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twobears

Registered
  • Content Count

    110
  • Joined

Community Reputation

16 Good

About twobears

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 01/26/1946

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    Wasilla Alaska
  • Interests
    leathercraft, beading, fishing, hunting, collecting guns,dolls,turtles
  • Occupation
    both retired
  • Swinging Experience
    3 years

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    runningtwobears
  • SDC Username
    shiningfacewoman
  • Favorite Club(s)
    New Horizon
  1. Hi I hope you will write more in detail of the experience so all of us on the board can try to point you toward a more comfortable space over this experience. We are still newbies as it goes with only 3 or 4 years and limited experience up here in Alaska with our age it is not very often we play. I can tell you the first experience we had with a 3 som with another female, which is what we both wanted to experience, even with all the talking there was wrong impressions given to us by the other party. Yes I cried and I was mad at the other female, we speak that is all now. WE did not want this "one" time bad experience to take hold of us as a couple and turn us into something we both did not like. Yes realize "we only need each other" is a good feeling and will always be you as a couple, swinging burns out all of the deep personal feeling of our nature that needs to be placed in proper balance, that is up to you two to complete. Look and put these feeling in the right place and go on with new experiences in the lifestyle. Read about all of the people on here that want to help you with the personal pain, if you are willing to "openly" face what you feel and talk about it. Your personal out look on life will free you and hubbie to be what the creator wants, enjoy your life being the sexual persons you each are. The wonderful thing about the lifestyle is the trust and knowing your mate loves you and you him or her. This will give you both more pleasure with each other as well as the richer life is can give a couple, more than you can realize now in this pain. I hope you will talk to us more in detail and we all can share our growing experiences with you. I hope you will hold on to the love for each other and let go of the pain and enjoy life. Swinging will not do what you feel it will do to your marriage or anyone's I am so thankful I let myself grow and put the old fears away become the woman and couple that is free to be ourselves loving life and every moment with us and other in this life. I hope you will one day reach that goal also. Good Luck and please write again.
  2. ask her why,much more there than uncomfortable,when she is ready as you talk it may come,and you get to know deep personel things,I never realy felt loved the way I loved others. Well that was the old me,I am sorry that it took 20 years for me to get it right.LOL The will only be 40 or 50 but once!! Happy Swinging!!
  3. SW, the medical community just stated that mid 50's and 60's more are show up more than before. I do not who told you that nothing was safe is right but did not mean that using a condom would not do you any good but will greatly reduce and make you less chance to become HIV pos. We would never allow others to come inside us, much too personal, that is for hubby and I only. We make condoms fun: color, taste good, a new one hat allows the male the male to move in it, giving the males more pleasure, have not seen them yet on market here. Happy swinging!!
  4. well,I never would have thought that I would be a swinger,ever because of my own weak feeling of self worth. I wanted to have good marriage,be able to trust my husband,myself,be balanced emtionally. Well it took me lots of years,much love for each other to over come my personel passed heartache to be that person. My first marriage ended with a hatefull man trying to push me with fears of losing my children. I am telling you this to let you see how our love for each other lead us into a more trueful,loving relationship,it took 20 years to learn this. I still have a few things that pop up now and again that I feel stressed with fear to free myself. I talk to my mate fast as I can,I laugh and look at the situation,knowing that my husband always wants what is best for me and our marriage. We know that if we feel hurtful feeling over an issue that it was not done to hurt the other one,it was just a moment I felt jealous or hurt. We swing for our personel pleasure,for adult fun, we love to see each other be the natural human being that the Spirit made us to be. We do not have to swing to keep our marriage together,we are very carefull about each other,we set our guidelines and with time each become less improtant our joy in sharing our pleasure with each other,seeing the other enjoy life. I wish I could have been what I am now years ago, but this is a personel walk. Keep reading this board and talking to your mate,it will work it self out with the love you have for each other.
  5. well, first of all, you must let her express her feeling,she is excited I think with the new attention. I hope you had some guidelines set down,what was uncomfortable to her and you before hand. You just do not meet the other guy in a 3some separate from your hubby, did you talk about what you would do if different situations come up?? YOU must tell her you are not comfortable with what her has done. I hope the two of you can work this out so you both will be stronger and closer as true lovers. I hope she realize that this is just for fun,not to be confused with "feeling" of anything but yes, it felt good and that is all. It is very hard for a women to separate love from just good sex, if she feels confused then you must help her to realize that this new exciting feelings, is just part of the "fun of swinging" does not mean she has given him anything but SEX,not loving feelings,some swingers refrain from using the word love. Your age and the years married and background of your wife and you will all play a part in how we should give you advice. We still are learning as we go in this lifestyle ourselves and I hope you and your wife can talk this out and both be comfortable, this advice board is a good start. Good luck and bring her to the computer with you and read and talk together.
  6. We like most of the swingers would only want to be in the same room,as to see one another with a play mate that is the erotic and excited for us as a couple. It is nothing wrong if you play in seperate rooms most couples that do have years experience in the lifestyle,it is very brave or foolish to start into something and not really want it. Please as one female to another never do anything that you feel uncomforable with!!! I was asked in the middle of a place session to let this woman sat on top of my hubby with no condom on,this is a very hard line for me. We had not been in the lifestyle very long and my husband felt that he was missing out on pleasure because of the condom thing,it took us talking and even being uncomfortable with each other in anger. We keep sharing our feelings about the issue,my husband understands why it is so improtant for me and he understands now fully. We were at a hot tub party and the other female was on my hubby's lap I was looking and knew what she wanted we had not talk about condom as we should have before our play session, I felt so proud of him as he said no to her.
  7. Hi there everyone I take my hubby's and swollow but no other man I just do not care to, unless he is wearing a condom,it is not worth the chances you are taking in todays world. I have seen couple that do not use condoms saying that " they" group is safe because everyone is "free" of HIV but most people do not know that it takes 6 month to show a positive for HIV,that means everyone in 6 months you sleep with has been explosed to the HIV without they knowledge or yours!!!!! Be safe, be smart and stick to your guns(what you believe in)use condom don't let people talk you out of it. Be safe.
  8. we are not looking really for friendship but that is not really the proper word, we like making friends and do in the lifestyle,but really one night stand is what we want.
  9. I want make this a long post,but you are at the right place to learn and to understand all that this lifestyle takes in. We started with a 3som and the female was suppose to be a bi female with experience well she was not and after the first time I cried afterward,cused at him for his thoughtlessness of me,not good. We talked it over calmly and as time went on and we studied the things on this board you will learn and can lead your hubby into a well balanced experience. The women are the leaders in this lifestyle I guess you would say,you never do anything you are uncomfortable about no matter how small,write down your rules,look at all sides of the coin. We are happy couple but you have to be able to really talk to each other and have a real trust in each other and a committement to your marriage first.
  10. I like to say to this group that says "a false feeling of safe" no I do not expect the condom to do it all and I use condom when I do oral except on some women(bi female here). I do have female condoms oh in case I want to use them. You can not really totally depend even on a test, as a negative now, I have sex with you and next month become positive, then guess what. It is going to be common for all people to test for HIV in the near future,it could help save your life. I get so tried of hearing how you cut down your danger of std's by screening couples,nor for the ones that "know" the couple,you do not know what they did 10yrs back and oh yes one is usually positive within 6 months after being exposed to HIV,but not all the time and the same with the Herpes virus,it is very common and the other std that can harm female reproductive system is hardy detected except by ordor or discharge. There are people that are walking time bombs,have been exposed and don't know it and having what I call "free" sex. Yes, there are only certain condoms that protect against HIV,most today have the chemicals in the lube oh. I am 60 years old becoming positive will shorten my life and my age group will have less of a chance of getting HIV than a younger couple who started having sex in the last 20 years. Yes, we know the danger of the lifestyle and condoms are a must. I use strawberry ones for my orals sex on males,taste good and I still can give good head I have been told. Using condoms can be fun and sexy if we look at it in a different way and how we use,the kind we use. I like to help my male partners when his touch is need to finish putting it on, I am holding his balls, licking them you get the idea,got to keep him hard.LOL
  11. I am sorry that you are in this position,based on the fact you have children I know you are working hard to save the marriage. I would work on me,read the information on this board,try to change your outlook on the lifestyle. I would try to go into the lifestyle,slowly, solf swing. To be happy in the lifestyle you must have a good marriage you do not,you will need his emotional support,the long talks that need to be honest(not sure he can or wants too)A lot of the lifestyle is the togetherness,your love for each other and the enjoyment of being in it together. His whole out look on life and the (need) for sex with others,we take part in it to enjoy each other's pleasure. It was hard for me to over come the old out look toward this lifestyle,but I wanted to change because that was the only way my husband would agree to do the three. It took me a year of talking,crying, and meeting couples for solf-swing,before I was able to take hold of the lifestyle and enjoy like I was suppose. There are still times that I get a knot in my brain,we talk about whatever I am feeling or up tight about and it goes away. You will need your husband's love and support to enjoy this lifestyle and an open marriage would be hell for you. For any rules leave the women at work off of the list, you do the interviewing and chooseing the women,try a FMF 3som and see how he treats you during this,oh by the way in a FMF the extra female is not the center of attention but you the wife is the way I feel,all are pleasured.
  12. well I am glad you are happy but swinging did not get you here so don't say it did, and I hope you don't regret all the pain you have given, poly would have been better than a divorce.
  13. well I have been there, before we were swingers in fact, my husband knew and ask me what I saw in this man, when I could not look him in the face and talk it out it was all about being in defense of getting hurt. I had a step daughter that had told me my hubby her father had cheated on me while I was active duty away from home. What she did not know was how understanding her father was and what a wonderful man he is and always was. I ask for a divorce even this was a second marriage for both of us and we had no children in our marriage. We have talked about this in our marriage and we both know if we can not stop thinking about or get our minds off of a playmate,then we don't see them again. We are committed to our marriage and the love we have for each other. You are in a "poly " kind of relationship and you should read and look into it, you should have stopped being with this couple long time ago in a phyical way. Swingers do not leave there mates because something feels better or sex is better with someone else, you just bring what you learn home to play with the one you love. I think you forgot to sperate love from sex, you should have never let this go on for so long. I hope you will work through these feeling,and not hurt your family and friends and all the little ones.
  14. I hope he or she will contact the board again and let us talk out what happen. A bad experience can hurt but not your marriage if you love one another,you can learn about yourself and your beloved mate if you talk this out. I have been there, we all have so don't worry about our marriages but your outlook at your own marriage, only you can help it recover or let it die and blame swinging, or get up and go talk to your mate and fix it!!! Good Luck on doing that!!
  15. :no no:!! I would never let another male cum inside me nor do I give head without one, a nice colored and/or flavored one. I know that I give pleasure to my play partner, my sweetie tells me so, we tried on us!!! The chances of either of us at our age contacting an STD would give us less time to enjoy each other and another partner. We love life and respect our bodies, we work out and just love it now, we dance, our home in another state wears my knees down it does take me longer to get over a trip home to Virginia for reunions. LOL I love our time together, the young and most people forget that it takes only a moment in time to shorten our loving wonderful fun times together as husband and wife.
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