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Bedmates

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    41
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About Bedmates

  • Rank
    Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Baltimore, MD
  • Interests
    Cars and intimate times!
  • Occupation
    Business Manager
  • Swinging Experience
    Our first encounter was in August of 2000.
  1. Thick, by all means. 6.5 is the depth limit, and some angles that is too long!
  2. If not inside, then the tummy so she can watch. I find women like to see that. My wife prefers inside or swallow if it's me, the face if she's giving oral to someone else ('cause someone else is usually behind her and she can't move around much), or the back or tummy depending on how she's being had. She like to watch men squirt too.
  3. I disagree that you were the only one that was matter-of-fact. The way it all read seemed like you were direct and then others took their shots - well meaning as they were, but together overwhelming. I certainly wasn't trying to place blame, merely expressing my observation. My guess would be that he felt ganged-up on, which is how I read it as well. You points and concerns are valid and quite possible accurate. We don't know the real intent and are only guessing. To suggest rape is rather strong, but it certainly didn't seem like he was in it for her. I just think this was a case that should've been taken slowly, that's all. I'm certain that everybody meant well, but I think it was a bit much when added up. I also agree that he should've stuck it out. I believe someone stated "if you can't take the answer, don't ask the question." If you post a question on a forum like this, you have to understand that you're going to get all kinds of opinions and just deal with it. Unfortunately, he didn't have the patience for that. Personally I saw a problem and would've preferred to talk him through it for the sake of his wife (first) and his marriage (second) - both seemingly in jeopardy. I'll move to your post to discuss specifics if you like.
  4. While I fully understand each position presented - and agree with almost all of it - I think the approach here was not the best. This was a newbie that was having high levels of fantasy frustration. This can get to a male when you spend too many hours within XXX and mentally living through fantasies. You can start to think that your wife has all the same thoughts a feelings within her and you need to drag them out. But, in reality she's worried about anything but sex. What needed to happend here was a brake job. He needed to be slowed down, sat down, and brought back to reality. He needed to know that there is a way to approach this, but forcing it into his plans and timetable is not the way to go about it. Instead he was beaten up, slapped upside the head, called names, and accused of wanting to do horrible things to the woman he's loved enough to stay married to for 20 years. When talking to newbies, remember that you aren't talking to peers. In many years of marriage counselling, there were only two cases I can recall where brute force was applicable. In one case I didn't use it, the marriage failed, and I later learned that brute force may have helped. In the second case I used brute force and saved a 5-year marriage. Finesse is an art. Sometimes you just need to first gain someones confidence, then sit them down, calm them down, talk thing out, then help them change their course. I think this is a terrific site with many talented, educated, and experienced people that for the most part are concerned for everyone they touch. Take this in the spirit it was intended - to add to the help. I don't mean it to be critical.
  5. I was in the exact same situation. Experience on my side, little to none on hers. I liked to do all sorts of things and she was just a lay-there-and-enjoy-it type. So, I started by introducing talk - asking what she liked while we did it. I even asked her what she'd prefer to call certain things. Some prefer the P word, some the C word (vagina is too vanilla!). Finally one day I asked her if it was true that all women had the same fantasy as guys - two on one. She blushed and after some stumbling admitted that it was for some women. I zero'd in. She finally admitted that she'd thought about it, but not with anyone in particular and that she'd NEVER do it. I kept talking about it and assured her that I had no problem with her finding other men attractive - it's only natural. I assured her that sex and love aren't the same and that maybe women just can't separate them like men can. To make a long story short within a year we had our MFM. We found a fellow on-line and got to know him. I told her we could just do oral and she said "No. If we're going to do this then I want the freedom to fuck him if I want to." I was stunned. That was the most exciting thing I'd ever heard! Now I knew it was going to happen. She started getting really excited about it and the e-mails that those two exchanged were breath-taking! The whole experience was perfect. Don't rush it. Let it evolve. Don't make it happen in July if it doesn't flow. You do NOT want her feeling like she's letting that guy do her because it is what YOU want. It has to be because SHE wants to. Good luck. Wish I were the lucky guy!
  6. You're exactly right. Some are confusing MMF with MFM. The question is about MMF. In that case, there IS interraction between the men - the woman is not the center of attention, one of the men is. In MMF, you cold have things like 1 licks her while 2 blows him. Or, 1 blows 2 while she blows 1. Or, the couple both suck and lick their new friend. At any rate, don't confuse with MFM - that's our favorite!!
  7. For us, it's her rule - no kissing. She feels it's too intimate. I respect her position but hope that it changes! We've only done one MFM then took a 3-year break to have a kid. We're ready to really get started and hope to learn tips from the pros here! Maybe I'll show her this thread and let her think about her no-kissing rule!
  8. The only thing we've done so far was a MMF. Rather, MFM. He and I stayed at either end and switched periodically. The only time it was a little awkward was when she was on her back for him and I was on my knees by her head so she could suck me. Well, he started to lean forward over her and kept getting lower and lower. I got a little uncomfortable, so I just backed off and watched her get a really good screwing. It was awesome for her, and really exciting for me. We're looking forward to doing that again!!
  9. After searching and searching, I found a female of a couple that was really attractive and very interested. I thought things were set for a foursome - finally! Well, my wife is 9 years younger than me. It turned out that the husband is 15 years older than the wife (making him 24 years older than my wife). My wife couldn't fine a man of her father's age attractive, so it didn't happen. We're still looking!
  10. We just need to find ways to meet people. We want to, we're just very nervous about it all (and timid). There has to be an easy way to get started! We had a single male come to visit her, but we haven't been able to move forward from there...
  11. I must say, this poll has helped me a lot! We're new and trying to sort things out. We have a 9 year age difference. She is 32 (but being petite she looks 26) and I am 41 (but being fit and taking care of myself, most people guess 36). Anyway, we've seen couples ads and my wife wants to be with a guy close to her age. Well, sometimes that means the female is in her mid 20's!. Would she be interested in someone my age? I didn't think so. But now I see that I should just stop worrying and get to answering some ads! Thanks all!
  12. Our first threesome started like this: We (wife and I) talked about it. Everything. What she wanted, what she didn't want. What she wanted from me, etc. We met as a restaurant and had apps and drinks. She gave me the sign to ask the guy home with us. I didn't move quickly enough I guess because she asked him! At home, I served drinks. The three of us sat on the couch (boy-girl-boy). I turned on some music. We sat. We sipped. Finally, I reached over, grabbed his hand, and placed it on her thigh. I placed my hand on her other thigh and started to caress. He followed my lead. For the rest, you'll have to wait until I write it up and post it!
  13. We can say that almost word for word - except our first experience was AWESOME! and we have had ZERO luck finding a couple that we can agree on...
  14. What an interesting position! I have to agree to your point about feminism. I think that it has to do with the macho part of the male. Getting "stabbed from behind" could register in the male mind as being submissive and not masculine. I think few "real" men would be able to let themselves go to enjoy the physical-only pleasure of it. How do we feel? Well, she's against any type of male-male interaction. He would like to 69 with her to her orgasm while another man is in there, but that would necessitate some closeness and probably contact of some sort. He's not afraid, but she thinks she'd rather have a female do the licking since the thought of m-m contact in NOT considered a turn on in ANY form.
  15. Thank you! I'm no 9 inches and I hit her cervix as is if I'm not careful! I'm really thick and have to start slow. Someone bigger than me would REALLY scare her! Besides, how do you measure? If I measure from the top side while standing tall, it's different than if I measure the bottom side! (Not that I spend that much time measuring!)
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