passion8

I'd say it all comes down to communication. You're going to have to talk to the other guy about what your limits are so this is part of that discussion. I wouldn't hold out much hope of anything happening at the club you are going to, as in general male bisexuality at swingers clubs is frowned upon. Judging by this board there are plenty of bi-curious males out there so good luck.

Mr P 430 Mrs P 548 Who has led who astray?:slam"

Frenchie - I really hope you are just having your own bit of fun with the board playing your version of "Devils advocate".

Just returned to the board after a few days away, wow. To have just read this thread the whole way through for the first time, I feel so sorry for Mrs Frenchie. The members of the board have given some great advice. Please Frenchie take a good look at yourself because you sound so self centred and on such a sensitive subject too. Swinging is most definitely not for everybody, those of us who are males and take part in the lifestyle probably do so as a priviledge because of the understanding nature of our relationship with our SO. We've occasionally come across the self centred male in a club - even giving them a wide birth, they can still have the ability to ruin the night for others. The adage in swinging is "one partner takes the couple into swinging, the other one keeps them swinging". You've tried to take your wife into swinging, but in this case she clearly doesn't want to stay. Therefore you are not destined to be swingers, sorry that's the way it is and you are in the vast majority here. Please accept that, put her first in your relationship. Understand that the only reason she brings up swinging at the moment is because of the pressure you've put on her. Next time she brings it up you need to tell her you've realised it's not a good idea for your relationship and that you should both forget all about it. If one day a long way down the road she starts talking about swinging again, consider yourself very lucky, but make sure you never bring it up again you've sowed the seed (with some serious over seeding) the ball remains in her court now. Also forget the accounts you are not being fair on your wife. If you can't put your wife first in your relationship you shouldn't be married.

As there are some std's which don't have any symptons, IMHO I would suggest that any poll should also be linked in to how often / when were you last tested.

No it wasn't Trapeze, it was in Belgium! That made conversation a little more difficult, but the first thing we did when we got there was to sit down to dinner and we were joined by probably the oldest couple there! They said they didn't swing and we enjoyed their company as they explained what the club was like and what we should do/expect.

Well we really remember the butterflies we had in our stomachs during the day of our first club visit. All we hoped for was: That we wouldn't find the club to be a "seedy joint", which it definitely wasn't. That the people wouldn't be pushy, they wern't. That we'd enjoy the disco part - better than any vanilla club, but then this club had over 300 people in it, almost everyone under 40, we couldn't believe it. We wanted to see if we could have sex with people watching, we could;)

Not living in America we're not so worried about the gun, but there are other blunt instruments they can turn up with. This brings a whole new meaning to the health risks of swinging.

Alura you've done the English language a favour with your intermarital contribution. Doesn't it deserve a place in this site's dictionary as a starting point on it's slow path to general acceptance. (hint hint Julie)

Had to think long and hard before posting here - not interested in getting into an arguement, but want to share these observations. As has been talked about elsewhere on this site most men, whether they admit it or not are curious to know what it would be like to give a guy a blowjob, just once probably. Now suposing I had done that, does that mean I have to call myself bi-sexual for the rest of my swinging life? Or perhaps I want to place a seperate advert looking to fulfil this fantasy, if that is the case what's wrong with keeping the straight adverts running? Nobody cares if a woman changes her status and while if I ask someone a direct question I would want an honest response, I respect their right to advertise for different types of swingers. There are female swingers who occasionally like a gangbang, but you don't see an advert - straight male & bi curious gangbang loving female looking for a bifemale....... You run adverts to try and attract the people you want to meet and again as has been discussed elsewhere many couples have 3 or 4 other couples they like to swing with on a regular basis - perhaps in this case this couple would like to find just 1 couple to share the males bisexual curiosity with. So my feeling is there's absolutely nothing wrong with running the 2 adverts, but if I were to respond to either advert I would wish that the couple answered any questions that we asked completly honestly - an advert is a marketing tool I don't buy a new truck just because I saw a nice ad in the paper - I do my research and ask more questions, same thing here.

There's so much more to lingerie than just the colour (that is spelt right I'm not American!) Different styles suit different colours. As others have said skin colour, state of the tan and hair colour all play big parts in what looks best. Going out buying lingerie I'd have to say that for me the best, most extravagant lingerie often seems to come in black, but I like to see her wearing a variety of colours and styles, so I sat on the fence with this one.

Thanks Julie & fun_pairTX We were sure there were going to be some very good reasons. We love how informative this board is! Thank you!

Never having looked into opening a swingers club, there's probably a very good reason why this won't work, so please tell me why!flamethrow What if you opened a guest house/hotel possibly for members only. You could probably have a bar and other entertainment and while you might not want to allow nudity there, there should be nothing wrong with lingerie. Then upstairs, or wherever the bedrooms are surely it's up to the guests if they want to leave their doors open or not.

Spoomonkey you're so right, or at least the same as us! Normally we would not want to get involved with cheaters, it's a turn off actually. But there has been one time when a good friend joined us without her boyfriend (who was not a friend of ours). It was something she wanted to do and we could see that her relationship was coming towards an end (if that's any excuse). But certainly with strangers we would feel it was a definite no-no.

We were with 1 couple where he wanted to experience another guy and he approached my partner about it. She thought it was a good idea, but I wasn't so sure, so nothing happened. But it led to me giving it some thought and while I have no desire to kiss another man, I think it would be good to be in a 3some or 4some situation where hand/mouth to genital contact was ok between the guys. I agree that every guy wonders what it would be like to give a blow job. However I always describe myself as str8 as I see it as probably being an experience I'd only ever share with one guy.