed to meet. WE played strip poker and ended up swapping partners and ended up being my first experience with another woman(which was great i loved it). When we got home we still had enough energy to have a great lovemakeing session of our own.
    Life is full of magick all we have to do is look arround.

  19. #19

    Default Re: First Experience - Good or Bad?

    Thought I would bump this up and see if we could get some of our newer members (or not so new but just haven't posted to this thread members) to tell us about their first times.
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  20. #20
    Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty's Avatar

    Default Mr here

    Our first experience was VERY good. But we didn't consider ourselves swingers yet (Mostly becuse the term never crossed our mind).

    We had a soft MFM with a friend of ours and we found it incredibly wild & hot.

    It was over a year before we tried it again and that time was pretty good to. Although not quite as fun because he was pretty hammered, but it wasn't his fault. He didn't know what was coming and neither did we till nights end.

    But it was after that we decided to become "Active" and looked into the swinger world.

    We did some experimenting in the first year (This past year) to find what turned us on the most and where we got the most fullfillment & enjoyment out of swinging. We found it to be what got us into the swinging in the first place. MFMs. facelick

  21. #21

    Default Re: First Experience - Good or Bad?

    oh well, i would like to share mine. It was a bad one

    I have a freind who is really good in swinging as he have participated in many swinging/groupies before and he gladly invited me to go for a swingers party last year. It was a married couple we meet on the chat room, he managed to chat wt them arranged a meeting . So i managed to rope in a single girl whose seeking fun and of course two of us. So in total five of us decided to meet up in a place. we travelled few hundred miles and end up missing the whole meeting due to some bad miscommunications and arrived a bit late. Bearing in mind tht was our first meeting , we decided to persuade them to atleast meet up for a drinks but they refused to turn up. It was a bad day for me and my friend as we spend half a day travelling just to meet em up. So bad communication played a factor here. This teached me and my friend a lesson to be carefull in communicating with the people who we are going to meet.

    This year i haven't found any luck yet, but i hope i will find someone very soon .

  22. #22

    Default Re: First Experience - Good or Bad?

    Our first time actually doing more than just surfing internet ads was not a consummated swinging event. Don't know if that counts, but I feel that that was our first attempt at swinging. We made several mistakes. The only mistake we didn't make, I think, was to come up with a keyword to each let the other know "We're bailing. Now."

    Our first mistakes were to agree to meet a couple at their house(#1)...for dinner (#2)...with their kids at home (#3). We had no idea how to weed through ads like we do now, and we ended up meeting a couple without seeing pictures of both of them, and not figuring in how important the stability of their relationship is. Nowadays, we simply won't play with a couple whose relationship isn't up to the challenge; we feel it's unethical and irresponsible. But anyway, we had dinner and it just wasn't clicking physically. The other husband was very disrespectful towards his wife, and her attitude wasn't much better ("If he's going to fuck around on me the least he can do is bring it home so I can get some fun out of it."). The interest on their part was very one-sided, and it came across to us that he didn't give much thought to his wife's pleasure, enjoyment or comfort level in the situation, so long as he got what he was after. So we bailed.
    We were all newbies once. We all make mistakes.

    Our first actual experience was great, but we stuck to soft swing. They were a more experienced couple and were awesome about the whole thing. Our first full swap was also terrific! We had a blast.
    Fear is a symptom of ignorance. Knowledge is the cure.

  23. #23

    Default Re: First Experience - Good or Bad?

    The first meeting with a couple was a disaster. In person they were drastically different from how they came across through phone calls after initial email contact. Went home disappointed.
    The next couple was GREAT and introduced us to a great group of friends.

  24. #24

    Default Re: First Experience - Good or Bad?

    Our first exp was a soft swing situation with a male friend. This was hot. This led to an all out mfm which was the best. the both of learned to enjoy that situation (with that person) and still do to this day. That was 7 yrs ago. and he is still our friend.

  25. #25

    Default first experience

    hi everybody. this is the first time we are actually posyting something on this site. our first experience was real mindblowing one reason could be that we played with a couple aho are actually very close friends. we have spent so much of time together that getting naughty was a matter of fact. we had discussed this thing between the four of us so many times that we never felt as first timers. we are looking forward to extend oue horizons. we promise to keep u guys posted.

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast



Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
About us
The Swingers Board is an online swinging community with something for everyone. Experienced swingers and those just curious about the swinging lifestyle are all welcome. We invite you to participate in the discussion forums, member blogs, swinger stories, member photo galleries, swinger club listings and reviews, and all other areas of the site.

This site is run by a real swinger couple with the assistance of a great team of forum moderators who are also swingers. This site is free, and membership is open to all legal adults. While guests are able to view much of the site, registering will allow you access to all areas and full privileges.

Safe, sane, funny, smart, sexy - become a member and experience the Swingers Board!

SwingLifeStyle Where REAL Swingers Meet

SwingTowns - It's Different @swingTowns

SDC SwingersDateClub for couples

SwingingLocal Free Local Swingers Profiles

Kasidie Sexually social

Adult FriendFinder Find Adult Sex and Friends

Wicked Temptations Wickedly Sexy Clothing

Swingers Board
Subscribe to our newsletter!