I understand about your wife's insecurity about her body. I used to be very fit, in fact I have even competed in local body building contests at one time, but for the last few years have packed on about 20 lbs. It is funny though, that does not seem to be a factor in the pleasure that we have experienced with others. We usually meet our players at bars though and I wanted to try this to get a wider picture of how others work this lifestyle.
At first I felt very uncertain about this even though my sex drive is higher than that of my partner, he enjoys watching and that gets him excited and then participates. I did not feel that I was the picture of a swinger, but really what does that picture look like? We like MFM and FMF and couples as well as bi for both.