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ladyfirst

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About ladyfirst

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    Just Getting Started

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    New York
  1. OK....I'm back here. a little more than a month later and we still haven't jumped in. I'm just wondering if anybody else has experienced what I am in my relationship with a bi-hubby (who won't admit it) and how they deal with it. I found him again looking at male ads on craigs list and instead of asking again, I didn't say anything but now I'm a little worried again. I even did a google search looking for topics such as this but I found nothing. Seems like either you're gay or you're not and I don't have that trouble with him not getting an erection with me. Anybody got anything on this?????
  2. I said that but in the scheme of all the things that have happened since, well I believe I've learned a lot and changed a lot. I think people always ask what is wrong with themselves first and then look at all the possibilities.
  3. Wow, to the previous three posts......those were posts to my original question and I really felt what your journeys were through this. I really appreciate it and I want to maybe clarify a little of what I said previously. Anything that we ever talked about between us was because I brought it up. Reason being is that probably around the year 2000 I was looking around online and accidentally (and I mean accidentally) found out that hubby had been on some "match up" site and that he was replying to ads from women AND men. I was very mixed up at first because was our sex-life so inconsistent that he had to look for horny women online and what was all that about with him replying to men??? I held on to those for a while, all the while trying to get his passwords and check out what else was going on. I never found things that he had done but did see that people had been responding to him. So I totally "freaked out" and didn't understand one iota of the whole thing. Of course he denied it and we made up and it was forgotten with (on my part) for a while. Probably a year went by and I saw that behavior again and it gets more complicated but we split up for a couple of years but then got back together again. It was more than those revelations that made me leave so that was just secondary then. Anyway, when we got back together it seemed good again and we went on vacation and came back and things were honky-dory again....or so I thought. I now discovered that he had put an ad for himself on a gay-man's dating phone site, I guess in part because he knew I was more crafty online than he was/is. Now I thought "wtf"? What is wrong with me? Why is he doing this? He denied it again and again and it took some time for me to get over this. So fast-forward to the last 2 yrs and me going on different sites and reading posts all over about bisexuality and this site (for sure) and I feel like I've turned myself around completely. I can really "get it" about swinging, for one, and about same-sex play too. I really feel now that as long as I'm included in all of this that I can accept this and that we can become even closer to each other since I know all about him and vice versa. I hope this cleared up some of what I wrote before and I'm so glad that there are these venues where people can read about other's trials and tribulations and that people are willing to give their best advice. I also want to say that yes, it took a lot for me to come to this point but wanting to understand my man and making this relationship the best it can be is what I want, along with exploring my sexuality to its fullest. And it also makes me know that being "over 50" can be fun and sexually charged too! Thanks a whole lot to all who responded.
  4. Hi all. I've been on and off this site for a while now and still have not had any experiences. Here's the story (short): Mid-fifties and look and act younger, recently lost much weight (so feeling much better:-)) and I believe that this would be really nice for hubby and me. We've had ups and downs and they were very down but there is that bond and love still. Thing is that he says he will go along with whatever I want to do but he won't be specific and won't admit to me what his real fantasies are. I found out a while ago that he was looking for same-sex fun along with opposite sex fun but he denied it believing that I would freak-out if I found out. Originally I did but after a few years of knowing that he feels that way I have come to accept it and am willing to go along with it. My question is really how to let him know that it is ok and that I think if we get another male into the picture it will be good for both of us. BTW...at this point I don't feel that I am bi. Please all you seasoned people, give me your opinions. Thanks
  5. Well I agree with that we have had more experience in the act of making love and at this stage we don't have to worry about the monthly annoyances that women go through every month that sometimes have gotten messy We're sort of free to be and that in itself makes me feel sexy. And I don't know why but a lot of my friends and just women I've spoken to cannot even be bothered with the lovemaking aspect with their spouses and since I've been in this "Post" stage of life, I've just kinda exploded with feelings and urges. This is much better than when I was a "youngin'" in my 30's.
  6. Great stuff on this site but here we are....newbies and 53 and 52, respectively. We haven't actually played yet but I'm researching like crazy. Would like to observe in a club first. So question is do we stick out like a sore thumb in a club? We missed a couple of meet and greets because of previous engagements but I just don't want to look online forever. Any advice?
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