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Alex77

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About Alex77

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 10/23/1977

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Bisexual married couple m/f
  • Location
    Anaheim CA
  • Anniversary
    12/1/2009

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    davitaruby

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  1. I can understand the dilemma. My wife and I were both in the lifestyle and are now going to be going through the process of divorce (not because of the lifestyle, but because of other issues) and now I am in a little fear that I may hit the wall that some single guys hit due to the guys who are not in the actual lifestyle but are cheaters or trying to just get laid. To be honest I would have thought it would be easier for ladies that are in my situation, so I am curious to how this will work out.
  2. My wife and I were in the lifestyle together, due to us going in different paths that I could no longer follow, we are getting a divorce. I know she will be okay and I see her active sometimes on our lifestyle accounts. But what ends up happening to the men in the lifestyle that became single. We already got enough men out there that are pretators. I don’t want to seen as one. What happens to guys like me now?
  3. Same here. It was hard to fit in anywhere. I ended up being in two different closets. But ended up married to this wonderful woman. She knows I am bi and so is she. But yes I am fully bisexual.
  4. Okay. Wow. Eye opener. Wife and I are both bisexuals. Having said that, I don't enjoy being a top but I guess if the situation is right I would. I am a bottom but never really enjoyed giving head. After talking it over with my wife we came to the conclusion that it is probably steming from really horrible experiences with past partners. After reading all these comments I am wondering what is it that I am missing. Everyone is boasting about it. My wife now admits that it would be hot to see me with another man, I guess I was really deep in the closet that altho it sounds hot I am still in the unbelieving stage. I guess my original fantasy was so basic as to be able to be with a partner that knew I am bi and that they would accept me for being me. No judgments. I finally have a woman who loves me for me and knows what I am. Now all sorts of doors are opening in our relationship that maybe giving it another go at it sounds like a possibility and intriguing. It took me years to finally come out to my wife.
  5. Lol. Thank you. We were looking at that one too.
  6. Wondering if there are any local people to us that could recommend a club for us.
  7. I love you baby. And sorry for reinforcing your belief that you were broken. I hope you now know that you are not broken, just not fully awake. And you are waking up now. I love you more and more everyday.
  8. Oh sorry, I did not mean it like that. I really need to make sure how things sound like before I write. We are not intimidated by people or their looks. We also have full trust in each other otherwise we would not have been thinking about this. What i meant is that we are scared that no one would give us the time of day. After what you said here actually puts me a little more at rest. I thank you for that. We are very excited about this. Now trying to find out if there is a club near us that we could check out. The thing is finding them. Lol
  9. Thank you and thank you for the response. Yea I guess I can see that now that you mentioned it. Maybe making friends here as well since here you can see everyone's intentions. We do want to play with other couples bit I wondered if they would even talk to us if we had said we were looking for a couple to hang out with first. Maybe go to a club together. I am really happy that we found this forum. We have been looking around and have been reading a lot. Even posted a big thread. It the answers were helpful. It is actually what got my wife and I in sync.
  10. So my wife and I are finally in sync. Now we both know that we were moving way too fast. Now that we are in sync with each other we have started to be more open and transparent with our fantasies and our feelings. We know now that we want to start by going to a club and watch and maybe even play with each other and not with a couple. YET. But now we are wondering if there is such a thing as being able to find a couple that has been in the lifestyle for a good minute that could hang out with us and maybe mentor us. I hope that makes sense. That they would be local enough were they would know the scene around the area. Where to actually find local clubs. We really believe in etiquette, but again, would be nice to be able to talk to someone about those things. Nothing beats a face to face conversation, and this we believe would be great. A couple that would not be expecting to have a play time with us. That sounded mean. I mean that we don't have to be attracted to each other to be able to have a friendship that would guide us through the our beginning.
  11. Okay. There is a new update. So my wife and I have had time to actually have an honest and transparent conversation and I think we understand each other better. She knows what my concerns were and I now understand her better. Before me, she had some really bad experiences with her previous boyfriends. But she never really new any better. Her sex life was not that great and she felt like her equipment was broken. She new how to get her self off but even then it took her a while. And to make matters worse, I was not any better then them. It all came down to communication that opened the gates. From the beginning she had told me that she was really hard to please. And to an extent she had proved it during our sexy time. There were a lot of things she would not allow me to do due to being tickled near certain areas. Soft and Sensual she said she had no real feeling and when I go down on her it would take her so long that even she would get frustrated. After a few years, I finally had the guts to come out of the closet to her about my bisexuality. One of her old friends let some information out of the bag that she is a bisexual too. (I know this seems like I am getting of topic but it all ties in, I swear) I had already come to terms that I would not have sex with anyone else again. It did not go as well as I hoped. It was a big shock for her and I get it, it was understandable. I did not think she would react like that since she herself is bisexual. She said that she did not tell me because all the guys that knew, always thought that was a free ticket to threesomes and those were not on the table. Remember how I said that she thought her equipment was broken? Funny thing is that she did not tell me because she thought that by me knowing, I would assume that she just wanted to get with a girl. She assumed that I wanted to be with a guy and would leave her. It took a while but finally she calmed down and realized that I love her above all else and that she is my world. But the sex was still the same. She eventually came up with an idea from her sister that this was a good thing and to think about the doors this would open for her to explore her sexuality and share it with me. And she got excited. Seeing her get excited got me excited. But we were going at it all wrong. Super rushing, and she would dictate to me what we should be writing on our profile for dating. And that is where I saw the red flag. Hence me asking the original question to you all. I am happy to say that we have had a more detailed talk and she started to do some research herself and saw where we were headed. I had told her if she only gave me a chance I think I can help. I found out that since she had a certain expectation of what it normally is, that she did not allow her self to be satisfied. From just talking and being open and really telling all to each other, she started to get wet. Something she normally does not do. This was my ticket in. I know she is turned on and took the reins and did not let her dictate what was about to happen. I gave her SLOW AND SENSUAL and it became INTENSE. She had an orgasm that was not felt before and was shocked to see what can happen with this new form for her. I was able to make this feeling last a little longer for her since I had full control of our tempo. And right when I saw her arching so hard and really getting loud that you could see she was about to explode that is when I became savage and just switched gears and gave it to her fast hard and with no mercy. She lay there quivering. And was speechless. And all she can say after that was "wow, I am a believer". After this we made love a second time and this time she was able to get more out of the experience. Sad to say that after all these years and 4 kids later, we had finally made love for the first time. That was three days ago and now she has been wanting me every night since. And she has been more open about her fantasies. I feel like this is the beginning of something beautiful. We decided that we still want to go forward with the lifestyle and she is very exited to watch me be with a man. But this time we are taking things slowly. We have been changing our profile and it no longer says full Swap. We are not ready yet. We are doing this for the right reasons now. Later once we both feel comfortable we will go to the next step and actually engage. Right now we just want to go to clubs and maybe parties. But mainly to watch and maybe find a couple that is willing to have fun with their own partner but in the same room with us. Having sex while someone else in the room sounds really sexy to both of us. Now what we are truly looking for is a couple that even if they are not interested in us per say sexuality would become good friends with us and maybe mentoring us through this lifestyle. I don't know if such a thing exist but hoping it does. Sorry for rambling but I needed to get that off my chest. It was not fair to just leave this story unfinished. I feel like someone else might come through with a similar problem. And maybe this thread will help them as well. In the spirit of full transparency to my lovely wife who is the best woman in the world and I could not see myself living without her. I am going to link her to this whole thread and she can read everyone's responses as well as my own. That way she can call BS if she sees it. Hopefully she will put in her two cents or opinions in the matter on this thread so that it helps another new comer. Thank you for taking the time to read all this and am very grateful that a forum like this exists and is there to help us out in our new adventure.
  12. Thank you for your responses. The reason I was asking is because my wife really enjoys hard sex, "Fucking" which I am okay with. My preference is slow and Sensual. I like to savor the moment. She is a hard person to please and I have come to terms with this but sometimes I can't keep up. Going fast and hard from the gate will not allow me to last at all. She says that going slowly makes her not really feel anything. When you just go fast and hard all the time, even tho I ejaculate, it's just not an orgasm per say. I feel nothing. And she doesn't get off ether because it's fast. Maybe I am just not made right, but can guys really keep up that intensity for long periods of time? We are super new to the lifestyle and we are both very excited to start this new adventure but I am hoping that we are not doing this for the wrong reasons. I feel like this could go horribly wrong if we are doing this because she feels I am inadequate or just unable to please her. I want to make sure that we are on the same page and that our relationship as a whole is not in a rocky situation. I have read here that that could lead to all sorts of bad if you start this lifestyle and you are not really into your own partner. Or your relationship is on the rocks.
  13. I bring up this question because my wife loves to have sex fast, hard, and rough. So my question to both women and men is: What is your preference? Rough sex (fast and hard) or Sensual sex (slow and Sensual)? I'm really curious how many are into ether, or just one of these.
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