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Do powered vibrators make it harder for you to cum during sex?

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If I had a sybian, I wouldn't need a man for sex. I loved my experiences with them - but everything is moderation is a good idea for me.

 

I (actually none of us in our three-woman, two-man poly family) have any powered toys. The reason for me is that when I was growing up (early teens) my older sister started using a vibrator, while I used my fingers. When my started fucking guys, she told me that while fucking a guy was more satisfying, it wasn't as intense as her vibrator. After a while, she couldn't orgasm just with a guy having his penis in her vagina anymore, she always had to finish off with her vibrator or a vigorous licking. So I never ventured in the powered toy direction, only using my fingers and sometimes a small dildo when I am away on a business trip.

 

So pardon my getting off on a tangent, but those of you that are users of powered vibrators: does their use make it harder for you to cum when you are just fucking? Thank you.

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So pardon my getting off on a tangent, but those of you that are users of powered vibrators: does their use make it harder for you to cum when you are just fucking? Thank you.

 

Nope. Not at all. Makes me hypersensitive and extremely wound up. And actually the more often I use it, the longer the effects seem to last. Since I got the G-spot orgasm thing figured out, it's been all good, whether it a toy or the real thing. The "power tools" just add an intensity that's hard to duplicate with biological parts.

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I'm not a woman, so I can only speak from 'book learnin' on this subject, but my thoughts:

 

I believe the idea that using a vibrator will ruin a woman for regular sex is opposite to what really happens for many women. It is pretty widely known that a significant percentage of women cannot achieve orgasm from penis in vagina sex alone. Their orgasms come from direct clitoral stimulation. In addition, all women are different, and differ in the amount of stimulation they require. I'm pretty sure many women would tell you that vibrators are the way they achieve clitoral stimulation strong enough to bring them to orgasm, and they've been that way their entire adult lives. Depriving themselves of their use would not have made them magically able to come from intercourse alone.

 

D

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Dan Savage has been discussing this in depth in his pod cast. The issue is not so much the mechanical toy, per Mr. Savage, but the fact that both men and women get very used to self stimulation. For men it can pornography, and masturbation, for women it's toys and masturbation.

 

It suddenly dawned on me the way the US market must have exploded in the past 20 - 30 years or so for mechanical toys for women. Being hypothetical, imagine a device that is healthy for you, makes you feel fantastic, and is reusable? If it was a drug it would be illegal, or at least have a heavy tax.

 

Taking this a bit farther, from Wikipedia and a little back of the envelope math there would be approximately 98 million woman between the ages of 20 and 65 in the United States (there is an error I can see in that estimate but it's too late at night to pursue, and I am not really sure it is relevant to this line of thought). After a prolonged discussion with the wife I would put a very conservative estimate of perhaps 60% of women in the United States having toys, this could easily be much larger. Therefore you are talking about 60 MILLION sex toys in the United States alone.

 

Luckily largely unregulated by the government.

 

Therefore if there was a problem with sex toys being addictive as opposed to simple masturbation we would have a population implosion, that thankfully we don't see.

 

I would therefor agree with Mr Savage, that the issue is people being accustomed to masturbation to orgasm rather than with their partner. The availability of sex toys would not be a contributing factor, as they are already abundant.

 

BTW Dan Savage used to name this 'Death Grip Syndrome' from the men masturbating. However since he has become aware of similar symptomatology, he is looking for a new name, feel free to send him any suggestions you might have.

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I have found that vibrators can actually speed up foreplay and cause a higher level of arousal in the female making it that much more enjoyable for her. Having her reach that first orgasm and making her relax so she can enjoy the following activities makes it better for her. It also makes penetration easier as she is much more ready, even anticipating it.

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Thanks for you responses. Although none of us have problems orgasming with oral or penis-in-vagina sex, this is something I need to talk to Clair and Lora about and consider...

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My wife purchased a Hitachi magic wand several months ago and she will swear that it was the best purchase she has ever made. She also has several battery powered vibrators that have been sitting unused in our toy chest since.

Until she used the wand it would take upwards of 40 minutes for her to achieve one orgasm, with the wand she can easily have multiple orgasms within 30 minutes!

The first time she used it she could not believe how quickly it made her cum and this is a woman who didn't have her first orgasm until she was forty nine.

To answer your question I believe the use of a vibrator has made it easier for her to reach an orgasm during sex.

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Welcome to the Hitachi Lovers Fan Club, it's a very prized possession in this household too :)

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The main reason for non orgasm in penetrative sex is the female anatomy. The G-spot is right behind the pubic bone and is mostly protected in downward thrusting. Doggy should get some contact but the woman will have to tighten her vagina to help achieve contact. No contact = no stimulation = no orgasm from there. A woman must have that contact. You can stimulate her prior to intercourse and change the angle of penetration with some degree of success. The Cowboy position will give her the best orgasm. If you have not seen the videos yet at rebootyoursexlife.com they are worth the time to watch. I have used the techniques on the wife and she now has whole body orgasms with aftershocks that are fun to trigger. Yes, they really do get the look the one girl gets in the video and she has a hard time standing after.

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The main reason for non orgasm in penetrative sex is the female anatomy. The G-spot is right behind the pubic bone and is mostly protected in downward thrusting. Doggy should get some contact but the woman will have to tighten her vagina to help achieve contact. No contact = no stimulation = no orgasm from there. A woman must have that contact. You can stimulate her prior to intercourse and change the angle of penetration with some degree of success. The Cowboy position will give her the best orgasm. If you have not seen the videos yet at rebootyoursexlife.com they are worth the time to watch. I have used the techniques on the wife and she now has whole body orgasms with aftershocks that are fun to trigger. Yes, they really do get the look the one girl gets in the video and she has a hard time standing after.

 

Nice reference!!

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This is a little off subject but kikonkrome observed that there is no government regulation on sex toys. I agree that this is great, as long as you are educated on the products. Before using one of those super soft jelly toys, please read up on what that material is. It's pretty toxic stuff and it leeches out constantly. We have a couple of this type and use them but always cover them with a condom. If you aren't sure if you have one, clean it, dry it and put it on a paper towel over night. If it's bad, there will be a greasy wet spot on the towel.

If I understand it right, the packaging does have some regulation. If it's not a safe toy, somewhere hidden on the package in a 2pt font it will say 'novelty'. To the chagrin of many, this includes a lot of doc johnson products.

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... there is no government regulation on sex toys...

 

There is one major exception - Alabama, where all types of sex toys are criminally illegal. You can find more about it in various stories on the internet, but here is the Wikipedia link:

 

Anti-Obscenity Enforcement Act - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

When the law was first proposed, I recall reading a strong argument against the law by a woman columnist in the tech magazine Wired. She made a very emotional argument that this wouldn't disrupt the lives of the young and fit, but deny some measure of joy to the elderly and infirmed.

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There is one major exception - Alabama, where all types of sex toys are criminally illegal. You can find more about it in various stories on the internet, but here is the Wikipedia link:

 

Anti-Obscenity Enforcement Act - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

When the law was first proposed, I recall reading a strong argument against the law by a woman columnist in the tech magazine Wired. She made a very emotional argument that this wouldn't disrupt the lives of the young and fit, but deny some measure of joy to the elderly and infirmed.

 

oooh Alabama, really?!?! Ok hate to be mean, but why do people live there? Just sayin'.

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oooh Alabama, really?!?! Ok hate to be mean, but why do people live there? Just sayin'.
They design and build rocket ships; some look like big dildos.

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My husband bought a BBC vibrating dildo to prepare me for larger cocks than I have had in the past. While it has given me great orgasms, I have had no difficulty coming during natural vaginal or anal sex. If anything, I am having stronger and more frequent orgasms during penetration, even if my partner has not used the dildo on me during that play session. In the past, I often had to be finished off by some pussyeating. I am not sure why this is. Perhaps my vagina and my G-spot have become more sensitive after being stimulated by the vibrating dildo.

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