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just_learning

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About just_learning

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 10/16/1983

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  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Canada
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ALL OF THE AMAZING ADVICE AND FEEDBACK! Everything you guys have told me has made me feel more confident and aware of the situation I am currently in. I have no idea if/when something will happen I promise to come back and provide an update!
  2. Luvin eye full I certainly agree with you! - me and my wife have been talking about this for 4 years and are on the same page. As for Mr and Mrs Y I am confident that they are able to communicate what they are/aren't comfortable with. Thanks to the great advice from everyone, I'll make sure that every point is discussed by all of us in detail.
  3. Wow cplnuswing!!! I never thought of that. Thinking back maybe they were sending out signals to feel us out without knowing that they were the subject of our fantasies for years? I can't say that it's not possible and it's making me think of this whole thing a bit differently. I have to say that the story Alura told about the couple who had only been with each other kind of rings true with them, Here is a bit more background info: They have also been dating since high school and Mrs. Y is the only woman he has been with. Mrs. Y was rather frisky before meeting Mr. Y but that didn't last long after they started dating. She told me how she liked making out with other girls, giving lap dances and just being a bit wild. He was actually the one who wasn't in favour of this behaviour. I guess her experience may have intimidated him? Maybe now he is curious to see what's out there and she wants to let loose a bit again? Mrs. Y certainly seems to be composed and able to talk about this subject in a very mature fashion. I know it was just texting and all but she seemed to be pretty in control. At one point during the conversation the back and forth went something like this. Please keep in mind that I am paraphrasing here: -- Me: Mrs X knows I'm very attracted to you and it has never bothered her Mrs Y: Well she knows that nothing would ever happen Mrs Y: Without everyone's consent -- I guess I'm just thinking out loud now but your theory does seem to have some merit, cplnuswing. Now as for your other point about "treading carefully". Do you really think Mrs. Y would have such an open conversation even including questions about swapping in the same room or a different room if they were nothing but talk? If I had no interest in doing this with someone I would put an end to the possibility of it becoming a reality. But I guess I'm also not the type to tease. Lot's to think about!!
  4. Alura I think you have given me the best possible strategy to not only give this a chance at being a great long-term relationship but to also be mature and sensitive to everyone's needs and feelings. And I really believe you when you say this situation hit home for you because the things you're saying almost seem like you're reading my mind! Can't thank you enough for all the help! Did you ever encounter any challenges? Anything in particular that seems to bother people or catch them off guard?
  5. I 100% see where you're coming from and based on your question of "what then?" I wish I had an answer. Do you have any suggestions as to what could be done as far as damage control? I thought that Alura's idea of taking things one small step at a time is a good way of seeing what we are/aren't comfortable with and avoiding a collapse. Instead if something small bothers one of us, maybe it's less of a risk that it will cause irreversible damage to the friendship? The conversation we had over text was candid and we both let our opinions and feelings on the situation be known so I don't think they were joking but of course you never know until you pull the trigger. I also don't want to rush because we all have some things we want off of our list of things to do so we can go into this a little more relaxed. This whole thing is just a bit overwhelming because none of us are into this lifestyle nor do we want to be with anyone else. We have developed a very open friendship over the years and intimate feelings have developed and this goes without question. Thank you so much for your input!
  6. I totally see where you are going here. Start out small and work your way up but ONLY if something like making out, cuddling or petting has a good vibe. The idea of having Mrs. X be the one to bring it up is a great idea. To be honest, Mrs. Y is a pretty good communicator as well and can be the one to ignite the fire. Thanks so much for the input Alura, huge help!
  7. Thank you for your response. I did try a few different searches but didn't find much in the way of advice from people who have done this successfully. I do understand the risk and really appreciate your response.
  8. Hi everyone, Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! Me and my wife (Mr & Mrs X) for now have been together for 6 years and during that time our relationship has not opened up to anyone but we do role play and fantasize in bed about other people. These are usually people we know (friends, exes and sometimes just faceless, fictional people). This has been part of our sex life for almost the entire time we have been together. Also for the better part of the past 6 years we have incorporated a couple that I have known for 10 years (Mr & Mrs Y) and my wife has known since we got together. I should also mention that my wife is not as enthusiastic about this fantasy as I am but when I mention Mr. Y to her during foreplay she goes crazy and sometimes even orgasms on the spot. Me and Mrs. X have talked about what would happen if this fantasy ever became a reality and she has agreed to try it out but I feel it's more to fulfill my fantasy even though she is sexually attracted to him. Point is, she is OK with doing it. Over the years Mr. & Mrs. Y (especially Mrs. Y) have dropped subtle hints and joked about swapping wives but we never acted on it or followed up due to fear that we would freak them out. I should mention that these jokes or comments were harmless and anyone with a diverse enough sense of humor might say it. About a month ago Mrs. Y admitted to me (in front of Mr. Y) that she had a vivid sex dream about Mr. Y, her and myself having a threesome. Mr. Y seemed OK with that and was laughing and saying things like "you gotta have an open mind". Later that same night Mrs. Y and me were texting back and fourth and her dream came up. This opened the conversation and I ended up telling her that we have fantasized about them for quite some time. She admitted that she was attracted to me and knew that Mr. Y and Mrs. X also had chemistry. We even started talking about preference of being in the same room or a different room. This whole experience has been crazy and we are still feeling things out and talking to our partners and each other. As much as I want to do this I know from reading about this kind of thing that it's very risky. Does anyone have any suggestions or point me towards a thread that I may have missed in order to better understand how to be as safe as possible in this situation? I should also mention that the 4 of us are not interested in opening up to any other couples. The idea is that we would get together once every few months as we are all very busy and Mrs. X and myself have 2 young children. So this wouldn't be a frequent occurrence. Thanks again and I really appreciate the information I've been able to gather thus far from this community!
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