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EmpyreanPleasur

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About EmpyreanPleasur

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 05/16/1960

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M. Female
  • Location
    Illinois
  • Interests
    Travel, health, internet, Hedonism
  • Occupation
    Accounting/Investments for Lifestyle Business

Swinger Info

  • Favorite Club(s)
    Club Adventure, Couples Choice, Hedonism

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  1. based on the original question, yes I would want to know who the father is if there is a possibility it was not my husband. I'm sure we would tell the other man if he was but I know we would have no problems raising this child! Darn scary situation with all the possible complications, but it IS a risk you take when you have sex.
  2. ah...and one of the reasons we live by the mantra: "never say never"!
  3. I'm sorry but being one of those couples who are considered a "waste of time" I didn't like the way that was worded. It was unnecessary to say it that way. I've learned to ignore "severe" comments when they are made on here...but I feel it's not the way to address newbies who would get the wrong impression of what people in the lifestyle are like. We've done full swap so we KNOW what it's like to be on the other side of this situation and we would never say something like "where a big sign so I don't waste my limited time with you". If it's that important, then maybe people should IMMEDIATELY say "Hi, I'm so and so - do you full swap"? I'm not at a club to put notches on my belt and I have to say that while it's not the majority, a LOT of people at the clubs we go to are not into full swap. The full swappers we know also have no problem spending time with us and being friendly at clubs. We regularly frequent 3 clubs in our area, have been to more, and get invited to house parties - despite being the dreaded 3-some squad. BTW...MrE is not the least bit insecure, but he can tell you that himself. Like others, it is MY choice not to be with other men cause frankly I just am just not interested in being with another man at this point in my life.
  4. The only "way" to communicate this is to be direct and honest. Of course you probably don't want to walk up to a couple and say "Hi...we only do 3somes with women" as you'd look rather silly, but follow the cues of the conversation to find an appropriate time to bring up your interests. Your scenario is possible and infact, quite common. We've had great success in meeting single females though most of it is online and through ads. In my experience we have not met many women at "couples" clubs who will play separately. Of course there are clubs that invite single women too. While some people take this as their initial step into the lifestyle and then realize they feel more comfortable expanding their limits, there are plenty of people in the lifestyle who prefer the 3-some scenario but give it up as they don't know how to work at it or are not patient to wait for what they want so that they expand their original limitations. Your success online depends on your style of approach, your directness and your dedication to getting what you really want.
  5. BodyScape...while I don't envy the decision you had to make, you did the right thing as far as I'm concerned. Thank you for letting everyone know. BTW...I didn't get a PM either!
  6. Tempest...and Seriously...thank you. I am glad that sometimes my ramblings help! I just want to clarify that though I would not want my husband involved with a single woman alone, I probably wouldn't like it if we were swapping and he developed a relationship outside our foursome with that woman either. The point is, that EVERYONE has different limits. Some may seem unusual to others, but we have to work out what is right for us - like the couple that will full swap but you may not kiss on the mouth! To each their own. The important thing is that sometimes what we think will work doesn't go too well on the test run and to realize it is ok to say, "hey, I didn't expect this feeling/complication and maybe we need to change that"...OR find a way to talk about this unexpected complication and what would help to work around it for both of you. I hope that makes sense. As long as the two of you continue to communicate and try to understand each other, you should be able to work things out without too much difficulty.
  7. I think it's not possible and it is wrong to try to determine who is in the right or wrong here. All I can do is offer some advise. I still think you two need to clarify some limits. I would be furious with Mr. if he pursued a single woman who had no idea that we were swingers - not to mention that we don't swing apart anyway. Likewise we have agreed that unless and until we have a long time, ongoing, trusting relationship with an unattached single female, neither of us would be alone with her until we had previously agreed we'd reached that point in the relationship. My point is that you may have to be a bit more specific in your limits. Yes, it is ok that he wan'ts "stranger" sex - however, does that preclude her from getting what she wants and what they have apparently previously agreed is ok? Would her relationship with her friend not be a problem as long as he "is getting his" somewhere else? Swinging should NEVER be a competition between the two of you. One of the couple is ALWAYS going to be a bit more popular than the other one - and there may be times where this rotates between the two of you. Either that, or you set a rule that neither of you ever plays unless BOTH of you are involved. The other thing to remember here is that sometimes we set limits that we think are perfect and once we test them out, we find there were unexpected feelings that we didn't care for - so sometimes you have to step back and reset your limits. There is nothing that says you cannot CHANGE your rules or step back and do less than you had previously agreed upon!
  8. Everyone here has great insight and advice. Realize that maybe we aren't saying you jumped into something too quickly, but that maybe your involvement is moving too fast without any real limits. Everyone should have very clear limits and sometimes we have to go back and reset our limits after we've had an experience and realized that it did not work for us. Also, if you are truly both ok with what the two of you are experiencing and you are just feeling left out because you haven't had "your turn" yet, you need to realize that even though it's very difficult to be patient. Sometimes one partner will have more opportunities than the other. This in our experience is most often the case for the female, especially a bi-fem who has more opportunites for herself.
  9. That says it in a nutshell! This man is a pig. Hell, if my own husband did that to me I'd come up swinging. Let alone the lack of respect that he showed by doing it a second time. Anal isn't something you "just loose control over" as you well know it can be damaging if it's not done right. ANYTHING that you do not want to do should not be done. Anyone who is selfish or immature enough to "lose control" doesn't belong in the lifestyle. I can't even imagine what my husband would have done to anyone in this situation so your husband's anger at this guy is well within reason! I think this has nothing to do with him being a single man, married playing apart or even married playing together - this guy would likely be this thoughtless and crude no matter what his play status was. However, everyone has a good point about the character of a man who is playing without his wifes knowledge and what it says about him. Still this does not mean it's YOUR fault or anything you did wrong. It's just something to think about - live and learn! I also can't believe he didn't realize how upset you were that you had to go into the bathroom and refuse to come out until he left! He knew! Just like he knew he had hurt you the first time he did it. I hope you both seriously reconsider this person's friendship as his character is strongly suspect in many ways now. As for yourself...you and your husband need to talk through what happened, explore your feelings and when you are ready move on from this. This is NOT what the lifestyle is like. I wanted to add that YOU my dear are a wonderful loving person who is sharing something special in an obviously loving and strong relationship. Do NOT let what happened in any way make you feel belittled or dirty. I know it is difficult not to but keep reminding yourself that YOU did nothing wrong and he was responsible for this situation!
  10. My apologies and I am sorry if I offended you! I confused the HPV (still an STD) and the HSV by trying to do this by memory which was wrong to do. You are absolutely correct it is caused by HPV. However, the rest of the facts are correct and just like Herpes, HPV is becoming more and more prevalent and like herpes, both are pretty hard to detect with asymptomatic contagious periods. Both are significantly on the rise and we need to realize that it may be impossible to limit our exposure with anything but abstinence and we need to not be judgmental of people who have either.
  11. First - NHCple....I'm so sorry to hear about this experience and can fully appreciate your taking time away from the lifestyle after that. I think it says a lot for your marriage that not only did it survive that situation, but that you are now re-entering the lifestyle! We've had a few "bad" experiences though mostly not TOO bad. The problem was two were right in a row! One woman, who was bi-curious, and seemed to enjoy the 3-some when we were together, eventually started to develop feelings for my husband. Not an unexpected complication - the problem was she sent him an email asking to talk about it, but asking him NOT to allow me to see the emails until after they had talked "if he still wanted to" at that point. Of course, my husband shared it with me immediatley and I wrote her back. Either I didn't handle it well, or I read it completely correctly, as we were unable to communicate about it enough to fix the situation and never got together again after that as she was quite upset with both of us for how we handled it. The second situation was a definitely bi female with experience, who quickly developed an infatuation with me and not only was pushing too much time on us and talking about being in love, but seemed to have little interest in my husband. When I tried to slow the relationship down she not only became upset, but eventually pretty hostile and aggressive so we told her we had to end the relationship. After that she was so upset that she wound up stalking me for a while, but it eventually died off. The only other situation I had was once in club, we were in the party/play room and while my husband was going down on me, I was laying back enjoying myself with my eyes closed. As a couple on the next bed finished up their play and got up to leave this moron (the male) reached over and tweaked my nipple! It happened so quickly as he walked out that he was gone from the room before either my husband or I came up off the bed - and we chose not to make a scene so let it drop, but it definitely ruined my mood! It seemd not only like the high-schoolish behavior of a testerone overloaded teenager, but rude and invasive.
  12. THAT is a big fear of mine! Well, I dont mind the taste as much as the texture, though I will do it for a man I really love. The problem is hubby knows I don't like the textures/taste so he doesn't like to cum in my mouth because he feels it's not right if I don't absolutely enjoy it. Unfortunately I can't get him to understand that I may not like the texture but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy pleasing him! Also, he's had a LOT of women who coincidently really loved swallowing in the past so it's difficult for him to adjust to the way I feel about it.
  13. Everyone has facts and opinions...here are mine. First, women who have cervical dysplasia have HSV. Most doctors don't explain this to them. Cervical cancer is almost exclusively caused by HSV. Many women are only diagnosed by having a cervical biopsy when an abnormal pap smear comes up. On top of that, not only can you be a carrier or an "asymptotic shedder" but someone can have ONE tiny little lesion and be unaware of it - remember, the lesions are not only located on the genitals but on the cervix as well. Given this, it is no wonder that most people don't know they have it and how rampantly it is spreading. Also, you can be a carrier or be infected but it lies dormant for YEARS and then becomes active, so you may never know where or when you contracted it if you've been sexually active with more than one partner in your life. Herpes carries a stigma to it as it has for many years, but I think we really need to learn to accept it as a part of life. It is a VIRUS. No different from a cold. Just because it is passed on sexually, that does not make it a "dirty" disease or make the person who has it dirty. Dropping this stigma will make people more open to learning about it, getting themselves diagnosed and treated and even prevent more deaths as cervical cancer is easy to treat IF FOUND EARLY. No one WANTS to have it, but I think society is going to have a bigger problem if they don't start recognizing it and get over the reputation it has because eventually it may become a matter of not IF you get it but WHEN will you get it.
  14. Well, at whatever point I found out about his size I'd just take a "wait and see what happens" attitude with the smaller sized man. Tongue agility and patience are much more important to me anyway. With the larger guy, I'd probably have a serious talk with him as menopausal changes have put me in a position where even average size can be painful if not managed correctly - nothing too hard or too deep. If a frank (but sensitive) discussion wound up upsetting him in any way, I'd have to say I'd rather find out now than later that he's a "jerk" cause I'm not interested in someone who isn't comfortable or sensitive enough to talk to me as easily as sleep with me.
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