Jump to content

Niknmik

Registered
  • Content Count

    24
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    1

Niknmik last won the day on September 16 2016

Niknmik had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

161 Excellent

About Niknmik

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 07/16/1988

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    New England�
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. We're Christian Universalists so we see life as a forest and religion and spirituality as just differing paths through that forest to the end destination. I respect atheists and their point of view-- I'm personally convinced that God is real and my own feeling is that we are all connected via God's spark in all of us. I don't feel like sex and bodily pleasure is sinful.. just like enjoying a good meal isn't gluttony, asking for a raise at work isn't avarice, etc. To me the big difference is in the intention and execution. If everyone is on board and excited, there's zero moral or ethical dilemma with having sex. Using your body to connect to another person is not inherently bad. We live in a hard world, the pleasure we can get from our bodies is a softness that's a beautiful gift.
  2. Just speaking for myself as a pansexual person, I have big breasts and I am probably most attracted to smaller breasts in other women. Something about the contrast really does it for me on a mental level. That being said in general I don't tend to scrutinize or linger over other people's bodies in a bad way. Maybe some other people are different but when I'm mentally attracted, I naturally focus on what I find attractive about their body and everything else kind of fades away. Even stuff like amazing eyes, big hands, a really delicate neck, etc.
  3. My husband and I are pretty new into the lifestyle and I felt very insecure because despite being at a healthy weight, I have loose skin and stretch marks and my boobs aren't what they used to be. Our first experience went really well and the thing that helped me to just relax and let go was to realize that there isn't a person who has ever existed that would be every human being's cup of tea. I tend towards needing an emotional and mental connection to feel attraction, and my husband is mostly a man of simple tastes and because of that, we seem to have plenty of options for finding new friends and play partners. We had a really good talk last night because a much older couple we're trying to arrange a date with admitted they feel very apprehensive because we're by far the youngest couple that's shown interest. We've exchanged tons of pictures and they've repeatedly been like "We're not physically flawless" and while I am attracted to the vulnerability and honesty they've shown by talking to us, I know that the only way they'll probably fully put aside their fears is when we meet up. My husband made the point to me that porn isn't reality and it's ridiculous to judge yourself against it. I think he has a seriously valid perspective and I realized that yeah, I am really harsh to my body because I'm not looking at the human population as a whole, I'm looking at a tiny little slice that's airbrushed and produced and put under the exact right lighting. I think as long as you're both going to be open, be a little vulnerable, and realize that you're gonna be having some fun with other human beings and not living sex toys, things will be ok. The swinging community isn't filled with airbrushed porn stars but real people with all sorts of physical attributes and all sorts of preferences.
  4. I definitely think we're probably our own worst critics. We've been talking with another couple and getting close to setting up a date to get together and meet and they seemed shocked that we were very interested because they're about 20 years older than us. My husband says porn sets up group sex to look like an airbrushed thing so that's probably why we felt so insecure heading into it, I think he may be onto something!
  5. No offense meant but this would probably push us from being play partners to becoming people who would ghost. I want to feel comfortable but if someone talked about wanting to date my husband and get comfortable with him in a romantic capacity I'd probably freak out a bit internally and be like "We're not getting together with them again." I'm into being non-monogamous but I am not ok even a little bit with us dabbling in polyamory. Obviously you need to find your own sweet space/grey area like you said, but I'd urge you to be cognizant that what you're looking for is something a lot of us have rules explicitly against.
  6. I'm going to be very frank here but.. if my husband wasn't as enthusiastic as I am about exhibitionism and non-monogamy, I'd probably back off and forget about it. The thought of my husband going to the club with me because he felt he had to makes me feel ill. I know he didn't and we had a great time, but it really sounds like she's "taking one for the team" right now. In your shoes I'd stop pushing and just honor that she's not ok with non-monogamy.
  7. Yeah we were kind of "negative" going in. I assumed my bit of stomach from pregnancy/c-sectionc and not having perfect and perky boobs would knock me down and my husband was a bit like... "Uh who's going to want to sleep with me?" I was like "Well I like sleeping with you!" and he was like "No one gives a crap about a half inch of loose skin". We decided to let the fear go and just go have some fun public sex and we bumped into some awesome and sexy people! I'd be lying if I didn't admit we both hope we get a hard swap at the party in a couple of weeks but even if we "just" end up screwing each other with an audience, that's totally ok. Having M tell me about how awesome it was to watch me suck another guy off, I really hope I get the chance to watch him go down on another lady!
  8. I got off from my own fingers, and my husband certainly took care of me when we got back to the hotel! Her husband got her off as she was licking me clean, so we were both definitely taken care of! I agree though, can't wait to play some more if they're up for it!
  9. I'm definitely glad we approached things without a bunch of expectations and criteria! We'd obviously talked a lot about how we felt about the lifestyle in general but because we went only expecting to have sex with each other, the other fun we had was a great bonus! It was also a great reassurance that neither of us get jealous seeing each other enjoy someone else, we were both a little nervous that we liked the idea of it but the reality may be a bit too intense and it's so nice that wasn't the case!
  10. My husband and I went to a club this last weekend and we had no expectations. Our "goal" for the evening was to go and have sex in one of the windowed play rooms and that was basically it. While we were there I made a connection with another woman and we danced, had some drinks, and then she leaned in and asked me if I thought sucking her husband's dick would be fun. Her husband was very attractive to me and my husband liked him a lot so they led us to a room and things got hot and heavy really quick. She told me she was going to give me a "lesson" and started going down on my husband and pulled off every couple of moments to say what she was doing and why I need to do the same for her guy. We ditched our clothes and I started trying to emulate what she had did while she watched and stroked my husband. The hottest moment was when she told my husband to "hold on" because she has to help me "take him deeper" and she came over and started rubbing on my body but pushed my head even further down so I was basically choking on him. I started rubbing myself at that point and she told me I was "such a good girl" and I swear to god I think I will get myself off thinking about her saying that for years to come, haha. She went back to pleasuring my husband and as I noticed her guy was getting close, I pulled off and said I wanted him to finish on my chest and for her to lick it off. She grabbed me and told me to start sucking on my husband while she finished her own off on my chest and started licking me. My husband exploded and then her and I had a lovely deep kiss afterwards and we just kind of hung out for a bit enjoying the afterbuzz. We got their number and apparently there's a party coming up in October that's a resort takeover and we're going to try hard to go! After we got back to our hotel we had the craziest sex I think we've ever had, like he shoved me up against the window and nailed me. Yesterday my husband randomly texted me, "I love that other people get to know what naughty things you can do with your sweet mouth" and it took all of my self control to not insist he leave work and come fuck me immediately, haha. We're both really happy with how things went down. I am a fitness freak and careful with my body. I obviously am attracted to and in love with my husband but he's not so into dieting and fitness and we both felt concern that I'd get interest from the male partner but the female partner wouldn't be so into it. I was surprised this couple was so into us because in my perception they were way more attractive but I'm not complaining!
  11. My husband isn't remotely bisexual but gets turned on by the thought of me getting off with anyone else, man or woman. He's not possessive. I don't think it's at all about evolution or anything, but I think you're being very simplistic when you talk about "wiring". Being pre-disposed to non-monogamy likely goes hand in hand with whatever factors result in people not being jealous or possessive of their sexual partners. There's no moral or ethical attachment to it, just that society tells us its wrong to have these feelings so it can be liberating to give the finger to society and indulge them anyway. My husband and I went to a club this last weekend for the first time and I ended up giving oral to another man and he gave no indication he was uncomfortable or threatened. I don't think it's condescending to say that it doesn't bother him. I don't think there's anything strange or unnatural about a man who's comfortable watching his partner with a different penis than his own.
  12. I can't feel a difference but I'm more sore afterwards usually. - N
  13. I used to work in a book store and I read 50 Shades of Grey just to try to get why so many people were wanting to buy it from us. That statement makes me think of the whole message of those books..."If you love someone enough it erases all kinky desires and they just want to have vanilla monogamous sex with you until the end of time!" Why not just de-activate the profile? Why advertise and try to gloat that they're "above" the lifestyle? My feeling is that this couple is into drama and is seeking it out. It's ok if they just like to watch, there's no shame in that, but I would want nothing to do with them because they clearly can't be honest or honorable.
  14. I'll be the voice of dissent and say I hated it even after trying to love it when my husband bought us one to play with�. Direct stimulation to my clit feels painful to me when I'm at peak arousal �and I prefer g-spot stimulation and clit stimulation that's less direct (through fabric, squeezing my lips together to rub it, etc). During penetration I HATE for anyone to touch my clit directly because it's so sensitive. I found the Hitachi to be way too overpowering as a result. Anal play is another story though and I think vibration feels soothing and relaxing, so that's honestly what we use ours for, pressed up against there until I orgasm and relax enough to take stuff without fighting it/clenching.
×
×
  • Create New...