View Poll Results: Do you swing with single males?

526. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes, we swing EXCLUSIVELY with single males

    71 13.50%
  • No, we have no desire to swing with single males

    88 16.73%
  • We don't currently, but we have considered/ are considering adding them

    97 18.44%
  • Yes, we swing with single males as well as couples

    270 51.33%
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Results 1 to 25 of 97
  1. #1

    Default Do you swing with single males?

    This question is for couples, do you swing with single males? Or are you interested in swinging with single males?
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  2. #2


    We do, it's most of what we do. We have only recently started looking for couples instead of singles. Everything that we used to do was with single guys and girls. Mostly single guys because they are so much easier to talk into threesomes than single girls.

    We would never even consider meeting a guy through the swinger circles though. We only do it with friends. I'm sure that there are some good single guys out there, but it's so hard to tell them apart from the cheaters and fakers that it isn't really worth it when there are so many willing single guys that we already know as friends.

  3. #3


    We too have only thus far played with single men, and for the last several months (well, since spring now that I think about it!) have been talking about and moving toward playing with a couple. (yup, nothing like REALLY talking and exploring and making sure we are ready for it!)

    We have met single men with the express purpose of playing with them; made friends with them and then invited them to join us. And oh boy -- we sure have had to weed through the cheaters and fakers and married men. But have been lucky in finding some really great single guys - the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel I guess.

    R (the female half)
    "Isn't it good ..... Norwegian Wood?"

  4. #4
    Guest MrMuse's Avatar


    This is an interesting thread... It has enlightened me some in realizing how couples feel about me being as "single male." I have to admit, my best success has been with "friends" and being referred to someone. You're right though, I'm sure there is a lot of weeding out that needs to be done before you meet one of these guys (myself included). I'm currently very active in a couple Yahoo groups and have seen a lot of weirdos (WOW! )

    Thanks for the insight!

  5. #5


    We have had several bad experiences with couples and mostly swing with single males. The husband likes to watch and the single men come with no expectations and seem....well almost grateful? I don't mean that to sound like it does.

    We have trouble finding couples that we are both attracted to.

  6. #6


    The first real swap that we took part in ended up with me and the other guy pleasuring my wife after his wife passed out. My wife found that to be the most pleasurable part of the evening because she felt less inhibited without the other girl. I think there were some jealousy issues with the other couple, so when it was just the three of us, Mrs. Sporty seemed to really relax and begin to get into the groove of being attended to by two rather horny guys. We all had a really good time, and because of that, we would probably consider doing something like that again if the right guy came along at the right time. Now don't get me wrong, I really like having another woman there to play with, but I realize that a lot of fun could still be had without the addition of a second woman. Everyone has their fantasies, and I wouldn't want to think that my wife's weren't as important as my own.
    this ain't no dress rehearsal

  7. #7
    Swingers Board Addict Vjklander's Avatar
    Couple, Straight M, BiFem
    SLS Profile

    Default single men

    We share pleasures with men, women, or couples. I'll openly admit to certain voyeuristic tendencies There ... I said it !!!! Come to think of it, I LOVE to watch my girl get fucked. My hunny feels the same way about me, so even with another couple we prefer the same room. Usually the women we play with are bi, which is really nice for us guys to get a breather and just watch the girls go at each other for awhile. I really enjoy having the guys do the girls while the girls are making out. My girl also likes double penetration, so another guy comes in handy ...... *gryn*

  8. #8

    Red face

    We pretty much look for couples, although we've swung--once--with a "swingle" male. In the past, when we've opened our ad up to single males, we've been overwhelmed (especially after we added photos to our ad).

    Then again, there are way too many males who ignore the fact that your ad specifies couples only. They write anyway or represent themselves as couples. In truth, we welcome the idea of a single male, but they always seem to blow it, leaving us with no choice but to say "NO SINGLE MALES." We've even shown up somewhere to meet a couple, and had a cheating husband show up to meet us!

    Our complaints are nothing new, but there are a lot of cheaters or pushy guys: "I'm in town for one night, so I'll be ready to play." There is often a desperate vanity at work too: "I'm such a stud, I'll fuck you like you've never had, baby." Another complaint is that single males totally ignore our male half--it's kind of like they expect to ditch the husband or have Kristen meet them in a hotel room. We've also had some "single" males ask to play with us first, to "check out the goods" so to speak. After that, the cheating husband would ask Kristen to talk his wife into the swinging hobby.

    To compound our aversion to swingles, they often won't take "no" for an eMailed answer. They'll forget they've written and write again in another month; or worse, they'll write back to argue with our "we don't think it would work out" eMail.

    The one single male we played with couldn't get it up. It was a relaxing evening after dinner, a little wine, some hot tubbing, and lots of conversation and massage. We put on a show for him and the Mrs. tried repeatedly to suck him to hardness. We knew from past 4-ways that the Mrs. loves to be with two guys. We'd also known this 30's swingle for a while (who's in excellent shape). He also thought the Mrs. is totally hot, so I don't think we're picking on someone with a health problem. The problem is that after the frustrating close to his evening, he later blamed it on Kristen. He said he'd had no problems getting it on with another couple, but he thought Kristen wasn't excited so it turned him off. The whole evening was her idea! The Mrs. tried everything to kick-start him (and really loves having a couple cocks to play with), so his blame game really pissed us off. We are sensitive to men's sometimes-shy physiology, so we weren't being pushy or hurried.

    Oh well. We suppose if a healthy young male comes along, who respects us as a couple and isn't cheating, then we'll open our bedroom to him. Then again (to any single guys who are reading this), don't take this as encouragement to write.

  9. #9


    Originally posted by M and K
    Oh well. We suppose if a healthy young male comes along, who respects us as a couple and isn't cheating, then we'll open our bedroom to him. Then again (to any single guys who are reading this), don't take this as encouragement to write.
    This is exactly why I don't actively pursue anyone... I let them come to me (which doesn't happen too much obviously with these types of experiences running rampant)... but IMO it's better than getting a ton of rejections or no response at all...

  10. #10


    Originally posted by curious24
    This is exactly why I don't actively pursue anyone... I let them come to me (which doesn't happen too much obviously with these types of experiences running rampant)... but IMO it's better than getting a ton of rejections or no response at all...
    I think you may be on to something here. We have posted in our profiles No Single males and that if we decide to change our minds we will seek them out.

    We too, experienced the same problems as M and K. The notes that we got from single males ranged anywhere from how big their penis was to simply saying "Let's Fuck". It was frustrating to weed through all of the garbage so we finally said no more and blocked them through one of the sites we belong to.

    As a married woman who would love to have a single male included into our bedroom, it is hard to convince the better half that they are not all "dick heads". We have yet to swing with a single male, but have contacted two and met with one of them so far. Both were hand selected via their profiles and how they conduct themselves when conversing. The one we have yet to meet did contact us initially over a year ago, with a very polite note expressing interest. At the time we were too new to even think about a single male and we sent him a polite "thanks but no interest at this time....blah, blah, blah." (This was before we blocked all singles) He responded back, that should we ever change our minds to keep him in mind as he thought we shared a lot of common interests both in and outside of the bedroom.

    It is now a year later and guess what? We contacted him, as we had not forgotten how nice and different he was than the rest that had emailed us. Who knows, it may or may not work out but he left a good impression.

    It is so unfortunate that the bad apples spoil it for the good ones.

    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  11. #11


    Originally posted by OhioCouple
    It is so unfortunate that the bad apples spoil it for the good ones.
    I couldn't agree with you more on that statement!

    But I pretty much have the same attitude as your male friend you didn't talk to for a year... and for me... if it happens great! If not... oh well... I'll survive. I pretty much go in not expecting anything at all... I've found with this attitude it really helps in how rude some of the people out there are towards single males. I understand how they can feel this way... but at the same time it's unfortunate that that the bad apples spoil it for the good ones

  12. #12

    Default re: Do you swing with single males?

    Yes, we do as well. The comments about getting overwhelming mail from SM when your ad says you’re looking for them are so true! It can be just crazy! If we see one more cock shot…. LOL Someone on another forum we frequent posted that they now reply to those kind of photos with, "Hey, that thing in the picture you sent looks like a penis, only smaller."

    After a while we too put up the old, “NO SINGLE MALES” sign on our ad. We still get mail and it’s interesting to see the different approaches. Some are still the crude, stupid, blunt attempts. Other can be a little slyer, like angling in by trying to chat me up about something or other like my photography. LOL

    When she sees someone she likes, she mails him, that is the only way we pick. We have met some nice gentlemen and one in particular was a young man who has taken off as a super stud in the community! LOL It seems everywhere we go people have either met him or played with him.

    What’s the secret to his success? He is polite, charming, and very, very respectful. He knows how to talk to people; he focuses on what you’re saying. All in all, he’s a hell of a nice guy. Since we were the first couple to play with him, my sweetie periodically checks in on him to see how he’s doing. We both are getting a real kick out of his success as a single male swinger. LOL

  13. #13
    Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty's Avatar

    Default Mrs here-

    Everyone knows where we stand on this issue....

  14. #14

    Default re: Do you swing with single males?

    lol Mr&Mrs-naughty!

    We have played with single males. Quite a few times actually. Thats why we are looking for couples (which we have played with before) & single females. (which we have never played with ) We are just interedted in things we haven't done thta much of yet. But I am sure if we ever ran across a good male, we would play with him!

  15. #15

    Default re: Do you swing with single males?

    My hubby and I are just breaking out of our shells here and exploring the lifestyle, but we have both decided that we would start out with a SM experience first. I have been eyeing and lightly flirting with this said person for about a month and just have not gotten the nerve to ask him yet to come on over. I hope I am not reading into his flirtatious actions but we'll see. My hubby and I are first interested in getting to know him a bit first before we give up anything. I guess you can never be too safe right? Even though it is just soo tempting to dive right on in!! Yum!

    Now my next task will be to figure out how to bring it up to him, one small obstacle is that he is deaf...oh but soo hot.

  16. #16
    Life's too short not to... CB_n_Red's Avatar
    Married Couple
    SLS Profile

    Default re: Do you swing with single males?

    Unfortunately the poll leaves out the option that we would tick - we have played with single males in the past but don't at the moment!

  17. #17

    Default re: Do you swing with single males?

    We grabbed a swing virgin about 2 weeks ago. Single male It was fun & funny all at the same time. Can you say "performance" problems. He finally managed to calm down enough to enjoy himself.

    We don't go looking for them, no do we advertise for them. But, we do find a single male/female from time to time. Our preference is to swing with couples.
    Phonies and Fakes Need not apply. We're as real as it gets, and don't have time to be wasting on dumbasses.

  18. #18

    Default re: Do you swing with single males?

    We want to play with them, but haven't yet. Haven't decided which route to take in order to meet them.

  19. #19

    Default re: Do you swing with single males?

    We play with single males, females and couples. All of our experiences have been enjoyable so far.

    We really got to know our playmates before venturing into the bedroom with them. The extra time taken and their willingness to be patient really cemented the fact that they were indeed great people and huge fun to be with in and out of the bedroom. We are comfortable with same room and separate room.
    Ward, I think you were a bit hard on the Beaver last night.

  20. #20

    Default re: Do you swing with single males?

    While we do most of our swinging with a regular group of couples, we do swing with single men once in a while. Jo really loves being the centre of attention in an MFM threesome. When one guy has finished fucking her the other can take over and of course the first guy can be pleasuring her with his tongue while his cock takes a rest! Also as a bisexual guy I especially enjoy MFM threesomes when the other guy is bi too.

  21. #21

    Default re: Do you swing with single males?

    We love MFMs ... so in addition to looking for couples, we occasionally will look for a single male.

    Like most couples, we got tired of all the obnoxious "You're so hot!" and "Look at my penis ... isn't it just great?" emails when we posted we were open to single males. So now, we just say that we are looking for couples. That has helped.

    So now, if we are in the mood for an MFM ... I'll go surfing on the site we belong to and find one I like both the looks and sounds of. Then we'll write him a short note expressing interest. We've had great luck this way; the men we've written have been very nice, respectful, and lots of fun too.

    Now, whenever I marvel at our luck in finding nice single males, my husband always points out it's because I've always had excellent taste in men.

  22. #22

    Default re: Do you swing with single males?

    Two facts. 1) There are more single males out there looking than couples. 2) Some single males are far preferable to some couples. Especially single males who are clean, sane, and understand the rules as opposed to couples who are curious or the wife is reluctant or you add the reason.

  23. #23

    Thumbs up re: Do you swing with single males?

    We started off with a single male but he was a close friend of ours, and it was great but since he got married 3 yrs ago we haven't tried to look. But we are eager to try again .

  24. #24

    Default re: Do you swing with single males?

    We actively seek playmates who enjoy the same flavors we do. Most adventures are with single guys. We enjoy couples and single women as well, but they're harder to find.

  25. #25
    Swingers Board Addict willyoats's Avatar
    experienced but retired couple

    Default re: Do you swing with single males?

    For most of our swinging lifetime, single males were the choice about half of the time. There are several reasons for this. At our club in Indy and at Sun Aura nudist resort, where we lived in the summers for several years, there are many OK singles who want to play. So it was easy.

    We found that it was much more difficult to find another couple where all four of us were equally attracted. Usually, there was one out of the four who didn't quite fit. So that was more difficult that the threesome. It happened again this weekend. I really like the woman. My wife can not connect at any level with the husband. So that relationship is going nowhere.

    We both liked the more uninhibited atmosphere of the threesome. There was none of the anxiety about how my wife was making out, nor did she ever have to wonder if I was having a good time. She was just more relaxed.

    Finally, I liked it because it was a thrill for me to see her having a good time and being the absolute center of attention. There is some inexplicable warm feeling that I get when I watch another guy's cock slide into her. Besides, I happen to like to be the second one in.

    That said, looking back over a hundred encounters, the best times for me were with another woman in a foursome. But only once or twice (that I can remember) was a foursome better for my wife than the best of the times with the singles. There were lots of good times with couples, but for her, the better times were with the singles.

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