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CostaRica

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  • Content Count

    65
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    4

CostaRica last won the day on December 4 2016

CostaRica had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

130 Excellent

About CostaRica

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 06/23/1983

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple - She Posts
  • Location
    Idaho
  • Swinging Experience
    6 years
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    Costarica619
  1. Well, it really depends on how much of a relationship you're looking for. If you're talking "we all move in together and look after each other's children" then you're firmly in polyamory territory. But if you're looking for "we're good friends who care about each other, see each other once or twice a month, maybe vacation together and like to screw" you can definitely find that within the swinger community.
  2. I definitely like to have my buzz on, but if I had my way I would probably be buzzed every time I have sex. If I'm sober I'm just far too in my head and struggle to let myself go to the experience, I still have fun but it's not the all consuming full body experience that I have with a few drinks in me.
  3. The thing is, those micro gestures aren't something he can make happen, if he felt the way you want him to feel those gestures would be subconscious.
  4. This is bugging me now because I cannot remember the first time I squirted, I know I did it some with my ex, and sometimes I do it through masturbation. My current husband can make me do it pretty much on command and his favorite trick is showing my play partners how to get that response from me. I don't remember doing it when I was very young because I'm sure I would have remembered hiding all that mess from my parents, so I'm guessing I started sometime in my early 20s but by then I'd been having sex for years, so it must be learnable to an extent, but just like most physical things not everyone will be able to do it (world class athletes learn how to do the things they do, it doesn't mean that anyone can do what they do)
  5. Have you ever noticed how, when you're attracted to someone, you're a lot more open to their physical differences. For instance you could see someone you're not attracted to with a mole on their face and mentally recoil, but you see it on Cindy Crawford and suddenly that exact same mole is sexy? Well this is the same thing, if someone is attracted to your husband his disability is going to be a complete non issue, and anyone who thinks it's an issue probably wouldn't have been attracted to him anyway.
  6. By the time my husband told me he loved me I had already left my life and my country and moved halfway around the world to be with him, so I can totally understand "knowing" that someone loves you even when they're not very verbal about it. BUT I don't think you're getting the non verbal signals either, the little passing caresses and looks that let people like cplnuswing know you're in love with each other and let you feel secure in the relationship. I don't think this is really about the big gestures, sexting or anything else, this is about a lack of micro gestures that show someone's true feelings regardless of what they say or don't say. In order to be a happy swinger, you have to feel loved, not just think you're loved, but feel it in the very core of your being, that's what gives the confidence to share your partner, because you know that that love is there. I'm sorry but I don't think you have that with your current partner and until you do, swinging will always be an uncomfortable experience for you.
  7. We had an amazing couple who were new but dove right in, then after a while they said they were taking a break because he needed surgery, they subsequently deleted our ongoing kik chat and we never heard from them again. We pretty much shrugged and carried on carrying on, who knows what is going on in their relationship. I once went through a phase where I couldn't even stand to hear my husband comment that he found another woman attractive (which is especially weird when you consider that I'm bi and love looking at other women). I wasn't feeling completely comfortable and appreciated in the relationship so all extra curricular activity stopped until I was feeling secure and appreciated again.
  8. Depends how you define swinging, I was a unicorn for the first time around age 17, had my first 4some at 26, started calling myself a "swinger" at age 32
  9. As a woman I can honestly say that 95% of the time when I fuck a new guy I have a great time, but I don't expect a new guy to know how to push the right buttons so I take responsability for my own satisfaction, I will be vocal about what I want and will even play with myself during because I know what I like. While there are some genuinely bad fucks out there (and the sauna guy you described sounds like he fits in that category) by far most men enjoy seeing a woman excited and having fun.
  10. Honestly, you're going to struggle, single women are hard to find in the lifestyle, and the ones there are have their pick of couples, they're highly unlikely to give you a freebie with no chance of reciprocation when they have 10 other couples lined up with bi women and men who are able to fuck them. I'm sorry, but what you're looking for is going to be next to impossible to find.
  11. Firstly, remember that you absolutely do not have to agree with this if you don't want to. This is a two yes one no situation and if you're not 100% then your no should halt all proceedings. If on the other hand this is something that you want to do, you are intellectually happy with the idea but are just dealing with some misbehaving emotions, then I would start by figuring out why you're anxious. What is the fear or worry that you have. Figuring that out is usually the first step to overcoming anxiety of any sort.
  12. I've never played with someone who has had a Ileostomy, but if I were to I would probably have some concerns that would need to be addressed, mainly because I would be worried about hurting someone/causing problems. What happens if I knock the bag, could that hurt your wife? I would hope that the playmate in question would be upfront about it and have a statement to help me understand what is and isn't OK. Simply saying something like "I have this, this is what it's for, it's covered with a strap, don't worry if you knock or bump it, you can't hurt me or dislodge it or anything like that" would probably be enough for me to feel comfortable playing.
  13. It wouldn't be a red flag for me, maybe she has 0 voyeuristic tendencies, maybe she doesn't like to be watched, maybe she doesn't like seeing other women naked, there could be lots of good reasons to have that rule. The only thing you have to decide is if it works for you and if it doesn't move on
  14. Her saying that she wouldn't be jealous after you have kids is a huge red flag. Nothing about having kids makes people suddenly less jealous or more secure. People who don't want to fuck women before they have kids generally don't want to fuck women after they have kids. (I mean, I'm guessing you're a straight male, will having kids make you secure enough to fuck another man?). This woman doesn't want to swing, she wants to have kids and is betting that if she tells you what you want to hear now, you will let it drop after you become a dad. You guys are headed for a very unhappy relationship if you continue down this path.
  15. So what you're actually looking for is a man to be exclusive with you with more of the relationship aspects of spending time together and hanging out, almost more like dating? It sounds to me like you might be treading the line between swinging and poly (which doesn't have to mean all three of you live together, it can be more casual dating). In a poly relationship you would have more luck setting up dates, hanging out more and being able to set the expectation with your third about how much dating was acceptable within the relationship. If that's the direction you want to go then you might want to try having your girlfriend find single men in vanilla settings and then introduce them to the idea of a threesome. You're going to be hard pushed to find a single man in the swinging world, single or not, who wants to date and be exclusive because that's not what they're there for in my experience. Heck even most couples are into swinging for the variety and tend to dislike being exclusive (though it does happen from time to time, generally after couples have been seeing each other a while).
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