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  1. #1

    Default weird conversations with single males.

    The other day a read a "rant" from a single guy saying they get no respect. I found it amusing and unbelievable. I was thinking that he could not possibly the "norm" for the single guys. Hubby and I have been entertaining the idea of a mmmf. We are simplely in the "fantasy/could be reality" phase. I decided to answer a couple of emails from singles. The first one I chatted with (tonite)really threw me for a loop. The chat started like this...nice pics...your really good looking...too bad you don't want to meet me (to which I replied)I didn't say that, right now we're meeting with couples, but are toying with the idea of a mmmf. (his reply)too many guys a like just the mfm thing.(me)well then, we wouldn't be a good match. (him) why.....Ok here's my question. Wasn't why just answered? He then proceed with well I'd really like to meet you but if it has to be on your terms then I guess not. At this point it just seemed a little strange to me, so I replied...I feel like this conversation isn't going well. I thought that I had explained that we we're quiet ready to entertain singles. I'm sorry If I was misleading. Have fun at your party (a swing party he had invited us to)(HIM) you change really quick don't you (ME) what r u talking about (HIM)well you send me an email saying I'm really good looking then you say your not entertaining singles but may be looking for a mmmf I answered saying I only like mfm so you would think maybe we could get together and do that since you think I'm so good looking but you turn and say we're not a good match.
    Is this the weirdest conversation ever or what?! So now I'm feeling bummed, because I would like to make some connections now that could lead to something more, but I'm just too nervous now. Am I in the wrong here or was he "nuts"?

  2. #2

    Default Re: single males.

    Sounds to me like he's the crazy one. You want the mmmf thing, he thinks that's too many m's. And what's with the "if it has to be on your terms then I guess not"? Am I missing something here? Get rid of that guy quick. Plenty of other singles out there willing to accept your terms. Good luck and have fun.

    "When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."

  3. #3
    Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty's Avatar

    Default Mr here

    No, your not nuts.

    A lot of people out there on the ad sites a little weird, but a lot are not.

    We have had SEVERAL chat sessions with single males go the wrong way really quick. As soon as you say something they don't want to hear or don't like they can get down right rude or very offensive.

    We have learned not to sweat it. There are plenty out there that are down to earth but you have to be careful.

    When we are chatting with a single male and he seems to get a little weird or starts giving us an attitude not only do we end the chat session we immediately block him.

    Maybe it's just miscommunication but it doesn't matter. If we get off on the wrong foot that quick then chances are it isn't going to work.

  4. #4

    Default Re: single males.

    Did you ask that guy if he graduated middle school? Cause it sounds like to me he probably dropped out around 7th grade

  5. #5

    Default Re: single males.

    Block him for all the above reasons and more. irregardless of their sex, single or couple, whatever, somebody with those issues is not someone you want to talk to again.
    Why is it we can pleasure ourselves but not tickle ourselves?

  6. #6

    Default Re: single males.

    Sounds like he's just looking to get laid. Interested in himself, not you or your hubbie. Ignore him. There are plenty of us out there that would love to help you reach your goal.

  7. #7

    Default Re: single males.

    Thanks for letting me rant. It's good to hear I'm not the only one thinking he's rude.

  8. #8

    Default Re: single males.

    Relax a little bit and don't take things so hard. That was the first guy you talked to. You will probably have to talk to a dozen or more guys SEVERAL TIMES before you get two guys wiling to meet you and your husband. While I do like a group thing occasionally, it will take a lot more than one email a couple saying she's interested to make me take them seriously, let alone decide to go meet them.

    If it helps, in the future pretend you are trying to convince two single women to join you and your husband. Figure out what you would say to make them not only take you seriously but want to meet you. If he really had an invitation to a swing party, he does have other options, and people willing to work within his desires and limitations. If he doesn't, then he's looking for someone willing to take him seriously.

    I know its hard to imagine single men turning down free sex, but even jerks have a few standards they want met. Usually those standards are little more than a pulse and the ability to move a little, but they do have things they will and will not do.
    "Style is not lusting after someone because they are cool. Style is loving yourself till everyone else does too."


  9. #9
    Checking It Out PaPasion4BiLady's Avatar
    Attractive, Fit Cpl LQQing to meet another BiLady for Friendship & Funtimes

    Post Re: single males.

    It's the Mrs. here ...Even though this is not what we are seeking...I thought everyone would not mind my opinion on this topic....I would stay clear of that guy flamethrow This is a fantasy you & your hubby are looking to explore. Were does he get off saying "I'd really like to meet you but if it has to be on your terms then I guess not."....HELLO!!! It's Your Fantasy, of course it's your terms...he's the single guy....he should be lucky that you took the time to talk with him...& he has the nerve to turn your fantasy around & make it on his terms. This guy is definitely out for his pleasure & his pleasure only. I'm sure you just came across someone that was a real jerk...we all have came across those I'm sure...if you & your hubby want to turn your fantasy into reality...I'm sure through talking with others, you'll know which ones are selfish & out for just themselves....& those that really want to be a part of making your fantasy a mind blowing experience.
    Take care Everyone & Play safe, Bi from the female half PaPasion4BiLady
    Our Yahoo Profile
    Wishing Everyone the Best Of Health & Much Luck In Whatever You Are Seeking In Life,Take care & Play Safe, Bi :kissface:Bye ;)

  10. #10

    Default Re: single males.

    He only does MFM and they were looking for a MMFM but he thought she might think he was good looking enough she and her husband would change their minds to a MFM and maybe even go to a swing party with him.

    That is why I said block'm and move on.

    I agree with ES's post but I was giving the advice I did for the above reasons.
    Why is it we can pleasure ourselves but not tickle ourselves?

  11. #11

    Default Re: single males.

    I don't have any experience with single men other than the board, and so far they have been a pretty amazing bunch of guys.
    I guess it is easy to forget the other person might feel the same as you and they are trying to keep to their own set of rules and live their own fantasy.

    It could be that he is a freak, or it may be that it's hard to get your point across by a computer. But I don't think that all single guys are bad and for the most part I would go into it hping for the best..
    "Well! Evil to some is always good to others." - Jane Austen

  12. #12

    Default Re: single males.

    But shouldn't it also be a fantasy of the single guy before he agrees to it? Or, at least one he is willing to participate in? There's nothing wrong with them chatting then realizing they are seeking different things and moving on, what I thought warranted a blocking was his expectations that the couple change just for his looks. I would give him the same advice if the situation were reveresed.
    Why is it we can pleasure ourselves but not tickle ourselves?

  13. #13

    Default Re: single males.

    grrr...lost the first part of that post. Didn't cut enough when I ran it through word perfect to check the spelling. LOL

    The first paragraph was supposed to say :
    "Well, I would not have anything to do with this guy anymore and just keep looking. He seems a little too uptight and demanding to be open to new ideas. Why would he keep harping on the fact that there are too many men and that your ad said one thing and you said another? Then gets upset that your fantasies aren't in line with his? Forget him. Totally. Don't let him make you hesitant with the next guy."

    I stand by what I wrote after that. You have to remember that nobody has to like you and nobody has to do what you like to do.
    "Style is not lusting after someone because they are cool. Style is loving yourself till everyone else does too."


  14. #14

    Default Re: single males.

    Quote Originally Posted by EternallySingle
    I stand by what I wrote after that. You have to remember that nobody has to like you and nobody has to do what you like to do.

    Sound wisdom to ANYBODY!!!
    Why is it we can pleasure ourselves but not tickle ourselves?

  15. #15

    Default Re: single males.

    That is honestly one thing that bothers us about singles as well.. We get a lot of attitude about how they are doing us a favor, or we're strange to not want to include them in our activities.

    For us, swinging is about expressing and enjoying our desires for each other, as well as experimenting in the wilder side of human sexuality.

    And yet, should we desire a single man or two, or even 3, it's just as easy to go to a nightclub and find them without all the exchanged emails and scheduling times and availability.

    We feel that if we invite a single to join us, we're offering to someone to share in our explorations. How is that doing us a favor?

    Not all are like that, we certainly don't mean to be generalizing things, but enough are to make us see a pattern.

    As far as their fantasies, we'd certainly think that for that person to be participating, it would have to be something they would be interested in doing.

    We do agree with everyone here though. If it starts getting weird, just don't worry about it. Look for the needle in a haystack, you'll find it eventually.
    Reality is based on perception, therefore everyone has their own reality.

  16. #16

    Default Re: single males.

    Dave Kat: I don't think you have to take any attitude off of anybody. I don't think anyone has to take any attitude off of anyone, but that's just me.

    Yes, swinging is about expressing and enjoyoing your desires with each other, your partner, friends, etc. in the wilder side of human sexuality.

    Yes, you can pick up a single man or two or three in a bar. I can go out and pick up a drunk chick and a couple of "cohorts" in any bar any night of the week too. But, I think swinging is exploring your wilder side of sexuality in a reasonably safe enviroment, with like minded people, who I believe will respect boundries, and who keep their mouth shut when the playing is over.

    If you invite a single to join you, They aren't doing you a favor, and don't let them act like it. By the same token, if the couple acts like they are doing the single a favor, that is just as inappropriate and either should be tolerated in the amount of time it takes to say "CYA".

    And, yes it probably seems like looking for a needle in a haystack most of the time for couples. So, shouldn't be any problem to find three of them in a bar any night of the week at the same time, should it??

    No offense meant by this post, just wanted you to see what the richochet sounded like when you fired across the bow.

    edit: In other words, you might have meant something else entirely, but it came off as in one sentence you can just walk into a bar and pick out 2 or 3 guys and in another that it is like looking for a needle in a haystack.
    It goes both ways, these guys that are just looking to screw someone's wife should get off the internet and out of the swingers bars and go to a regular bar cause they are about as full of wives as they are husbands. I thought swinging was more than that. But then, that's just me.
    Why is it we can pleasure ourselves but not tickle ourselves?

  17. #17

    Default Re: single males.

    Curious, where we are it is not difficult. Dave is military, tons of soldier's around. We realize that not everyone has that "advantage?", and in all honesty, even if we did something like that, would we really want kids who do that sort of thing all the time in the barracks to stick around?

    The search is for the quality ones, whatever type you look for online, or wherever you go to meet people with like philosophies.

    Our thoughts on this situation/thread was that the couple was looking for types they are truly compatible with, who might be around more than a one time thing. That is totally different from finding 3 or 4 or how ever many at a nightclub.

    Where we are in the U.S., and what Dave sees daily from single soldiers, young and old, includes having walked into a barracks room where the soldier's are playing videotapes of them doing these things, as well as having to pick soldier's up from jail for trying to beat a husband up because he interfered with them getting it on with his wife. We could go on and on.

    Now we do NOT rate all single men in this fashion. But we DO see this type of behavior in a lot of the emails we get, or conversations we get into.

    Quality people are difficult to find. People with whom you have that click and with whom you desire to have stick around. Those are the ones worth searching for, those proverbial needles in those haystacks.
    Reality is based on perception, therefore everyone has their own reality.

  18. #18

    Default Re: single males.

    Yes, they are and it goes both ways. To find a couple with the same boundries and attitudes as oneself is not always an easy task. Swinging is kind of like health care. There are three things you want in healthcare, quality, convenience, low price. You can any two of those easily but getting all three at one place or providing all three at one place is what gives executives, doctors, and nurse ulcers.

    Looking for other swingers you want quality, convenience, and no time consuming hassles. You can probably get two of those easily, but three??? Gonna be tough.

    I was married for 16 years, that's explained in another post, won't go into it here. But I can tell you this, if I was going to invite three other guys into play with me and my wife (if I had one) I would have to know them pretty well and trust them first. You can't do that "swinging by" the local bar. I work in health care, I have seen what has happened when some girl decided she wanted to do her first MMMF by picking up three strangers at a bar. It ain't pretty. And, I doubt her BF/SO/ whatever being there would have made much difference. There were three of them. That may be one reason I jumped back. My apologies, it just wasn't a pretty sight.
    Why is it we can pleasure ourselves but not tickle ourselves?

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