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pleasuredeviant

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About pleasuredeviant

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    Contributor
  • Birthday 05/10/1979

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    Couple
  • Location
    Gary, Indiana
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    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. Check out Modern Family season 6, episode 5, tons of swinger jokes in that one.
  2. Clarification here, soft swap typically describes oral play with another couple, parallel play or same room sex is where you play with your partner next to another couple, exhibitionism and voyeurism are performing in front of or watching another couple play. And to the OP, it is very common to discuss your boundaries with other couples. Some will not want to play with you because you are new and have very low limits, others will be happy to help you along. Just be up front that you are newer, exploring and only interested in same room parallel play at this time, all very normal getting to know another couple in the lifestyle.
  3. Wow, great feedback, comments and observations from everyone! We recently heard a podcast from steak and tequila "getting into the swing of things" episode 16 focusing on apps and sites they use in their area (and have seen them posting here a bit...). They also used Tinder Bumble and Feeld with good success looking for single male and unicorns. Regarding one piece of feedback about our location being Gary, which is actually 23 miles from Chicago, is part of Chicagoland, and a very densely populated area. (We actually live on the beach at the edge of the city, with views of Chicago). Our location has never been an issue with 4 clubs within 30 miles and a regular hotel takover 30 minutes the other way in MI. The issue we see has been since the craigslist shutdown, most newbie couples seem a little lost in dipping their toes in. The apps seem to be providing another avenue. The one thing I do like about the main sites, (sls/szc) is that the couples that do join, pay and have good profiles tend to be a lot more commited to actually meeting, and I continue to recommend those highly to new couples, in addition to the new apps we have found fruitful. I wish one or more of the main sites would be a little more innovative and maybe bring their experience and solutions to the younger market.
  4. I can second this. I brought it up, asked her to watch an episode of playboy swing with me. She shut it down completely, and I felt guilty for bringing it up. The next day she said she felt bad for not being open to discussing, and then shared that she had some fantasies too. I then had to realize that she has a gangbamg fantasy.... we started light, went for a full swap, found it... now I am planning gangbangs. I never imagined that bringing this up would turn us into swingers, but, bringing it up did break down all of our walls and everything became a whole lot easier to talk about. Now I flirt with waitresses, she points out hot guys, we actually communicate everything. All the time. In fact. That alone was worth the step, even if we never tried anything. We share everything, always.
  5. I was going down on my partner, looked over and saw him grabbing a condom... then I heard moaning. I felt relieved, anxious, and conflicted all at once. Then my partner asked me to wrap it up and lets fuck. And I did, and I went soft. I sat on her lap and watched them fuck. Best 20 minutes ever. We were with a very experienced couple, and I had to experience that and will always be grateful to our first full swap couple. Now I plan gangbangs! Her getting fucked was my biggest fear, and now it's one of my favorite fantasies, crazy, but consistently true as mentioned many times in this thread. She is my favorite porn star, and getting to see it live is better than any porn ever.
  6. Exactly, knocking the big boys off their perch... after 2 days on 3fun, I have seen 10 of the same regular couples I normally see regularly logging into SLS, the same 10 couples I have seen for months (and we have met with 2 of them). In addition... we see 30+ new couples, all younger, never seen them before on any site. And we are talking to 3 of them now. They literally copied tinder, targeted swingers and did what feeld couldn't. Actually deliver connections. Agreed on the pricing, we are lifetime on sls and szc, got 1yr on kasidie for a steal, but was a waste. However, I would rather pay more to get actual connections with new friends than suffer though the decade old designs of the current sites and lack of new younger couples. Do we not want the next generations to embrace the lifestyle like we have?
  7. I have found 3 couple so far in 2 days that we plan to meet on 3fun, better success than I have found on any swinger site so far. Hands down. The only ones on sls it seems are the same ones, every day, every week. We are not club people (we have been to 4, 8 times) or destination swingers (feel free to donate to our hedo fund) We need sites and apps to connect with like minded couples in our area. Craigslist was the next best option, and we met just as many younger couples there as we did on the main sites. The current sites frankly stink and do no resonate with the newer generation, my perspective. Btw, for community benefit and personal curiosity, I check out feeld again, 3somer, and swingery, all sucked terribly. Feeld and swingery are using almost the exact same profile generation process, which means they are building the app using an app generation tool, and not actually investing in proper ux design and custom development around our community (20 yrs of design/ux experience here). Feeld required facebook login, supposedly to prevent you from being a fake, but did it anyways to test it. no swinger wants a facebook login for a swinger site or app... I cannot believe they think that is a reasonable requirement and actually understands our privacy needs. Virtually no users in our area (nwi/chicagoland), which tells me they all sucked and gave up. Also gave Kasidie and Swingtowns another look, nope, still terrible or no users in our area. So, for Chicagoland... swinglifestyle.com is the mainstay, 3fun has the younger crowd (and is growing), swingerzonecentral to the south and east. Please reply if this helped you, happy to check out new ones and share my thoughts.
  8. I am on a samsing s9+, 3fun works fine for me on android. I see the same mix of couples, single males and females as I do on sls, sdz, aff And no. I have no affiliation with 3fun. We run a meet and greet group on sls, and have enjoyed it, with the exception of no younger couples joining these sites, no updates to modernize the site, terrible group organization features, I could go on. Once a site has it's base in a region, there is no incentive to innovate, as couples are more or less 'forced' to use that site as that is where the couples are. I am excited about the healthy competition. I found my wife on tinder and always wondered why our community couldnt have the same. I had high hopes for feeld, but it never seemed to gain traction, 3fun seems to be pretty popular here in chicago. Will try feeld again and see how it has grown. If I log into sls right now, I will see tons of the same couples, and 10-15 new ones every week that never jump in and get a paid membership I log into 3fun, and I see some of the same couples, but a whole lot of new ones, and their demographics are younger.
  9. Advice, read the advice for single males threads extensively. Second no dick pics. The man will be screening you and will ask for them after a conversation is going (usually on kik, pick a good username like respectfulsmforcouples) Third, go to a local photo studio and spend 50 bucks for professional pics of you. You want a solid professional looking pic, a fun one, and a creative one that represents your personality. Your profile on the sites (sls, szc, kasidie,3fun,aff) must have a solid leading image. Not a selfie in the bathroom with your shirt off. Fourth, always introduce yourself as 'respectful, able to perform, and focused on helping a couple fulfill her fantasies'. This is not about you, but them inviting you in to fulfill a fantasy. I could go on, but those are the checkboxes that screen out 99% of the inquiries we get. And to your original question, absolutely. Almost every male half I have met loves having a good 3rd single male available to enable fantasies for the lady, we love watching out favorite porn star. At the same time, we have the highest expectations you could ever imagine to bring in and please our wives. And are very picky. Be patient, respectful and realistic. Expect rejection. Look at sm profiles and look for ones with certs. You can learn a lot from those profiles.
  10. We are a newer couple as well, can't afford hedo, but do well in our area using the sites. Etc. We jumped in head first. Full swap, all the way, and fell flat on our faces first time. Got back up and went to a club, wife got molested/grabbed by a couple single males, shit thought we were done...didn't give up. Went to another club, played with ourselves, and got an ovation from an audience at the end.... went to another club, met an experienced couple, and finally landed our first full swap. This all happened over 3 weeks. We had a lot of fun for the next 4 months, some good. Some learning experiences. We could not get enough.... then Vanilla life happened. I won custody of my kid, we took a break and really learned about patience, reconnecting and what it means to be a hobby for most couples. It is a balance, with ebs and flows depending on life. We are back in the swing of things now and learning our balance. Just part of the process.
  11. Our boundaries are defined like this, if we could technically be of parent age of one of the other couple, or them parent age of us it ain't gonna work. Beyond that, we are open to any age. We are 39/40, so 27-53. I can tell you this, older women... just know how to please a man. At the same time, younger men know how to pound the shit out of my wife, better than I can in some cases. (But too young they are like a firecracker)
  12. I would recommend a sex therapist/consultant, to help guide you through the conversation and open up. One of the best parts of swinging is breaking down all the walls of communication and fears. Complete honesty appreciation and awareness of yours and your partners fantasies, whether you are willing to enable them or not. It is getting over the fears together and building your trust with one another. Even with zero play, just having the conversations and seeing out trust build through the conversations has been amazing. If you really want to break that wall down, a marriage counselor will not do it, but a sex therapist might help you along. What an earlier reply stated, jumping into this will amplify everything, and any flaws will crack quickly. A good foundation is best place to start. Ask her about her fantasies, probe her with questions. Has she ever fantasized about being with another woman, a man, or getting gangbanged... my wife never told me these things until we explored the conversation together. I learned she is a very cock hungry slut, and am happy to help her realize those fantasies. She learned I am a milf chasing, redhead loving man whore, and she trys to pick them up when we are out. Even if we never tried any of this, the building of our trust has been the best part. Swinging does not fix anything, it will only amplify any issues. If swinging is a fantasy for you, your goal is to build your trust with her to share that and trust she will hear you. Even if she is not interested in exploring it, and be willing to hear hers as well. If you take the porn route... play an episode of playboy tv swing from pornhub. Tell her this is interesting and you are curious to what she thinks. Do NOT expect a positive response. Give it a week, tell her it kinda turned you on and ask if she'd watch another episode with you. Go from there... best of luck!
  13. check out the 3fun app as well, it's tinder for swingers.
  14. We actually had great success meeting newbies in our area using cl, as a lot start there. We also advertised meet and greets there and got 3-4 new couple from cl. Doublelist has a long way to grow in terms of popularity and awareness though.
  15. 3fun, 3fun, 3fun. It is tinder for swingers and growing like crazy. Best part is you can phone register without facebook. Came to the scene late last year. Checked it out today and holy crap are there a lot of couples and single males/females on there in our region (north west indiana and chicagoland). It is free like tinder, with a paid version like tinder with benefits. Very well done and best of all. Active users. It looks like they started out as a straight hookup site targeting gay, bi, trans, poly, etc, and then learned about this market of 3-some and swingers, tuned it to focus on that. All we see are couples and singles looking for 3somes and full swaps.
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