I didn't have time to read all the posts so sorry if I'm reiterating anyhting. For us cheating has been dicussed thoroughly, while we agreed we both are allowed to pretty much whatever we want with anyone else sexually, the rule is we have to tell what happened as soon as possible afterward or if at all possible before anything happens. This is so that neither of us feels we are being lied to. I am very insecure (childhood issues) so I made lots of rules for my guy if he is with anotherwoman, i.e. no cuddling, no love, no intamacy. Eventually we want to find a another women to be "our" girlfriend, and the rules will probably change then. So I'm guessing that every couple in this kind of lifestyle has their own set of rules, at least I hope that if a couple chooses this lifestyle they are open enough to be able to communicate how they feel it should work. So breaking any of the rules would be cheating to me.