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dan5660

Registered
  • Content Count

    14
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About dan5660

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 09/21/1960

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Washington State
  • Interests
    Camping
  • Occupation
    Engineer
  • Swinging Experience
    5 years
  1. Here are a few examples of what we considered pushy! 1. When you are invited to a couples home and they have a blanket on the floor with toys before you have sat down! 2. When you invited a couple to your home and within five minutes they have their clothes off and are doing cannon-balls into your hot tub! 3. When you are sitting at a club and a single male asks your wife to fuck, with his dick in his hand! You can call them pushy, rude, pressure, or assholes! They are out there. Some may like this sort of behavior or don't care and others do care. Bottom line is to be respectful in a manner which is within the norm!
  2. My wife and I have met people online and in the clubs who expect you to say yes, based on what they feel is their "you can't say no to us" attitudes. Some base this on status at the clubs, some think they are too attractive for anyone to turn them down. When we have said no to these couples, we normally do not get a nice response. They can not handle the fact they are not able to subvert you by their looks or status. An example would be: If you are sitting at a table in a swingers club and a couple comes over to you, who are considered to be ones everyone wants a chance to have sex with, and you say no. A couple of things are likely to happen. One, you will be black balled from their entire group of friends or cronies and you will never be asked again by any of their group. This does put on the pressure to submit to something you may not want to do. It is pushy from the standpoint, they are using their status to get what they want. Luckily, many people come and go from the clubs! So, there is a fairly large turnover of couples. We just hang in there and are nice to everyone. We do not succumb to these pressures or pushy couples. We will take the lumps! For us, pushy is all about attitude! It can be caused by drinking, arrogance, bad manners, etc.. We just keep saying no (politely). This is a little different twist than some of the previous posts, but I like to give a different twist. It keeps everyone's hearts beating and brains thinking!!! If anyone wants to know, my wife an I are a very nice looking couple, so our looks have nothing to do with how we feel about this subject. We just do not use our looks to try to pressure others - period! We are more interested in just meeting a couple and if "They" decide to take things a step further we may or may not accept.
  3. I have read all the posts in this thread and it has been really interesting. Sort of a mixed bag as you would expect. I was ready to post a thread about some statistics I have gathered after talking with over 700 couples. The questions included why they were quitting or wanting to quit and why they stay swinging. I tried to spell check, then I needed to download the spell checker, and lost my entire post. Oh, well I guess I should have thought about the consequences before clicking the button. As far as my wife and I, we have thought about quitting! Mainly, due to the time involved and all of the attempts which do not workout. It is a lot of work as stated in a previous post. However, we are still swinging and take breaks away from the action whenever we need it. I will list (without the numbers) the main reasons couples told me they were quitting or why they continue to swing. This is a sample of what I lost in my previous attempted post. Reasons for quitting: Number one: New couple and had bad first experiences or swinging was just not for them. Number two: Too much of a hassle! Too many couples with too many issues. Number three: The wives said enough! It was surprising to find out how many wives were in the lifestyle mainly because their husbands wanted them there and they felt it would keep their marriages or relationships together. Reasons for staying: Number one: A way to socialize! Sex was considered to be a side issue. Meeting people in a social setting was more important. Number two: Couples felt their sexual relationships were needing a lift and decided to try swinging and liked it. Most of these couples had secure/sable marriages or relationships. Number three: The husband/male significant other wanted to swing, so the wife agreed. Most of the wives said, they would not be swinging if their husbands or significant other did not put a high priority on it. This was just a brief run down of the top three I found when I questioned couples. It is not meant to be a totally accurate account of how all swingers or use to be swingers felt. It is just a slice of the pie and a look into the world of swinging. If I get time again I could provide the stats for the top three in each category and a little more information. This is just some information I gathered, it is not intended to be a official poll. It is not intended to offend anyone in anyway. The information I provide is just that "information" for anyone to use as they see fit. If someone learns from it great, if you do not believe the results, this is just fine too. I would welcome any information from someone who has maintained a good number of records gathered swinging information. I am always interested. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist, I am a Mechanical Engineer and work in the Nuclear Technology field.
  4. Swingers have the same problems within their relationships as non-swinger couples. One of these problems would be cheating! What I have noticed, if you ask a couple what the basis for wanting to be in the swingers life style is, you usually will receive a good indication if the couple has a stable or unstable relationship. Of course the ones who are not stable shouldn't even attempt the swingers lifestyle at all. But they do, thinking it will improve something their relationship is missing. I have met couples who agree to have a totally open or "contractual" relationship. They have boyfriends or girlfriends as they wish. With or without their partners approval. Their relationship is normally headed in the direction of disaster and eventual break-up. The only couples who survive this sort of agreement, are the couples out there (very few) who are living together for reasons of comfort, with minimal emotionally ties. Bottom line, if your cheating, you don't need to be a swinger to do it! Cheating is not part of what swinging is about at all. Real and stable swingers, trust each other and talk. If they want to go out by themselves they discuss it and decide if it is OK before the act takes place, not after. Thus no cheating! I may give my wife one pass, but that would be it.
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