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Dagney

Registered
  • Content Count

    28
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    1

Dagney last won the day on February 28 2008

Dagney had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

78 Excellent

About Dagney

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 10/18/1964

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Gaults Gulch
  • Swinging Experience
    6 years
  1. Thanks for letting us in on the ride! I wish you the best in all of this. I here what you are saying about honesty, and I would have a big problem if Hank fell in love with someone who wasn't completely honest with me. I'm interested in how all of this works out for you. I would like to see us end up in a poly relationship, and have met several couples that I could see it happening with. However, we have a long way to go before we are ready for that, so for now I appreciate being able to read what you are going through.
  2. I think I know how you are feeling. There was one couple in our past and I felt like she and I were such soul sisters. We met them a few times but never did hook up, and then they just disappeared. I guess it just never clicked between all four of us. I totally understand that as just a part of the lifestyle, nothing to be taken personally. However, the fact that she just disappeared (stopped responding to my e-mails, was never on Y-Messenger anymore or was invisible to me, etc.) when I felt we had this friendship connection really hurt. I wish we could have stayed friends, even if we were just vanilla friends. It's one thing if someone you've just met doesn't reply to you, and quite another when someone you consider a friend doesn't. It hurts - but you have to realize that it isn't YOU, it's her. Their could be so many reasons that she cut you off, you shouldn't take it personally. Odds are that it has nothing to do with you.
  3. As I was reading through the replies I wonderred why nobody had voted! We are active, but haven't actually played in a few months due to busy schedules and other issues. We are not actively seeking new playmates, and haven't been to a group party or m&g for a long time... but we wouldn't turn down an opportunity with friends if it were to come up!
  4. We're in it for the couples. The more secure and committed the couple is to each other the better. In the beginning I wasn't secure enough to want a single female. Now I think it would be cool - but more for Hank's pleasure and she and I would have to hit it off as friends first (which isn't hard - I'm very friendly!). We had one couple where the male really wanted me to come over for a fmf and then send his wife over to us so Hank could have the fmf also - but that just never seemed to work out. It's too bad though that single females are not as abundant as single males. If that ever happens I'd be into single males too but that would be the only way Hank would agree to that (and me too for that matter). For us this is about us, so it is important that we are both getting the same benefits out of it. For that reason I think our preference is always going to be couples. There is just something very exciting knowing that you are doing your good friends husband, and she is doing yours (and you!).
  5. I'm anonymous on this board, but in real life, in our current local group and back when we had our sls and other site profiles active we use our real first names (or first initials). We've never used fake names when actually meeting people. More than once our daughter has become friends with the kids of swinger friends, and I've found myself asking "who" when she mentioned the kids last name because we didn't know it before - lol. We've met a few couples that use fake names, and it's just confusing. One of them slipped and introduced herself to me using her real name instead of her made up name, and from then on I've always called her by both. I originally signed on to this board a few years ago using my yahoo name - which is known by mostly swingers but also some vanilla friends. I stopped when I googled it once and the first thing that came up were my replies to posts on this board!!! However, those who really know me will know this is me now, especially once I really get my blog going on here!
  6. Cheers to getting healthy and feeling better!
  7. Dagney

    Shit Happens

    I like to call these my "perspective moments". It's sad that we so easily remember the shit, but have a hard time recalling the good stuff. When this happens to me (as it does to all of us) I try and put it in perspective. No matter how bad I think it is at the time, it could be so much worse. To me everything is in the way you look at things. Having good friends and a great forum like this board really help when you need to get perspective.
  8. One of the things I really wanted out of the Lifestyle was to find a group of really good friends that we enjoyed hanging out with and could also have some sexy fun with. We were very lucky and we did find that group of friends. Sometimes I wonder though if it is worth it to get so close to Lifestyle friends. Friends come and go, that is just a fact of life. But when you are able to make really good friends with Lifestyle friends - when the friendship ends you lose so much more. Of course that is because you have so much more with friends like this. Never before have I had so many friends that I am so comfortable around, that I trust with so much, or that I can be myself around like I can with my lifestyle friends. Unfortunately, when lifestyle friends break up or leave the lifestyle for whatever reason, the friendship is usually pretty hard to maintain. We've done it with some, but failed with others. It's harder when you don't have the common events to attend (especially when you have limited time for social activities as it is). I feel so lucky to have met such great friends. However, I also feel that I have lost some people that I very much miss because we had such a connection (way much more than sex). I guess in the long run it is worth it to have had those people in my life. But I still miss them.
  9. What a great way to start of Monday morning of a holiday weekend. Hot Tub, coffee, Ayn Rand's Atlas shrugged on cd... chapters 2 and 3.... oh yeah, and the "foot jet" is always fun.
  10. Dagny is a character in my favorite book of all time, Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. (I didn't realize until after I registerred that I spelled it differently) Hank (my other half, he's not registerred on the board) is also a character in the book and he's the one who turned me on to the book. We recently bought the book on cd (42 of them lol) so we can listen together. My location is also a reference to the book and to the place where where Hank and I first met 25 years ago (not Galt's Gulch, but ironically Gault Hall).
  11. I voted for separate. I like both, but Hank prefers separate because he likes to focus on the woman he is with and can relax. Sometimes he gets performance anxiety when he's in the same room with another man, because he starts comparing himself to the other guy. He actually gets off more hearing me moan from the other room and wondering what is going on (knowing of course that later he will get all of the details).
  12. Great post Lee! We agree with you on both points. We don't have the experience you do, but we both feel that this is definately our lifestyle and not just a hobby. We accept the risks associated with the way we like to live our lives, just like those who are into skydiving, flying, dirt bikes, etc. accept the risks associated with those activities. And if someone finds out, it might not be ideal but it wouldn't be horrible. While we don't advertise that we are swingers, when directly asked we have been honest because we are not ashamed of what we do. As for society accepting us.... that's just never going to happen even if we didn't swing!
  13. I was super nervous about this too, wondering how I would answer the questions as to why I wanted to be tested, but they never came. It was actually pretty easy and painless. I think it is probably best if your doctor knows... the more they know the more they can help. However, since mine didn't ask I certainly wasn't going to tell!
  14. I don't think having the guts to post this makes you look like a jerk. I like what someone else said above about how if we were not in the lifestyle we wouldn't have these problems, but because we are we have to be even more careful when flirting with non-swinger friends (especially if they are prone to cheating). I think many of us have had this dilemma... and we all deal with it in our own way. Kudos for posting this. I think the others gave some good opinions and advice. Now you must do what your mind and your heart tells you is right for you.
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