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oldrrob

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19 Good

About oldrrob

  • Rank
    Shared Sharing Good Times
  • Birthday 08/10/1942

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Widower
  • Location
    Florida
  • Occupation
    Retired
  • Swinging Experience
    20 Years+

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  1. Troll. And I've noticed he.... sorry, she, has referred to him......, sorry again, herself as a women.
  2. I guess I may have unknowingly kept score in this sense; we did whatever was in her comfort zone, which over time evolved into mfm and a few special solos for her. I always felt that I was 100% in the pleasure thing, joining, watching or waiting. So my answer would really be no, never found it necessary.
  3. That 'we'll never do it again' line is at best an immature response and even more likely, he's playing you like a cheap guitar. If you don't get his attention with a very strong 'sit down and listen to what I have to say' conversation, nothing will change except your attitude, and for the worse. How hard it that to understand? You don't want him initiating things or, worse yet, making arrangements without your participation in the decision from the the get go! Sorry if that sounds a little strong, I've seen this before. I'll stop short of suggesting you respond with, 'Ok, fine, we'll never do it again' and just drop it. Ha! See how long that lasts. Nothing will change unless you change it. That's not how we did it.
  4. Hi Violet. I'm glad you found this site and the many fine folks on here, these are the most unjudgemental and helpful people on the net in my opinion. It's almost like Julie has some kind of troll dectector they just can't get past the front gate. I don't see this as a complicated issue, in my simplistic way of thinking. It's quite possible that your guy had never really given much thought to an open lifestyle, or whatever you want to call it, and your initial conversations and honest disclosure merely gave him food for thought. Even more likely, since he seems to like you pretty much, the fact that you could sort it out that way, recreational sexwise, gave him even more reason to see it in the same light. And as for his remark about being envious, I don't believe he was envious of who you experienced, but rather what, and again, being the person you are and the fact that you had 'embraced' it, brought to him a new legitimacy to the concept. I believe he wants to experience the same thing and with someone who appears to him, and to me, by the way, to have her head screwed on right, no pun intended. Keep talking, no matter what the real motivation or outcome, you seem to have a pretty good handle on how to handle it, yea or nay.
  5. Damn, I've tried to find a downside to you inviting Clair, especially since she already knows the whole deal. Hey, it may even be theraputic for Red to see David with Clair, kinda takes his focus off of seeing you with David and would surely give him more one on one time with you. I'd go with David's philosophy, 'whatever you want, Pet'.
  6. I too wondered where this was going when I first started reading. I was quite satisfied that in the end, you were able to connect and play with your friend. In contrast, my wife had expressed a feeling of being unfair in some of our endeavours, when she got one up on me. I assured her that she was so far off the mark, fair wasn't an issue, if she had fun, it was fair. Period. And even further, my greatest pleasure was in seeing, or even just hearing, of her's. And you still had his concerns and feelings right there with you. Nice, very nice. Great post.
  7. I'm 67 and just today I spent a fantastic afternoon with a couple just a few years younger than myself. They had been on a break for several years as I have, and we were able to connect and once again live the moment. Sometimes it's just a matter of the right place at the right time. I can't recall a time where I would say this community in general rejected anyone because of age, or size, or looks. I'll qualify that by saying that some people have preferences, and that's their right of course. But believe me, there are plenty of well over 60's folks still interested, and even some younger who, for whatever reason, bless them, find us 'mature' people attractive. You've come to the right place for great advice and listeners.
  8. I know this doesn't contribute to the current search for a universally recognized symbol, but.... Back in the 70's, there was a swinger's magazine called Select, it was a hook up type ad mag as well as informational for the lifestyle. And as strange as it may seem to a lot of you guys and gals, there was no internet, Al Gore hadn't invented it yet. But I digress, sorry. Anyway, they had a bumper sticker that was their unique way of writing the capitol letter 'S'. Not even a bumper sticker in the common sense, just the letter that could be affixed. I thought it was a great idea and I spent many years after looking for one on a bumper in my travels, to no avail. And even though we were into the lifestyle, we declined to display one on our vehicle.
  9. When the wife and I were in the LS, I once dipped my toe in these waters, talking about my enjoyment with a partner, and pulled back a frost bitten stub. We soon evolved into mfm, as I've seen some couples on here find fun and comfort in. I never felt she was being selfish, it was just the way she felt about things. And it worked for us. I loved hearing about every enjoyment she had, everything she liked about her experiences with the guys we shared her with. I never felt intimidated about being 'bested'. It was all about her and I, and especially her.
  10. I'll leave the philosophical part to those who can spell it. But I would say that he should let her start the way she feels comfortable, believing that the further one travels down this road, the wider it becomes.
  11. My wife had a b/f for about ten years, a very close friend before I met her, but not then a sex partner. When we ventured into the lifestyle, she called him and she saw him off and on for ten years. This was prior to HIV. He was our first venture into the lifestyle, she went to him, and she spent hours with him and came home to me. We were both very excited and we were undressing her as she recounted the evening and at one point, she started pushing me down, and down. When it dawned on me what she wanted.... duh.... it drove me nuts, the idea of eating her and the fact that she wanted it. I'd never see her that excited in all the time we'd been married. And, of course, in other ventures she always preferred our guest go first. Who was I to argue? She just loved the idea of someone else's cum being there before me.
  12. I was one of those "never in a million years," until a fairly recent encounter with a couple I had known for some time. She wanted to see her husband and I do oral on each other. We did. She loved it, a lot. Turns out we did too. Partly for what it was and partly because of her enthusiastic enjoyment. I don't feel any different about me or them. It was simply another one of those very memorable things that can happen in this lifestyle.
  13. Ok, here goes. I was one of those "never in a million years," until a fairly recent encounter with a wonderful couple I had known for some time. She wanted to see her husband and I do oral on each other. We did. She loved it, a lot. Turns out we did too, partly for what it was, and partly because of her enthusiastic enjoyment. I don't feel any different about me or them. It was simply another one of those very memorable things that can happen in this lifestyle. Rob
  14. I think some of the responses to your delimna, (sp), see it as a black and white issue, one way or the other, and you've expressed every feeling, idea, reservation, etc and etc, and if you say one little thing that doesn't fit a perfect narrative, you become indicted. It took me a while to find out that my wife enjoyed the attention of another male, but she didn't so much enjoy seeing me with another woman. And she felt guilty about that. I was able to convince her, because I truly felt, that I was fine with that. I was just so fulfilled with her afterward, and watching her, and enjoying her enjoyment. It wasn't selfishness on her part, it was just the way she felt about it. If something isn't right for you, it won't get right because someone else wants it to. I derived my pleasure from her. Rob
  15. I don't think you should try it if you don't want to, and he shouldn't be asking when he knows how you feel. I'd suggest you just straight out tell him that his insistence on it is beginning to turn you off on the whole thing. I would have loved to see her with another woman but she had, as you said, zero interest and I never asked her to. If you ever do try it, it should be when you feel a genuine interest yourself.
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