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gotaslowhand

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    7
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20 Excellent

About gotaslowhand

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 01/07/1975

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Single Male
  • Location
    N. Alabama
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Ok, I'll jump in here... but I can really only speak for myself as I suspect 90% of the single guys out there are probably only looking for an easy piece of tail... For me (and clearly for other men that have responded to this thread), I really enjoy pleasing others and knowing that I have been responsible for that pleasure... Let's be honest, it's a big ego boost! And even though I am 110% straight, I would say that goes both for pleasing the woman (obviously) and the guy too. After all, if both of them aren't happy with you, then you'll not be invited back to play again! And what defines pleasure is very different from couple to couple in my experience... With my first couple, it was all about them finding a playmate for her when he was out of town. He wanted to know that someone was keeping her happy and that it was a guy he could trust. He was an awesome guy and they were very open and long time LSers. We still chat on occasion even if we don't play any more. Great memories Similar with my second couple... open marriage and they each had a playmate... that one ended because I was a noob and got a bit too clingy... a moment of learning for me. My third relationship was with a couple for my first real MFM. I met him first and got to be good friends and he knew his wife would just gobble me up apparently. When we all finally met up, she was positively glistening! It was around New Years and right then and there she invited me to play with them at a NYE party where they had another unicorn joining them! Well, the other girl fell through, but it was cool because I made it clear I knew my role was to be their accessory, not as a date for the unicorn. The night was amazing! I made darn sure I was either fingering, tonguing, toying or dicking her for as long as she wanted and then some. When they were playing I would slip a finger in her pussy or ass and whisper naughty thoughts in her ear, or encourage him... and when he was "recovering" I was at attention and available for whatever she wanted. He was totally thrilled! We played for hours and she was very generous when it came time to take care of me. The interesting thing was when I excused myself to go home so they could cuddle... I got a text from him saying that she wanted to spend the night with me! The relationship went on for some time and it was always with the three of us and they both always seemed thrilled. We would even do dinners and movies together and once he sent her over to my place to play for my birthday I've also been in an couple of relationships that were more of the Bull/Cuck type. I only play one on one with the woman and send vids or pics to the guy. Again, it's about finding what pleases the couple and doing my best to accommodate their goals and expectations while strictly staying within their boundaries. Which is why free and open communication is paramount. Yes, I get to enjoy hot sex with a beautiful woman (what healthy hetro man wouldn't enjoy that!) and I get the ego stroke of knowing that I've provided pleasure in one way or another, hopefully to both of them. I suppose in some way its a weird juxtaposition of being somewhat selfish while being altruistic? Does that make sense? Regardless, as a male I like having sex with women (duh!), I love pleasing a woman sexually, and it's also fun to please a couple. I guess it's that simple GaSH
  2. Another single guy piping in here... So, never, ever fuck on the first meeting... ever... never... ever... never never never. The potential for buyer's remorse is just too high. Give yourself time to consider everything and discuss with your mate in the privacy and comfort of your home where you have the ability to be open and honest and not guess about the other's feelings and thoughts. And what the heck is the rush? Anticipation is an awesome aphrodisiac! Have I ever fucked on a first meeting? Yes! Was it hot? Absolutely! Bad idea? Totally! But she practically ripped my clothes off... Also, as a single guy, the pressure is absolutely enormous in that situation. The is a huge potential to be unable to perform. I find the conversation is so much more easy and free when I know nothing is going to happen that nite. We literally can talk about anything and there is no rush. And I find I tend to be much more attentive and LISTEN to what is being said, which is paramount IMHO. Speaking of which, since you are considering your first MFM, make sure you fully consider and discuss in explicit detail all of your expectations, do's, dont's, and MOST importantly... BOUNDARIES! They are always the first things I ask about. And don't be afraid to get down and dirty. Discuss oral, anal, spanking, choking, hair pulling, bi/straight, facials, swallowing, rimming, cream pies, condom vs. bareback, kissing, cuddling, watching vs. threesome, photos and/or videos, one and done vs. sleepover, one night stand vs. fwb, toys, bondage, Dom/Sub, cuckholding, dp, dv, body fluids, pain play, soft or full swap, etc. It is much better to be up front and potentially scare a playmate off, than it is to get an uncovered dick shoved in your ass when that is one of your all time no-no's! And make sure the guy understands that he is there to augment you and hubby's fun... not replace it. Unless your are into cuckholding... which is a different forum discussion! Go slow, be communicative and open, and have fun! GaSH
  3. Well, this usually applies to relationships at work, but is probably even more applicable in your case... "Don't shit where you sleep..." There is no way I would play with a co-worker let alone a neighbor. Odds are better than not that they are not your soulmate and at some point the arrangement/relationship will quite likely go south. That may sound pessimistic, but I prefer to think of it as pragmatic. Kids are friends? Next door? Lord, the potential for a nightmare is screaming at you! Look, my ex-wife destroyed our neighborhood when she chose to be unfaithful with my best friend and next door neighbor. The fallout not only wrecked our marriage, but theirs, my kids, their kids, and at least 2 other families in the neighborhood. Her propensity for making bad decisions has yet to abate, but that one in particular continues to have repercussions... and she still lives next to them... what a disaster! So, if I can influence just one person on this board, let it be you... Just Say No! GaSH
  4. Well, here's my single guy perspective... I simply don't care if I cum or not, because for me it's all about feeling, hearing and seeing the woman I am with have a mind blowing orgasm... and knowing that I am the source of that pleasure! My orgasm is icing or the cake... or is it the batter... I stopped chasing my own orgasm some time ago when I realized that I would rather go all nite and have my lover exhausted from orgasming herself... though I do realize that many women feel a sense of incompleteness if they have not returned the favor. And I completely get that. But for me, there's just something in my head that won't let me cum until I've gotten at least a couple from my lover. After all, it's not about the destination... it's all about the journey That being said, on more that one occasion I've been with a woman who has be of the same demeanor as myself... and we just about fucked each other senseless!!! It was a ton of fun and literally a marathon of sex! When we both finally orgasmed (she when I proceeded to fist her unreal pussy, and I when she gave me the most mind blowing hand/blowjob), we just collapsed and giggled like a couple of teens in a sweaty exhausted mess... the sheets were soaked and her makeup was ground into them permanently! Good thing I had a waterproof mattress pad... lol With respect to deflation concerns... it happens eventually to us all. And I am one that can keep an erection going for hours when the situation is right. But every now and again, even if I am with an incredible partner, something clicks and down it goes. Temperature, humidity, noises, angles, lighting, odors... who knows, it just happens. I have found that I can reduce the chances, especially on a first-time meeting, by avoiding certain things. I don't drink, I eat very little (usually maybe a protein bar or shake), I avoid using any kind of pain killers (tylenol, ibuprofen, etc.) as they are anti-inflammatories and mess with blood flow and pressure, and I try to conserve my "chi" by abstaining from self-abuse at least the day before I also add some things like yohimbe, wheat germ, zinc, l-arginine, saw palmetto, and a low dose of DHEA to my diet which boost all sorts of male functions (even if via a placebo effect... haha). Plus, exercise always helps! Lastly, I always always always carry a pyrex glass toy with me when I meet someone, either a couple or a unicorn. I've found that in general it seems to be somewhat a novelty, and is always appreciated Plus, it's easy to clean So, if I am "taking a pause", just the sound of hearing a woman squeal as I slide the toy in her will generally crank my tractor! GaSH
  5. Hmmmm... a very interesting topic indeed! So, I'm going to give the full single guy perspective here. I find that free and open communication is the best medicine when it comes to the "lifestyle" so that there is no confusion, no guessing and thus no hurt feelings or, by the same token, missed opportunities! With respect to playing with a couple, a single guy is generally at somewhat a disadvantage first, because we are a dime a dozen , second because if we make a simple misstep in a question or an answer we are tossed aside without a second thought, and third, we are a dime a dozen! That being said, I can certainly understand the plight of a couple looking for an MFM/MMF partner as I can only imagine the torrent of dick pics and one line offers (wanna fuck?). In the profiles I've posted (SLS, AFF, etc.) even though I make it abundantly clear the I am 1000% straight, I still get offers from gay/bi guys or couples that want me to compromise and play bi, so I can only guess at what straight guys ask When I interact with a couple, be it through the male or the female, I always make it clear up front that I am there as an addition to their fun, not as a substitute, except for a couple that is playing as a hotwife/cuck, and then that is a completely different dynamic altogether. I've found that if I ask about every aspect of their expectations (3way, guy watching, 1-on-1, pics/vids, oral, anal, dp, dv, dom/sub, spanking, public, private, etc.) then there is no confusion. I let them know that they are in the driver's seat, not I (unless they hand me the wheel that is...). That I need to know EXACTLY how and where I fit into their fantasy and dynamic, and most importantly WHERE THE BOUNDARIES ARE (and which ones they would like to explore if any). I ask these things not to imply or suggest what I want them to do, but simply because I want to know their preferences... thus THERE ARE NO WRONG ANSWERS! Every couple and person is different thus I've found to assume ANYTHING is a fool's game ---- so I ask, everything, every time, but as diplomatically and gently as I can muster (it's a dance after all!). If that intimidates or scares a couple (or a unicorn for that matter...) off, then it likely wasn't meant to be any way. C'est la vie! I don't say this all to be brash or insensitive... I say this because it really sucks to be in the positions of wanting to really add to the fun for a couple (and I mean that with all sincerity!) and then get to the point where you are about to kiss this really hot woman, only to find that kissing is considered a no-no and be shown the door... (it happens!). I takes a lot to muster up the courage to interact intimately and sexually with another man's love in front of him (or with him), but the rewards are fantastic when it works! Yes, it is waaaaay easier to be solo with her, yes it is in some ways more fun because you can get much more intimate with her (if that is what she seeks), but being an accessory it pretty damn hot too! That being said, if at any moment I sense that the intimacy has started to cross the line and become an inappropriate level of affection that will compromise their relationship, I will put an end to the arrangement as that is not my goal, place or ethos. I won't make an issue of it, I will simply exit gently and diplomatically in such a way that I don't hurt either her or him, or their relationship. I am not a home wrecker. Now, I'm not so naive as to not believe that some guys will do/say anything to get a piece of pussy... but there are some of us that won't. I have one couple with a wife that is incredibly sexy, perfect figure, loves all aspects of sex, but her husband wants to suck my cock after I'm finished... but that's just not me, so it's not going to happen. I'll hang out with them, go out for drinks, talk about anything, but I won't compromise my boundaries, and I don't expect them to either. There plenty of guys that will do what they want (well, maybe not so many because they keep coming back to me!), just like there are couples that only want a straight guy, so no harm no foul. I hope this provides a little insight as to what is going through the depraved single guy mind. I know that it still may not answer to OP's question because from what I can glean he is definitely a bit more surreptitious than what I have laid out... so I wouldn't trust him... GaSH
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