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funfun31

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    12
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25 Excellent

About funfun31

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 05/16/1972

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Lancaster, PA
  • Interests
    Fishing, camping, exploring life
  • Swinging Experience
    7 months

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    funfun31
  • Favorite Club(s)
    The Farm, TABU

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  1. Wow! There some seriously hot stories on this post. Well done with a difficult topic!
  2. She shouldn't worry, she's ADORABLE! My wife said "Don't worry! There are plenty of us everywhere. Us big girls see a lot of action and have the luxury of being as picky as anybody, so get out there and have fun! It's all in the attitude." As for us, I can say that we've been to quite a few clubs and we see people of all ages, shapes, and sizes. There is a fit for everyone. We aren't exactly skinny folks ourselves (I was 6'1 and a less-than-shapely 225 when we got into this and my wife is 5'1 and is well over 200 lbs herself). That being said, since we got into this about two years ago, her self-confidence is through the roof- I guess now because there are more guys than me telling her how sexy she is, lol. She has found that when she walks into a club and feels like she looks great (remember, sexy is not a clothing size, it's an attitude) she gets plenty of attention and that makes her feel even better. Go for it! With a few positive experiences under your belt, you'll both laugh at how nervous you were when you got into this. Hope this helps, SLS ID funfun31 from Lancaster, PA
  3. If he is waiting for u to leave to room to do anything, that is a red flag, too. If he waited til you weren't there, then he knows you would not approve if he did it in front of you. Long story short; he's being sneaky and that is NEVER a good sign. We've been in the lifestyle about two years, and I have seen behavior like this screw couples up right away. Couples where either half acts this way never last long in the lifestyle. He needs to change his attitude. This is about sex and fun for BOTH of you, not a backdoor route for him to get a "girlfriend." Also, when you go in with rules, you DON'T change them on the fly unless the two of you halt the action, go off together and discuss it in private, then abide by whatever is decided MUTUALLY. We have given newbie couples open permission, that if at any time they need to go talk to each other about the next step, or something that might be making them uncomfortable, etc... to go ahead and talk to each other (we won't run away). That was something our swinging mentor couple taught us. But one of the top five rules in swinging (after all the ones about open, honest communication, not keeping secrets from each other, etc..) is that you NEVER take one for the team. It's a cardinal sin of swinging.
  4. Hey. I fully understand your soncerns. One thing you'll find is that there are a whole range of ages, shapes, and sizes in the lifestyle (just go to any lifestyle club for proof). When we got into the lifestyle in January of this year, I was a bit overweight (225 lbs, 38 inch waist...now about 195lbs with a 34 inch waist...the lifestyle gave me extra reasons to work on getting in shape, since I always want to make sure the lady I am playing with is having at least as good a time as my wife, since many of our partners have been younger than us) and my wife (who is 5'1") was close to 250 lbs (that since has come down to about 225). When we got into this, my wife had a lot of concerns "Who would want ME?" Once we started meeting people, we found that we NEVER had problems finding lots of sexy, sexy people to play with. Sexy is all about attitude and how you handle yourself. It does not have a weight, size, or age limit. It's all about little things like confidence, personality, grooming, the ability to engage others, and a good sense of humor. Sometimes, it's just the expression on your face or the way you carry yourself. Using that criteria, I can confidently say that when the wife and I go to our favorite club, we feel like two of the sexiest people in there... and it must show, because we are never wanting for attention. Keep the right attitude, be honest about who you are and what you want out of this, and everything else will take care of itself. Lots of luck and happy hunting!
  5. My wife has been known to allow some of our swinging partners to have anal with her. We have done it before, a couple of times (on one occasion, she was really drunk and asked me for it). It was fun, but frankly I can take it or leave it. She explains to me "you're too big for that ride and you really don't have the patience to do it right..." It doesn't bother me that she'll give it up to some other guys, but not me, since it's really not my bag anyways (my attitude is that if there's a perfectly good pussy there (and I have yet to find one that wasn't tight enough to please me), why bother with the other input?). Besides, one of the great things about swinging is that there might be some things your wife isn't into doing, but there might be a swing partner out there who not only doesn't have a problem with it, she might really like it. Or, as Redd Foxx once said: "You show me a husband {or wife} who won't, I'll show you a neighbor who will"
  6. I agreee about the screening process. Chat with them as much as possible before meeting....at least for a cpl of weeks.....that should give u a chance to sniff out any craziness. The times we broke that rule, we lived to regret it. Those are known as our "WTF were we thinking" playdates.
  7. Never take one for the team. Never let your SO take one ofr the team. Be prepared to say (in the nicest way possible) "I'm willing to have sex with anyone in the house but you." The first time we went to a little get-together, my wife ended up having sex with the host, although she really didn't "want to." She just didn;t want to hurt his feelings cuz it was his house and his hot tub, and we were new... After that, we decided that even if you haveto hurt someone's feelings, you don't "have to" have sex with anyone you don't want to. We actually showed up to meet the cpl that was also gonna be there (there was only 5 of us...and was literally willing to have sex with anyone there but him....he was kinda creepy and had a bad comb-over).
  8. Exactly! He's not a swinger. He's a player who uses swingers as a means to get laid. A very low lifeform, indeed. I'm glad you arrived to the conclusion that you did and didn;t choose to excuse his behavior or rationalize it, or somehow fin another way to enable him to keep deceiving everyone (including himself). When I see ppl on SLS with certs from ppl like this, or who (even worse) give certs to people like this, it just turns my stomach. I lose respect for all parties involved. Everyone knows how bad it feels to be lied to; to be cheated on. Why would anyone help someone do that to someone else? I'm sorry.... honesty and openness are sexy. Liars are not.
  9. Well, let's see. He's lying to you. He's lying to others. He's doing this behind your back. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck.... This is why we don;t play with anyone who plays without their SO's knowledge. There is a clear line between cheating/adultery. We've had more than one woman who was in this situation try to swing with us and we explained to them the differecne between swinging and adultery, and that we don;t play with adulterers. The way I look at this is: if your own mate can't trust you, why should we? Swinging requires a certain amount of trust with the people you are playing with. If you are willing to willfully violate the trust that the person you married (or have some sort of commitment/agreement with), we (as basically strangers) sure as hell can't trust you.
  10. Could be hypothyroid disorder... that can cause mood swings similar to a bi-polar condition.
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