JKBertha

Bunny, I am still very sorry for this. I don't think any of us would wish the feelings that you are having on anyone, I know how painful it is. However, do you want to invest more time in him? As Dr. Phil would say, "What's your payoff here"? I mean, he's obviously not helping you to feel good about yourself...and in this short and young marriage, if you have to cut swinging off, he turns against you and gets resentful? What is the payoff for you? Why are you staying? Is it cause you don't want to feel the hurt of a seperation or divorce? You have become his doormat, he is wiping his feet all over you and basically telling you tot ake it or else. Or else you get more rejection from him, more dispair, more lonliness, and more isolation. You do not have to be weak...get counseling for yourself atleast, even if he won't go....because maybe that will give you a good emotional outlet, and they can help you clarify and objectively view te situation. Then, if things don't change with him or his attitude, just like ripping a band-aid off....kick the guy in the ass and kick him out. If you don't, it'll just be year after year of the low you are feeling. Take care and big hugs!!!!

One of my husbands friends had a vascectomy and his wife still got pregnant...and it was absolutely without a doubt his baby. It can happen, cause they are not 100% effective....and neither are condoms, or any other sort of birth control. You do need to talk to your husband. On a more personal note, in response to the person who said "don't have it"....I know everyone has thier own thoughts on this. So, I will add my 2 cents cause, I guess I just feel I have to. I got pregnant when I was in college, 19 yrs. old, and it was done to me (no explanation needed there)......and with the ncouragement of everyone close to me, I did terminate the pregnancy. That was over 10 years ago, and I still ache every day with that decision. I look at children who would have been the age of mine, and it makes me so sad. I do forgive myself, and I know I can't take it back. And frankly, it didn't really bother me as much until I did marry and had children of my own....and the love I felt for them, and the people that they were and are....well I took the possibility of life away from someone else. That's just my story, and I don't expect people to agree that I should hurt over this, or that I should share it with you in your situation. However, thankfully you have a spouse, and thankfully you love him....you do need tot alk to him and work this out as a couple. Your decision to swing was a couples choice, anything from here should also be. Take Care....things will work out (big hug)

You know what, that pisses me off and he's not even my husband. I mean, it's like, I would feel great, you had it your way....but crushed me doing it. You know, I am very sorry this happened, and that has to be very hurtful. I don't know how you go on and fix it....but if he were my guy things would stop now. It's not the fact that your rules were unreasonable, cause it doesn't matter what rules were set. It's the fact that you both had agreed....bottom line. And you should never feel pressured or pushed into anything. What do you think would happen to your marriage if you quit swinging? Would he stand by you in that decision? Or would he resent it? Because what he did is put his desires before your trust....and that's not cool. Put him on this board, I'd love to have a rant at him . I do hope you go on to be ok, I really do. And that things work out great. Now I think I must go take a happy pill, cause I'm pissed

Hey, bottom line is the best impact this show can have is that we get to see Stedman and Oprah out and about swinging:) lol, I'm kidding......my mind I guess went to a wierd place, hee hee

I'm so sorry you went through that, and I know how hard breaking up can be. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, and I know how I would feel if this happened....devistated. I actually hope for you that you meet someone who you develop a great relationship with, someone who gives you happiness and intimacy. Take care of yourself, and I really wish you the best. -JKBertha

Oh wow, see, I've dealt with this too. However, it wasn't an issue until for me until my husband and I started investigating this lifestyle. See, since I've had kids, I blew up.....and I know it's my fault. However, I have never felt sexier than I do now. I think being sexy is something that we just show through our attitude, our dress, etc. I really do feel sexy sometimes:) My road blocks have been recently through going to Swing socials. I was like, "Oh my gosh" cause there were so many perfect people. I definitely felt intimidated. Thus, I didn't appraoch or mingle with any of them. I think I, and maybe you, need to learn to be happy with who we are....and ofcourse work to be the best we can. I'm glad this issue has motivated others....it hasn't motivated me. I want to be motivated by "what's healthy" and what's best for me...and nobody else. Best luck:)