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aster

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aster last won the day on August 18 2008

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About aster

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 01/14/1980

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    single female
  • Location
    san jose, ca

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    aster13

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  1. aster

    Busy Girly!

    Oh shoot, I've been absent for nearly 3 weeks. Which means that I've been ignoring all the messages in my inbox - which i feel terrible about...a ton of people must think i'm a jerk. but life just got away from me this month, and i had to put fun stuff on the back burner. *sigh* BUT ....during my "blackout" period I did get to go to a rather fun house party!! OH HELL YES. lets just say, when i was getting rammed for the third time that night, and suddenly turned around and realized my friends were on the nearby couch watching and giving me the thumbs up....well, that was certainly a "happy" moment. so i'm still here, just laying low and waiting for life to give me some "play time". please, no one fret that i'm not on for the next three weeks....keep me in your back pocket of thought!
  2. I'll admit, I haven't taken the time to read every other post. this is coming from a truly single female, new to the lifestyle. In one way, I do think singles are true swingers... Because it goes beyond just "sex with other people" to a whole new way about thinking about relationships, and how sex factors into those relationships. it's a completely different perspective, and I would be very unlikely to find people who shared this perspective just by looking at a bar. Sure, a single gal could get laid quick going to a bar. but generally not by a couple...and certainly not without the drama. and definitely not without a certain stigma, the risk of hurting someone's feelings. the rest of the world approaches sex and relationships in a very different way. it's more difficult to find people who are willing to be friends who have sex, without being in a relationship. One the other hand, I don't think singles are the SAME kind of swingers that couples are... Because we don't deal with the same emotional and relationship issues and benefits. it's easy to say that I'd feel the same if i had a partner...but until it happens i don't know. i think it's a totally different experience for couples, there is an entire other dimension to the sex...the dimension where you not only are paying attention to your sexual experience, but you are fully engaged in knowing/watching/helping your partner's experiences too. I don't get to experience that, and I'll admit...I'm kinda jealous. So yes, I think singles can be swingers, but I do think it's a different category.
  3. LOL...I think I may need to take a leave of absence from work and give that a try....
  4. thankfully...as predicted by the members here...the inbox is not filling quite as quickly anymore! phew! so i've just about got all the emails from my hiatus answered. i do love that "quick reply" option! i fear at times it might sound a bit too generic....but i need to stop worrying about it. i'm learning that I really do have an aversion to "newer" couples. at first i wanted to keep an open mind about it, but as time has gone on, i've had a lot more concerns pop up in my mind. i'm just not experienced enough to be able to tell whether a newer couple is really ready, and I don't want to put myself in any drama situation. that, and i'm still just slightly (slightly) shy myself, and although i'm wildly up for anything...i'm not very good at getting the party started. i don't want to have to be the instigator, especially if i'm not sure what the couple's comfort level is. that said, i've met with two newer couples lately, and i think i need to act on my instincts. one couple that i just want to get to know a lot better before we start anything, and i need to find a way to say so. and another couple that I just didn't feel a spark with (important for me), and i also need to be able to say so. both couples were incredibly nice, and i appreciated meeting both of them. i guess this is just part of life...and the lifestyle. in other news...4 weeks till i have to squeeze into a bridesmaids dress. 4 weeks to torture myself with weight loss. hmmmmm..we'll see how this goes!
  5. aster

    stealth mode!

    as soon as my friend finally gets on his airplane from LA to to here, i will have company...so i need to go into SLS STEALTH MODE. mwuahahaha! this basically just means erasing my computer history and hiding the prepaid phone I bought for this stuff. It's not as intriguing as it sounds. oh, and i should hide my new toys. oh, and my lingerie. hmmmm...and maybe I should turn off the prepaid phone so it doesn't ring in the closet in the middle of the night. i'm off to do those things...I'll be back online sometime in the middle of next week! kisses!
  6. aster

    Ejection Bed!

    ok, i give in!!! UNCLE UNCLE UNCLE!! i'm dying under the crushing weight of my "TO DO" list. oh, this week is going to be bad. and then i have a friend coming in from out of town over the weekend, so i have to clean on top of everything. and erase all traces on my computer of this stuff, LOL. poor thing, he's a little too innocent, his head would explode. Sunday I had a bowling party to go to for a photographer I know. Turns out I was the only other photographer there....the rest of the invitees were his neighbors and their small children. So, the party was over by 5:30pm! That left me all dressed up with no where to go. And I was incredibly horny! Ugh! So it's damn lucky that a couple called me and asked if I'd be up for moving our Monday date to Sunday! We hit it off from the words "taqueria" and "orange sauce" and spent forever talking. The vibes were right, so we ended up at my place at the end of the night. Now, lets talk about my place for a bit. I live in a small studio apartment downtown. My bed is a twin size loft 4ft in the air, with no railings, and right now it's wobbly. So no playing there. I have a small day couch from cost plus that folds out to be about twin size, but it's not incredibly comfy. I also have a nice queen size inflatable mattress. (A simmons beauty rest!) so inflatable mattress it was! for the most part...it worked. felt a little like a water bed though. and then.... ... .. he got bucked off. as in, the bed ejected him. HAHAHA! Poor guy was catapulted off the end and almost into the wall. I think he was ok. (He jumped back in at least!) It was a fun night, and I love that the couple was as relaxed and fun as they were. I love sex that isn't too serious, and although it was freaking hot...we also giggled a lot and laughed at ourselves. It was great! I am still a little awe struck at how entirely normal this seems to me. It goes against everything i was raised to believe, and yet I just can't bring myself to feel uncomfortable or guilty or nervous or anything. Not that I'm trying to make myself feel bad...but I would want to deal with those feelings up front. I just can't find any feeling to deal with. Except "there aren't enough hours in the day!"
  7. i need to be moderately physically attracted, and very "personality" attracted. not to the same degree as if i were to date someone, just enough to have some fun.
  8. hahaha...good list! i'll be on the lookout for some of those....
  9. venting is good. so sorry to hear of your friends decision!
  10. aster

    I'm not always "on"...

    hahaha, you crack me up. it is funny that i can tell whether it's the guy or the girl based on what type of questions they ask. a girl will say "so describe yourself for me"....her mate will say "so what are your measurements?" LOL. i think you're right...the brain is my problem. lobotomy time!
  11. I realize this is swinging and when it comes right down to it, it's about sex. And I love sex! Sex loves me. I like thinking about it and talking about it. But not constantly. This morning I got online when I got to my office, and saw that I'd left the yahoo on overnight and had a bunch of messages. I decided to go ahead and respond. I told everyone I was just chatting while I warmed up to the idea of work. Just saying friendly hellos! This worked with some, and we had friendly and somewhat flirty chat. very enjoyable! but i had two chatters ask me about what i was wearing. well...to be honest I was wearing my tennis shoes, a pair of old baggy jeans, pretty normal underwear, and a vintage tshirt. hello...i was starting a work day? so do i lie and say "oh, something sexy" or do I just flat out say "ugly comfy work clothes"...LOL. (with one of the two conversations, they easily picked up that I wasn't in the mood and the conversation naturally and humorously moved along...the other...it was awkward.) another person was talking lightly about fantasies, and that was cool. it was light-hearted girl-talk which was situationally appropriate. BUT a couple of the chatters wanted to start hardcore chats. it was 11am, and i was getting ready to work. and it suddenly went from "yea I'm working on such and such" to "so do you like deep penetration, would that make you cum?" *sigh* i'll be honest. a lot of the time when i'm online, I'm also trying to work, and i'm chatting to get to know people...not to masturbate. so if you ask me deeply sexual related questions, you're going to get back an awkward and/or terse answer. cause i'm just not in that mood right now. i'm not horny 24/7. and for me, it usually takes a bit of in-person flirting to get me that way. (not much mind you, lol) but phone sex and chat sex? not really my cup of tea, unless i'm just desperately horny and alone. which doesn't happen often. so i come off as very awkward online. and i (perhaps unfairly) get annoyed quickly at people who try to make a simple conversation overly sexed-up, especially with no warm-up! save that for when i can reach out and touch you. i guess it's a fine line...online flirting and teasing is great. asking me to describe in detail how i want to be fucked...is going to get you a smiley face and two-word answer. further more, since most of my attraction to people is personality based....you might be sending the wrong vibes. I enjoy people who are socially skilled, are good conversationalists, know how to flirt subtly and how to pick up on subtleties. That's sexy to me. So whether or not your conversational topics are arousing, the blunt/abrupt method of delivery is a total turn-off, and may impair your chances of getting to meet me. so am i weird? am i being rude? should I only get online when i'm prepared to get all nasty in the chat? or is there a polite way to say "hey, i'm just in the mood for friendly chat right now, lets not get too detailed.":nono: I'll eventually get the hang of all this....thanks for putting up with all my newbie venting!
  12. I've never really been the kind of gal to go on dates. I meet guys at parties, at work, at school...and over a long period of being friends...then being friends who kiss...then being friends who spend the night...suddenly we just wake up one day and decide we're "together." In college I had a couple of "dates" that were very awkward, boring, long, offensive...etc. And just decided it wasn't my thing. For this whole experiment to work though...I couldn't avoid the first dates. Yes yes, I could meet people at parties & meet-n-greets, but I'd rather walk into those already knowing a person or two...so there had to be at least a few dates at the beginning to get started. Soooo....I had my second "first date" last night, and it was great! I'm learning a lot about myself. For instance...I'm much more confident and relaxed than I thought I was. I don't get nervous, I don't freak out, I don't get the butterfly thing (I keep waiting, it hasn't happened at all...not even on the first 'play' date). Back in high school and the first two years of college, I was an introvert...painfully shy and DEATHLY afraid of people. It wasn't really who I was, but it took a year of antidepressants and many years of trial & error to figure that out. Now that I'm "me"...I am so extroverted that it boggles my mind. If you had told the me of college that I would grow up, move alone to california, and eventually meet people on the internet for the purpose of having sex...sometimes group sex...i would have fainted. LOL. But then tell me that I would do it without hesitation, nerves, or second thoughts...I'd have laughed and realized you were from an alternate dimension. This is fun. I like meeting the me of the alternate dimension. Anyway, back to topic....I enjoy dating now! I really have had a lot of fun just meeting different random people and spending an evening chatting and finding our common ground! It's great that there is this secret sexy naughty undertone to the purpose of the conversation, but I think I'd love it even if there wasn't. I've got a lot of "first dates" set up, and I'm seriously looking forward to all of them. The people are so diverse and interesting. And the more we talk about who we are as people, the more I discover about myself. And the more I fall in love with life! I love people! I love them!
  13. that's wonderful news! congratulations!
  14. thanks for the great and well thought out series!
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