hotsummers

LOL It just sounds like you are full of yourself and are the exact kind of conceited single male we work to avoid. Pushy, arrogant and thinks that they are Gods gift to women. No thanks.

A great post by "Intuition" above. One aspect of your question that I think I might be able to address is the "why." Your SO (significant other) has fantasies that he would like to experience. He obviously feels that his life would be sort of incomplete if he were to ignore the fantasies that he is having without at least attempting to realize them. He has taken the first step in opening up to you about them. The good news is that he wants to share them with you! Another positive note is you seem to be at least open to the idea of understanding your man and finding out more. ALL men (and women) have fantasies. MOST men do not share them with their SO's. In my opinion this leads to repressed feelings, anxiety and frustration in the relationship and in many cases a resentment and feeling of "sacrifice." Many men deal with these feelings by having an affair with someone who they feel will give them what they feel their SO will not. If only men and women could open up and share their deepest innermost thoughts. Well, most in the lifestyle do share their deepest and innermost thoughts and fantasies. There is an openness that I never experienced in a "normal" relationship. Believe it or not, there is also a level of trust that is developed that I could not have imagined before. My advice to both of you is to talk about your fantasies and learn to understand what each other wants and needs. Keep in mind that people have little or no control over what turns them on. Either you are wired a certain way or you are not. Your SO's fantasies are no reflection of your ability or inability to please him or to excite him. Swinging is something ADDED to a great relationship, not something that takes the place of a great relationship. The more you can open up with each other without being judgmental, the more you might find you have in common.

LOL, our favorite is the listing with 6-8 pics of the guy in every pose possible and the ONE shot of the wife getting in or out of the shower or walking down the hall, or some other pics where she OBVIOUSLY had no idea hubby was going to post it on a swingers site! Of course this guy always wants to swing alone because wife doesn't feel good that night! LOL We also like theones where the people look drunk.... NOT! But we must admit they are entertaining, all of them.

Keep in mind that these flamethrowers are the exact same people who are all up in arms about Janet Jackson's breast. LOL These people are terrified because sex with other people WOULD destroy their lives. While on the other hand, lifestyle'rs revel in the very activity that would totally destroy the naysayer’s relationships. People are afraid of what they can not understand. They can not relate to being 100% honest with their SO. They don’t want to hear that their spouse is unhappy with being sexually repressed. They don’t want their SO to admit that they have fantasies. Don’t be angry, just pity the poor soles because they are living in their own private hell and don’t even know it.

We liked it as well. They made several of the main points we would have wanted to them to make as "our" spokespersons. That this is not about fixing a broken marriage it is about loving your SO enough to enjoy THEIR pleasure. I was also pleased that it was compared to the cheating people whose lives were in shambles. And lastly we liked the aspect that it is about honesty and being 100% open with your partner. I'd say that 85%+ of the people out there can not be honest with their SO about fantasies and the things that they might like to do or try. I feel blessed that we can.

We are an "older" couple, she in her mid 30's and I, well... a little older. We are both often mistaken for being much younger than we really are. I feel that age is something that you wear well or don't, much like clothes. We think young, act young and are not in a real big hurry to "mature." We are also young in life with young children. When I was in my early 20's I would have cringed at the idea of swinging and thought it was perverted. But after living life fully since then, I feel that swingers are more enlightened than the rest of the general population. Something that would destroy the average couple (sex with others) only makes a swinging couple stronger and more in love. It takes a few years of life to be able to fully grasp such a concept. It also takes deep self confidence, something a lot of younger people have not developed yet. Hence the older crowd generally associated with swinging. We would entertain younger couples because we would not feel self conscious about our looks or bodies. Others may not feel the same way.

WE watched the show also with a similar opinion. However, there were some positive points. At least it didn't show toothless swingers in a trailer park! They were all intelligent, attractive and apparently having a good time. They also showed that the malice was not part of a swinger's jealousy or a spouse being "forced" to participate. On a more negative note, the show loosely followed a typical misconception that swinging and pedophilia are somehow linked. In other words, you'd better hide your children if a swinger is coming over. At least they made the “child” older and near the age of consent. Most people can not understand how couples could be so indifferent to what would be tantamount to a sexual “affair” with a neighbor. When most relationships can not survive a fling, swingers seem impervious to normal jealousy. I feel that many people envy this ability as much as they cannot understand it. I also believe that the vast majority of people WOULD have sex with others if they thought that they could “get away with it.” Not only do swingers “get away with it,” they are actually are allowed to enjoy it!! LOL This is something that the average repressed couple cannot understand, therefore they must vilify it in order to accept it. TV just follows the "norm" to sell to a larger audience.