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SexyAssGoodXXXs

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15 Good

About SexyAssGoodXXXs

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    Contributor
  • Birthday 02/25/1972

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  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    USA
  1. Well, they contacted me...And I have to say, it is hard to leave it alone. But, not because of the sex. If they were to tell us the sex was off the table, I would be just fine with that. Fact is, we have done a lot of non-sexual things together, and in spite of my husband not having an attraction sexually to her, we have grown to care about them as friends. So, he and I have decided to keep things neutral, not "go there" about playing anymore and let things be. I feel like there are issues between them that they need to work out amongst themselves and I will not nor do I want to add anymore "fuel to the fire". I feel that she cares for me as her friend, but may have issue with me being with her man...Not because of me, but because of his behavior towards me. And I can fully understand that. Their marriage is of utmost importance and as their friend.. I feel I need to pull back even if for whatever reason, they won't. As always, I thank you all!
  2. "In contrast, if a couple were distinctly not affectionate with each other, it might set off red flags for us and send us looking elsewhere for play partners. In a perfect world, your non-husband sex partner would be instantly available whenever you needed him, know your every needed desire exactly when you had it, and be able to do everything perfectly for you :)" I am confused. One minute it's a red flag, but in the next breath you're talking about perfection?
  3. bbarns...I know you are right. And for me, this is a done deal as well. In a perfect world though, lol!
  4. Diggin...Your post was absolutely supportive. Thank you!
  5. LikeMinds... Whatever it was has nothing to do with attention being paid to me. I had and get plenty of attention.... It was the fact that we have been friends and this was the only time he was that cold towards me. That is all. Everyone is feeling sorry for the wife...But I believe in equality and from the beginning...I have told them both she could join in, have offered to do the reverse, and/or just have us fuck each other's partners, that we could take turns taking pics of each other, etc. It never came to pass. There were times when it felt awkward, and I would wonder why they did not show each other affection, but would show affection to and have sex with others. My husband and I talked about it and just decided to respect their feelings and left it alone. Bottom line is it's not a good situation. Feelings are bleeding out and more than likely are going to get hurt if we continue. Again, thanks for all the advice.
  6. Diggin... I hear you. But wouldn't it be a shame if you had to be the one to tell her to stop? Shouldn't she be in control of her own emotions? Also, with reference to my last post... I do not plan on feeding into this insanity anymore. I have to grasp and accept that the reality is he probably does indeed have those types of feelings for me...I do not like it...Nor do I want to encourage him to feel that way towards me. I wish we could go back and just be at the point where this was fun...But unfortunately, it's not going to happen. Thank you all again for all your words of advice, encouragement, and enlightenment!
  7. LOL...We made our intentions perfectly clear. His wife is an adult. Her words to me were she was fine because she has playmates...where he is the one watching. My husband as well. You don't know me, so I suppose it is easy to judge what you do not understand. But again, much clarification was made prior to any type of play. And, she is not always watching...there have been times when she has had her own play partners, as did my husband. You all should also know that I have tried to call it off a few times already...They insist all is well and want to continue. So you tell me WTF? And while it has been a few days that we haven't heard from them...One of them eventually will contact me... I no longer contact them and haven't in awhile. If we talk, it is because they contact me. So again, if we are feeling sorry for his wife...WTF is she doing still contacting me? As to why my husband chose to go ahead and let me play, that was covered in another post.
  8. Lusty...He has not confessed or professed to love me at all. How am I toying with him if, in essence..I am going on assumptions made here in this thread? What if everyone here is wrong? Interestingly enough even though we did talk and I felt we were fine once I laid it all out for him...he stopped e-mailing. I have left it alone. I do not see anything wrong with feeling love for your partners...so iong as you keep it in check and in the context of we see one another at lifestyle functions...we have a good time, we have sex, and go back to our lives as they are the next day. Nothing needs to change or become complicated. bbarns...I completely understand what you are saying. I think I am a bit angry at the whole situation because we got along so damn well. To me it's is as if to say...Why the hell did he even go there? He knew this was "swinging", he knew it could never be more than what it is...sex and friendship. I just do not get it.
  9. Nllswing, can you elaborate a little more as to what you mean by trying to provoke? I have to say, pondering your post freaked me out a bit.
  10. The Mr. and I talked about this again last night. Neither one of us has an issue with him having feelings for me. The issue is his behavior. And the deal breaker for me will be if he continues to "act out" and cannot keep his emotions in check. Or if I notice it is becoming an issue for his wife. Then, absolutely, all bets will be off. However, since this has happened the one time and he may even have been shocked at his own emotions...I am leaning towards seeing how he acts whenever we do see one another again.
  11. We had made plans to meet at the club that night, yes. But they came pretty late into the party. And the communication between us in between the "he loves you" incident was pretty much the same as always. There was no difference in communication because we all talked it out between the 4 of us.
  12. Why had we not met them in 2 months? Holidays and meeting other cpls. As well as timing. They were always game to meet us, but our schedules conflicted up until recently.
  13. :)bbarns...I think I covered most of your concerns in newpant's response. But I want to thank you for your input and the way you went about it. My husband is very well aware. And his outlook is that my play partner loving me in whatever capacity is irrelevant to him because he knows he can trust me.
  14. Newpants...You are entitled to your opinion...Thank you for your perspective on this. However, since you do not know the full dynamics...as obviously I haven't run it all down from start to finish with you...You cannot or rather...should not make such assumptions about our spouses. You do not know the connection my husband and I share. That is not going to go anywhere nor will it ever be broken. {He has his own playmates as well}. We are on a very even keel in that we understand we attract different types of people and {since we have been swinging for over 11 years...} we came to the conclusion that our playmates do not have to be in the same couple. It took us a very long time to get to this point...As for being a lovesick teenager..I assure you...I am not. I also assure you my husband knows exactly how I feel. And is fine with it. My partner's wife...same thing. She has her playmates too. So, while my partner may very well...going on assumption, not fact...have romantic feelings for me...I love him in the sense of very good sex and friendship. And we have since talked everything out and are on very good terms. It turns out by me just communicating to him my questions and concerns...we have cleared a lot of things up. His wife and I talked as well. As for playing? That will not be for awhile. As I need time with my husband and I feel he needs time with his wife.
  15. I want every one of you who has responded to know I am very grateful for all your insight and advice. Someone asked how I felt about him... Fact is, I love him too. I also love his wife...And we tell each other so. But, my Mr. and I made it clear that when we say love...we mean it as friends...Because once we know you we grow to love you. How does his wife feel? She is the one who told me he has feelings for me and has told me since that she blew it out of proportion and that she knows this is just sex. And she reassures me she is fine with all of it. I know all of you are right about the red flags. I also know if I talk to them, I am not going to get straight answers. Hubby and I have tried the direct approach with them in the past, and the bottom line is, they are not going to admit to anything they do not wish to admit to. I have no desire for our sexship to grow outside of our lifestyle parties and sex afterwards. And a part of me is done with the whole thing. But another part of me also feels he just needs to be put in check, lol! The more I think about it...{Funny how after writing it all down and actually reading it, I have a much clearer view}, and after much discussion with the Mr. , I have simply decided to let it be. I have every intention of talking to my play partner about his behavior and feelings...{I dont like things hanging in the air}...But it will have to be done in time. All I really want right now is to just be solely with my husband for awhile.
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