Mike6216

Ok, I'm going to sound like a newby, but that's because I am lol. The wife and I are going on our first cruise in a few days. It's not a "swingers cruise", but I've heard that there are usually tons of swingers on any cruise. My question is, how do we spot them? I know about the pineapple thing, but i also assume that pineapples are a pretty common thing on a Carribean cruise. We are 3 years deep in the lifestyle but, so far, we only swing with one other couple, so we have zero experience in approaching potential playmates. We are not going on the cruise to actively seek out new playmates, but would like to be ready if the opportunity arises. My questions are: 1. Is there a way to spot swingers and, if so, how? 2. Once we have determined that a couple are swingers, how do we start the conversation? 3. Is there a way that we can make ourselves visible to other couples that might be in the same boat as us?

I have a question for everyone. The wife and I started swinging about 3 years ago. We are not very active however, as we have only swung with one other couple about 3-4 times per year. During this time, my wife opened up to me and told me that she is not just a woman who is cool with a little girl-girl action during swinging, but she is and always has been a bisexual. I told her at the time that I was supportive and did not mind if she had sex with girls, as long as I knew about it and that the other girl knew she was a married woman. Well, this actually happened over the weekend while she was on a girl's trip to the beach. She immediately called and told me about it like she said she would. I could tell in her voice that she was upset and was very relieved when I told her it was ok. Well, a friend of mine (the male half of the couple that we swing with) told me that he does not think it is a good idea for that to be happening. He's been swinging and having threesomes for far longer than I have, and he says that, in his experience, this never ends well. I have been with my wife for 15 years and trust her completely. She even remembered the rule we had in place about letting me know about her adventures, and followed it to the T. I guess I've let him get in my head a bit, and hey, it's 2022. Her leaving me for a woman is definitely a possibility nowadays lol. I'm just looking for input and advice from those of you who have been in the community longer than we have. Thanks Side note: when she got home from her trip, she fucked me while describing the entire session she had with the other woman. Needless to say, I didn't last very long lol.

So, me and the wife are still fairly new to swinging. We've been going for about 2 years now and we have only ever done it with one other couple, who just so happen to be long time (10 plus years) friends of ours. Well, Saturday night they came for a sleepover. After hanging out and having a few drinks, the girls end up saying that they did not want to have sex because "it feels like every time we are together, we have to have sex". Me and him were both cool with it because we don't pressure our wives to do anything they don't want to do, but looking back, I'm just curious. Could this actually be the reason, or is something else (loss of attraction, loss of interest, etc) more likely the cause. I know for a fact that they were both planning on a fun night because the wife had me help her shave and his wife brought her toys. Something changed within the night.

Anyone consider themselves straight but find themselves really wanting to suck a dick while swinging lol? I have no desire to kiss, fuck, or get fucked by a man and do not find men attractive, but for some reason, I kinda wanna suck a dick. Am I the only one? How would I bring this up?

@adamgunn I can't really say if I could penetrate my wife because we've never really tried during our swing sessions. I can say that after the first couple of times, me and the wife were so turned on by the experience, we had great sex immediately afterward and for several weeks that followed. After this occurrence, I was so embarrassed and disappointed in myself, I just wasn't feeling it. There is nothing that puts a damper on things quite like having to watch 2 gorgeous women suck on your flaccid penis and wonder what the fuck is going on. @Sunday I do sometimes, but it is rare. I have low T, just not low enough for the Dr to treat it. "Normal" levels are something like 300-1200. I'm a 31 year old with a 321 T level, but to the dr, I'm "normal". I know this could give me some issues, but my equipment works just for 90% of the time with the wife. This makes me think that the issue is something else. @Fitlakecouple we would be open to a mfm, but we are not sure how comfortable we would be with a stranger. We kind of feel into this when we found out this couple we have been friends with for many years are in the lifestyle. We are 100% comfortable with each other because of the familiarity we have. Not sure if we, more so the wife, would be as comfortable with anyone else. @PeterJ that could very well be the issue. After the first encounter, which was a failure, I have tried going great lengths to make sure it didnt happen again. I got my t tested, got put on Cialis, started eating better, started working out, none of which seem to be making much of a difference. I kinda think that the first failure, which I believe was simply caused by too much alcohol, is still weighing on the back of my mind. As far as your second comment, we have definitely had a great time on each of our play dates, aside from the erection problems. I mean, I was content just watching the wife in action. Its just so hot watching her giving and receiving pleasure. This alone has made sure I have had a great time at each of our dates. But the one time that I was able to participate, that just took it to a whole other level. There is nothing quite like making out with your wife while she rides your best friend and your dick is in his wife doggy style. So, as much as I enjoy the oral play and the show my wife puts on, I just can't be satisfied until I can get back in the game. This last part is a reply to everyone. When we first started the night, we were just playing some games. There was lots of oral and manual stimulation and I was erect throughout. After the games, the wife's put on a show for about 30 minutes while us guys sat back and watched. Again, I was erect throughout. But when it came time for penetration, the erection quickly went away. Hell I was even erect watching my friend having his threesome with the wives but, once again, it went away every time I tried to join in. I eventually got off while receiving a double blowjob, so I guess it wasn't a complete failure. I just want to fix whatever the issue is before they decide to move along from us.

So, me and the wife are new to swinging. We have soft swapped several times and full swapped (or at least tried to full swap) 4 times. The problem is, I was only able to get hard enough for penetration one of those times, and that was only for a few minutes. Last night was another failure. I just need help finding out what the issue is. I mean, I am completely comfortable with this couple, I am very attracted to her, and I'm totally turned on by watching my wife with them, so it just doesn't make sense to me. I even took cialis last night to make sure everything went smoothly. Not even that could do the trick. Im to the point where I'm embarrassed and wondering if I should even try again. Advice?

Yes. It was going great and my dick was definitely ready to go this time around. But when the wife got sick, I shut it down. I feel we are too new to the game to fuck another woman without my wife's approval. I believe she would have been ok with it because she knew what was happening beforehand, but I've got too much respect for her to do that.

No. My wife is just a social drinker, it's very rare that she drinks at all. It's the other couple that loves the alcohol lol. They can drink as much as they want and not be effected. She just simply overdid it. We've all been there.

Just to update everyone, it was another failure. I controlled my alcohol intake and was ready to go this time around, but the wife did not. 5 minutes into a soft swap and she excused her self to the restroom. I checked on her when she did not return for a few minutes and I found her hunkered over the toilet throwing up. Needless to say, i helped her to bed and our night was finished. Some good did come from the night though. We found out that we wern't just a one and done for them, as they brought up the possibility of visiting a club together, which none of us have ever experienced. So, the future does look bright. Even the wife seems to be 100% on board now, as the next day after the alcohol had worn off and she was sober, she said "well, we have until April to make sure we work the kinks out." April being the next scheduled night with this couple.

I do. Its "embarrassed newbie". Its in the first experience forum

Will do! Hopefully everything well. I have been horny ever since they told me they were coming. My wife has been on her period all week as well, so my excitement has built up to a boiling point

Will do! Hopefully everything well. I have been horny ever since they told me they were coming. My wife has been on her period all week as well, so my excitement has built up to a boiling point

So, me and my wife have only swung once. It was a couple of months back with some longtime friends (See "Embarassed Newbie" in first swinging experiences). Well, this couple will be coming up to our town Saturday night. It will be the first time we have hung out since the encounter. They have already asked to sleep at our place and offered to bring the tequila, which is what fueled the last encounter, but also what I believe killed my erection. Nothing has been discussed as far as sex. As far as I know, it could just be a normal night with friends, but I desperately need to get my redemption from the last time. Any advice? Should I try to lead things in that direction, or just let things play out? Also, how can I limit my alcohol intake to avoid the problem I had last time without being seen as a party pooper? On a side note: I have recently acquired some viagra for the sole purpose of being prepared if this situation ever presented itself again. I have tried it while sober and it definitely lived up to the hype, but will this work if I have been drinking?

Feet!

It was natural, albeit slightly alcohol fueled. And I dont think we will have a problem finding others to play with. Surprisingly, on the night of the encounter, they told us they swing with 5 other couples that we have been friends with for years. Apparently, no one ever mentioned it because they saw my wife as the "wholesome" type and didn't think we would be into it.