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TLO7777

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About TLO7777

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    Maui

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  • SLS Name
    YoungMauiCouple

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  1. As overwhelming as the scar may seem to you now it is no worse than those carried by many others that have been swinging happily for years. Before your surgery, would you have turned down a wonderful connection just because they had a very large scar from open heart surgery? Why would you even want to swing with people that are so entirely superficial as to care? Here's a bit more reading to ease your mind... Swinging with a large body scar I'm sure that if you disclose your insecurity up front the sexy fun to follow will help you realize that your fears are only skin deep.
  2. Anybody that has gotten naked with more than a handful of people has seen their share of scars. Unless someone states on their profile "no physical imperfections acceptable" I wouldn't worry about it. I think scars are fun to kiss and lick personally. Kind of like an erotic road-map. For online connections you could always put a small note on your profile that mentions the scars. This way you can be sure that anyone that shows an interest won't be bothered in the least.
  3. Noooooooo... of course not! I was referring to the earlier theory about people becoming de-sensitized to this thrill even with new lovers and moving on to cheating etc. to find it.
  4. While I'm sure this can happen in rare cases when the couple truly wasn't very healthy to begin with, I think it's far from the common progression. I think this is why you see hundreds of profiles from experienced swingers that emphasize their interest in developing a long term friendship with potential playmates. After the initial variety wears off they find that the sex just gets better the more you get to know your partners. So an ongoing play relationship gets more fulfilling over time rather than less so. And finally, my own experience is that no matter how many times you do "the same thing" there is always the opportunity to have it be fresh and exciting provided there's real chemistry there. Every single person is different and every combination of people is unique! Doesn't matter how many women I've kissed before... there's always something electric about that first kiss with a new person. Same holds true for every subsequent level of intimacy. Undressing, touching, tasting etc. In my opinion, not being able to access that "thrill" over and over again represents a lack of intimacy skills.
  5. While it may indeed not be worth going through with a lawsuit, I think you owe it to yourself to at least find out what your options are. There are countless lawyers that will give you a free consultation, and I can assure you that even just a letter from a lawyer is likely to get you a full written recommendation and perhaps much more. No business wants to even risk a sexual abuse suit, and will be willing to do a great deal to avoid one. You could not be more wrong, and this comment shows absolutely no knowledge of actual legal precedents in the workplace. She wouldn't be charging harassment... she actually LOST HER JOB because of turning down a sexual advance. Wouldn't matter if she'd had sex with him an hour earlier. She'd actually have a case even if she hadn't turned him down at all. Don't take legal counsel from people whose only qualification is a keyboard and internet connection. Talk to someone that has a degree to back up their advice, weigh the risks vs. rewards, and make an informed decision. I'm not advising you to sue, but you've got absolutely nothing to lose by finding out what your rights and legal options are.
  6. Keep in mind that this poll only represents the ages of the people that spend time on this forum. If you look at statistics on age and internet usage you'll find a similar drop-off in the 40+ age group. Lots of people on the older end of the curve are less comfortable with the idea of internet dating, and this would of course carry over to swinging as well. Meanwhile many of this board's swing club reviews suggest a higher average age of couples in attendance than this poll does. So, I think there are probably far more 40+ swingers in the actual lifestyle than are represented by this sample group.
  7. First I would just like to applaud both of you for your candour, your grace in handling all of the responses, and your shared love and commitment to one another. MrsVan, I am so sorry to hear about the suffering you experienced in your prior marriage. Swinging aside, it must be incredibly liberating to finally have the opportunity to engage in friendships with other men now that you have a man by your side that truly cherishes you and wants you to be happy. I hear your sincerity in being willing to curtail communication with this man should your husband request it, and I respect that immensely. One thing to consider though is this... Your friendship with this man is not simply platonic, so the emotional stakes are raised considerably. Your husband is clearly not comfortable with this type of ongoing contact and has said so in no uncertain terms. He is also reluctant to ask you to cut things off because he is obviously concerned about your own happiness and feels guilty about wanting you to do this. I'm also sure that he does not in any way want to be associated with your prior abusive spouse wanting to isolate you from any male friends. If my wife was uncomfortable with my communications with the female half of a couple we play with I would immediately cease this type of communication. My wife, her feelings, and the well being of our relationship comes first ALWAYS. After discussing things and trying to work it through, if she was still uncomfortable in ANY way, I would *never* put her in the position of having to ask me to stop. I would simply do that on my own out of my devotion and love for her. There may not be anything "wrong" with your being friends with this man in your own experience, but this is clearly causing your husband distress. If you are as devoted as you say, then feed your friendship needs with men you aren't having sex with. MrVan... I appreciate your not wanting to ask MrsVan to do this out of a care for her happiness and not wanting to be a possessive and jealous spouse. That said, you are quite clearly unhappy with this ongoing contact and in not calling a halt to it seem to be "taking one for the team". Haven't you both agreed in swinging to only do those things which you are both comfortable with? Well your discomfort with this, for *whatever* cause, is reason enough to put on the brakes. Yes this is outside the bedroom BUT it is directly related to a couple you are swinging with and therefore completely comes under the terms of the swinging "contract" between the two of you. Yes, this involves a measure of sacrifice but there are plenty of other couples and friends to connect with out there in the world. Your marriage and inter-personal relationship always has to come first if you want to stay together and keep swinging happily. Wishing you both nothing but love, happiness, and understanding together. Dante -- "YoungMauiCouple" at SLS
  8. Use either a soft measuring tape or a piece of string wrapped around the base.
  9. And this is exactly what is brought to mind for the vast majority of the monogamous population regarding ANY type of swinging whatsoever. Just because it's beyond your own personal fantasies and comfort zone does not mean it is any less respectable or valid than your own choices. Your lack of ability to come up with other answers does not mean there aren't any. There are as many "life-affirming" reasons for such a practice as their are people to engage in it. For some it is simply an opportunity to completely shed any societal or cultural sexual inhibitions and experience the complete freedom to celebrate a sizeable libido. For some getting to be "a slut" is just incredibly hot... especially if this natural libido has been repressed for a long time. Finally living out such a fantasy can be incredibly liberating even if the actual act wasn't as hot in practice as the original idea. Lastly, it can actually be a healing experience for a woman that has been involuntarily a part of such a thing in the past. By re-engaging in it on her own terms, for her own pleasure, and in a way that is safe, it is possible for this to be the exact opposite of degradation... but a means of personal empowerment. Of course there are some that may do it for less healthy reasons, but to assume that it is unhealthy or degrading for everyone is just myopic.
  10. Here's where you are missing the boat... Wanting to interest someone in something they have clearly stated is not of interest is by DEFINITION being manipulative. Period. So the short answer to the above quoted quesion is... you can't. The reason no one here is going to address your other "real" concerns is that they are all built around your persistent desire to manipulate her into doing something she isn't wanting. This is so contrary to ethical non-monogamy that you're simply not likely to get much support here. The irony is that IF your wife is truly ever going to take an interest it will probably be a combination of two things: 1) The seed you have already planted in letting her know you are open to this. 2) Confidence and trust built upon you demonstrating that you ONLY want to do this if it is something you are both equally enthusiastic about. So, truly the very best thing you can do to allow that seed to grow (if it hasn't landed on barren soil) is to sincerely and authentically show her that being with her is far more important than any fantasy fulfillment through swinging. To make her secure in the fact that if she doesn't want this you will happily spend the rest of your life being monogamous with her. It is exactly this kind of unconditional commitment, love, and trust that makes it possible for people to have healthy swinging relationships. If it comes up short on either side drama and relationship strife is simply inevitable. Problem is, to convince her of this... you have to really feel that way yourself. To do that you need to actually heed the good advice that everyone is offering and not only "shut up"... but actually and authentically "let it go".
  11. What you're describing is actually common enough that is has it's own name... a gang bang "train". And at least in the porn industry your little girlfriend would be considered the "fluffer".
  12. Does everyone realise that they can remove/delete any certification that they are uncomfortable with for any reason? From the SLS FAQ section under "tools"... So, you have complete control over your own profile... even the certifications. If you're uncomfortable with how any certification reflects upon you or your "deniability" just remove it. So unless I'm missing something, this takes care of the negative concerns while leaving the advantages that many seem to appreciate. Perhaps this feature just needs to be better promoted to members. Dante -- Of YoungMauiCouple at SLS (who has no certifications and therefore wants to steal your pics, IM and email you incessantly, and then stand you up! )
  13. Yes, lots. Far more than will ever admit it. But then, this is a very candid group... just take a quick look at the Wildest Fantasy discussion thread. This thread has some good Gangbang Advice. As for being/feeling "too slutty", nobody's opinion means a damn thing as long as you're both having fun and no one is getting hurt... as most here agree. Use the search function here for "gangbang" and "gang bang". It comes up a LOT and you could easily keep yourself busy reading for hours. One thing to consider though, numerous women that have actually lived this out have stated that it's hotter in theory than in practice and would now actually prefer just 3-4 guys vs. more.
  14. In the Top 100 thread on certifications someone posted the following comment: How many others feel the same way about this? Obviously most will not get in touch with a couple that doesn't seem attractive to them, but are there many of you that are reluctant to approach a couple because you think they are "out of your league"? My wife and I are a bit younger than most and many find us quite attractive. While we do want to find our potential playmates attractive... this is of course a subjective thing, and for us, physical beauty is a plus but not even close to our top priority. We're actually quite open to playing with partners that are 10-15 years older and not of the same physical body type as us. For example we both find women on the curvy side far more appealing than gym rats. Being fit is fine, but too thin is actually a turn off. I'd hate for a couple to pass us over because they thought we were in a different "caste" than they are. What's your experience? Do you regularly contact couples that are outside of your own age/shape/looks bracket? Dante -- YoungMauiCouple at SLS
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