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Swede69

Registered
  • Content Count

    9
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About Swede69

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 03/31/1979

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Pittsburgh
  • Interests
    Skiing, camping, work hard-play harder!
  • Swinging Experience
    5 years
  • Anniversary
    04/11/2011

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    HKFuncouple69
  • Favorite Club(s)
    The Bodyshop
  1. It’s been a while since I checked this site and just noticed your response. Since it’s been about two years... I figured I would offer an explanation (for the last post) and update. Maybe my initial post was a bit scattered. I mentioned that we met a couple & we BOTH were interested in the two of them. I certainly did not push my husband into this situation. Quite the contrary, as it was his idea to create a dialogue with them and his call to make a “date”. Yes - we got into the lifestyle for me to explore my bisexual feelings, but it was always known that I am naturally attracted to men as well. Very early on we discussed expanding our interests and exploring other types of interactions. We found ourselves often at clubs & parties where men were expressing interest and I was politely declining. That was ok! I never pressured my husband to move in that direction, only once mentioned in a de-brief that I was “bobbing & weaving” from so & so all night, as they weren’t really understanding my stance. My husband reacted by suggesting that I entertain the idea but I wanted our first experiences to happen together...as a couple. So when the situation above came to be, my husband was in the drivers seat the entire time. As a follow up... 2+ years later... we’ve had many more experiences (mfm, separate room play, orgy... actually the only thing we have NOT done is the situation from the OP) and are absolutely great! We both work at our local club and consider the lifestyle a great compliment to our already awesome love life. We’ve made some great friends (including the couple from the OP) and have gained strength from the open and honest level of communication that is the backbone to our involvement in this lifestyle
  2. We're still "going" :-). At a slow pace, but that's ok. we actually spent last night at a house party and he played with one of the unicorns there...solo. I'm not bothered by it at all, in fact I seem to encourage it. It's tough not knowing what he's thinking (he doesn't really know himself), but I don't push him into anything. I'm just laying back to let him have some fun and feel out his own comfort zone. ~signed "patiently waiting"
  3. Valid point that I had not considered. I certainly don't want to push him into an uncomfortable situation. He has mentioned that he truly doesn't feel he would have any issues and even suggested separate room play at the club or the total group area experience. I've just not had the guts to take the reigns and encourage that to happen.
  4. My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for a little over 2 years. It all started as a way for me to explore my bi-sexual side. In the first year of exploring, we attended a few different local clubs, met a few people through SLS or AFF, and found a few unicorns to hook up with as well - all went quite well - no issues at all, and we've made some GREAT friends (couples, singles, etc.) because of it. Last year, a couple sparked our interest, and came on pretty strong to us. We decided - what the hell... let's do it! We've talked a lot, we've experienced a little, and neither of us are REALLY sure how we feel about things until the situation presents itself. So, after exchanging emails/texts/etc. for about 2 weeks, we made plans to meet them for dinner/drinks, and then head to their house in the mountains if all went well. They knew that they would be our first full swap and were not pushy at all. The entire atmosphere was very charged, and we were all into it. We went back to their place, and split up into two rooms (within earshot, but not physically in the same room). Everything started out great, but then my husband had a momentary hiccup. He had "finished" a bit early and was gearing up to go again, but now the sounds of the other husband and I in the next room distracted him. He couldn't "perform" at this point. No biggie - the wife came and tapped me on the shoulder, I went in... he assured me that he's okay. I asked if he wanted to go - he said no. So we just took a break. We ended up not being able to go back at it, but that's okay - and they were more than understanding. It happens. As we've found, more often that we thought. We then took a bit of a break - focusing more on communicating with each other - which was the best thing we could've done. After a few months of hiatus, and a TON of discussions, we ended back at the club. We realized that we probably just put WAY too much pressure on ourselves "scheduling" this event, working up to it, and then not wanting to disappoint anyone by pulling the plug. We both agreed that if we had been at a club, in the same mind frame, with other sounds, music, activities, etc. happening around us, that the outcome probably would have been much different. However, in their living room, if you suddenly find yourself unable to participate - it's a bit awkward to sit in silence and just listen in. I totally get it. Now it's current day - we've still played with single females, and every time we go out (1 -2 times/month) to the club, I try to nudge my husband a bit more... to feel out his comfort levels. We are VERY open communicators, and look at THAT as the absolute BEST part of this lifestyle. We have no secrets, and have complete open and honest dialog with each other. In an effort to nudge him a bit, I've encouraged him to play solo - the last time we went to the club, I told him to go and get 'em... He picked out a lady (that we knew through acquaintances), and they went off. It did not bother me one bit, as I feel secure in the fact that we are going home together - and we will ALWAYS have a highly active and sexually charged life together. NO jealousy issues here. So here is my question... I want to graduate past this speed bump that we've hit. But I'm afraid to push him too hard. I've mentioned that I'm more gravitated towards men than women, and finding single women is sometimes difficult... and his response is usually - "I don't know how I will react until I'm in that situation" or "Let's just see how the night goes" How do I gently nudge him? I certainly don't want to push him farther than he wants to venture, but my nudging has been the reason we are in this lifestyle in the first place, and we've both had a great time so far. We have made some GREAT friends with many couples, many of which are getting to that stage where the question of play IS going to come up... and I'm inclined to say yes - but don't want to push him... so men - please... give me some advice here
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