Jump to content

apraskov

Registered
  • Content Count

    30
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About apraskov

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday May 6

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    married couple / male
  • Location
    West suburbs, IL
  • Interests
    Addicted to swingersboard.com
  1. Happy Birthday!

  2. Hello, what others said might be right, but I wanted to add couple more things that I didn't see mentioned. Take this with a grain of salt, as I'm in no way a relationship specialist but in a way I feel that I can relate. Perhaps he has not healed yet from his previous relationships. Kissing, caressing and a number of other activities have different meaning based on the person they are done to/with. Providing them to a loved one makes the provider vulnerable as there is strong emotional attachment. He has no issues giving them to other people, as he is not emotionally attached therefore cannot be hurt. It's a defense mechanism, protecting him of getting hurt again. Also, you mentioned that "he knows just what a woman wants and needs". It takes one to know one. Perhaps this is what he was lacking and yearning for in his previous relationships. If one's wants and needs are not being met in a relationship, that person will learn to recognize those wants and needs in others and give them that, as he knows from experience what it takes and how to recognize them in the 1st place. Or I could be wrong about all of this, as I've already mentioned it above. If that is the case, please excuse me. Best wishes to you both.
  3. Reading the posts again it looks like my second post (Why didn't I think of that) seems sarcastic, I apologize, I did not mean for it to be.
  4. Maybe you could try cock ring (or tie a nice thin leather strip instead). Once you get used to the decreased sensation (inevitable when you use condom) you will be fine and the cockring will buy you more than enough time for that. Try it with your partner first, so you know how it works. Good luck.
  5. Just wanted to say that I wouldn't worry about the flabby skin. With proper diet (sufficient intake to rebuild the muscles), weight exercises (to gain back some of the lean body mass you probably lost) and time (could be 1 to 2 years) your skin will shrink back. How you are perceived by others is not based so much on looks (well, shallow people excluded), it is your conscious and subconscious projection of how you feel about yourself and at the very least you should feel proud of what you have accomplished.
  6. IMHO, I think it will be best for both of you to see marriage counselor. You can be and should be accommodating, but you need to learn to be a little selfish as well. That does not mean to do whatever you want, but rather to find the fine line between the things that are equally comfortable for both. Experienced counselor can show you how. In regards to swinging, like the others above have said, it will probably be a bad idea, as you are trying to use it to repair something in your marriage. That excitement from having sex with new people with get duller with time and you will be back where you started from. I hope that helps and good luck.
  7. He is an idiot not to appreciate what he have (had). He will probably realize that when his future wife takes the house and the kids and kick him out. Best wishes to you. You deserve better.
  8. It is up to you to decide. Here's what I think about it, taken from personal experience. Your results may vary. Your life together will never be the same after you tell her. It will be up to BOTH OF YOU to go trough this and if your relationship is strong enough it will survive. It may even move to another level, where (like Intuition said) honesty becomes more valuable, people become more open and not as easily hurt. Or, also a possibility to consider, she does not take that information well and your relationship goes down the drain. We are still recovering from a news like that. It's been 4 years (been married for 11 years now). While now that I think that I made the best out of it and our relationship is even stronger than before, that was not the case for a very long time. I hope this helps and good luck.
  9. Lol, you are right. I got lost in translation again. I used to think that compromise was when one gives up something so the other one is happy. When it is mutual, I don't consider it compromise. I just truly hate this word. Webster dictionary agrees with you, though.
  10. What do you mean? That was a response to an earlier posting from wiscpl. I don't get it. Surrender
  11. Does that mean that taking one for the team is okay? I don’t think that marriage is about compromise. The problem solving should evolve around solutions leaving BOTH parties satisfied (no pun intended).
  12. Mrs. Madones, please take my opinion with a grain of salt. I am not an experienced swinger. The pros here have already given you a great advice or opinion. But, based on what I know, feel and believe, one more thing raised a red flag for me: What is the thing that you are concerned that you may be missing on? It is very possible that at some point you will meet someone that has better technique than your husbands, or has more inches where it counts, or is more intelligent or more attractive or whatever. And then what? If you are not satisfied in any way with your current relationship you should communicate your feelings to your husband. As it was said already, swinging will enhance and add to what you already have. The only problem with this is that it will do the same for your problems.
  13. Sorry, I don't want to steal the thread, but I and my wife are going trough somewhat similar issues, so I felt the need to ask: Why would you oblige if you don't want to do it? Or you actually want to do it but it is easier for your conscience if your husband asks you to do it, because then you wouldn't feel the need to offer the same lack of restrictions to your partner? It looks to me that you and your husband are both trying to work out your insecurities cold turkey. That is something me and my wife are trying to do and we have decided that we are simply not ready yet, so I’ve been reading the forums a whole bunch lately. Back to the OP: great advice from the other posters. Maybe in addition to the rules and when to change them, you should try to work some scenarios out. Like WHAT IF… kind of thing. I know you cannot predict everything, but you can at least cover the major things and have a WHAT TO DO IF…. plan laid out before anything happens.
×
×
  • Create New...