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Pregnant girl at swinger party?

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We have been thinking about attending some swinger events/parties/clubs etc even though we are not playing right now because I am pregnant. DH and I have discussed it, and he thinks it would be okay/fun/exciting to get involved in our local "swinger scene" on a social level- meeting potential playmates or people we just enjoy. We both enjoy the social aspect of swinging, although we know that isn't everyone's cup o' tea. We got out of the lifestyle after I got pregnant with our first child and were just getting started again (5 years later) when I got pregnant this time. So even though we started several years ago, we don't know a lot of people in the lifestyle and are pretty eager to get the ball rolling again.

 

But I do have some reservations about going this route...

 

1. When we originally started, our best friends (a couple) were just getting started into the lifestyle as well. We went out with them, played with them, talked about all things swinger with them. After reading the board for a couple years though, I'm starting to feel like maybe I have a jaded sense of the social scene because we always had friends we could turn to. Maybe swinging is just about "the fuck" and less about getting to know people that we actually (shocker) have things in common with and might like to hang around outside of the bedroom as well.

 

2. Would we look like the weird lurking couple that stands the corner and piddles themselves while everyone else plays? Since we won't be playing, is it weird to attend events and parties to chat it up, meet people, and leave before the sex starts? Would anyone actually be interested, or would it be a waste of time? If they know they can't play with us right there and now?

 

3. Would it just be... gross? I'm not sure if this one has any actual basis or if it is just my insecurities at play. I mean, I know there are people (men) that are turned on by the whole pregnant thing. But we won't be playing. It is not like some fetish relief lol. Or if husband and I decided to just have sex together at a club, would it be "I can't believe that couple is doing that/ I don't want to see her huge belly/ ewww".

 

Would you be turned off by going to a club/party and there being a pregnant woman there? If she was or wasn't having sex? Any thoughts are appreciated and feel free to be brutally honest.

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We have a lot of a live and let live attitude.

 

Many go and only play with their partners.

 

Others have friends they meet at parties.

 

Others go to parties to be social and play at home with those new friends later.

 

How you do it is your choice.

 

And anyone grossed out by any normal body, well, it's their issue. Let them be grossed out. You just have fun and ignore them.

 

Enjoy :)

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Personally, the missus and I have no issue with a pregnant woman being present at a party whether she takes part or not. We like making friends though and can't really speak for anyone else

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At a house party where you know a bunch of people and are just being social, that's understandable and wouldn't be a "red flag" moment.

 

At an open party where you don't really know anyone it would just seem a bit weird and I'd probably think less of the person doing so. Swinging parties tend to be about late nights, alcohol, and sex with strangers, none of which I think are good while pregnant. I would question the judgement of the future mother.

 

We personally just dropped out of swinging completely while my wife was pregnant. Those were periods where I rarely posted here and swinging just wasn't a part of our lives. To US this is "normal". Obviously it is just a personal opinion.

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I met one of my very favorite playmates when she was four months pregnant. They continued to come to the club until she was seven months along and nobody ever objected. I wasn't alone in thinking she looked beautiful.

 

I don't have much of an impulse to edit life, which means I think pregnancy shouldn't be any more of a deterrent than having missed your pedicure that week. So my call is that it wouldn't be a turn off, don't care if she's having sex (although I would definitely notice if she was, because I like variety in my visuals) and think the decision should be based on said pregnant woman's interest and energy level. And, hey, it's a great conversation starter if you want to meet new people. ;)

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At a house party where you know a bunch of people and are just being social,that's understandable and wouldn't be a "red flag" moment.

 

At a open party where you don't really know anyone it would just seem a bit weird and I'd probably think less of the person doing so. Swinging parties tend to be about late nights, alcohol, and sex with strangers, none of which I think are good while pregnant. I would question the judgement of the future mother.

 

We personally just dropped out of swinging completely while my wife was pregnant. Those were periods where I rarely posted here and swinging just wasn't a part of our lives. To US this is "normal". Obviously it's just a personal opinion.

 

So what do you think is so wrong with just going to an "open" party just to socialize and maybe get to know other ppl? What about going just to get out and maybe watch others? She never said that she was looking to have sex, drink, and stay out all night. I don't think by being pregnant you have to be looked down on in an environment such as that if she is respecting herself and respecting the fact that she is pregnant. Yes, I would have a problem if I was at an "open" party and a pregnant woman was totally neglecting the fact that she was pregnant, but who am I to judge? Now, if I saw a pregnant woman who was there fully aware of her surroundings and respected the fact that she is pregnant and all she wants to do is socialize, then why not? She socializes, maybe she'll meet some great ppl, then she goes home.

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So what do you think is so wrong with just going to an "open" party just to socialize and maybe get to know other ppl? What about going just to get out and maybe watch others? She never said that she was looking to have sex, drink, and stay out all night. I don't think by being pregnant you have to be looked down on in an environment such as that if she is respecting herself and respecting the fact that she is pregnant. Yes, I would have a problem if I was at an "open" party and a pregnant woman was totally neglecting the fact that she was pregnant, but who am I to judge? Now, if I saw a pregnant woman who was there fully aware of her surroundings and respected the fact that she is pregnant and all she wants to do is socialize, then why not? She socializes, maybe she'll meet some great ppl, then she goes home.

 

Because all I see is a pregnant woman and I don't know her circumstances. With the number of posts we have had here about people who wanted their first swing experience while they/their wife was pregnant (often with their first) would mean that I couldn't really assume anything.

 

For us swinging is just a hobby, and when we can't do that hobby we do something else. Being pregnant is a pretty big and important time and it makes our hobby take a back burner, way back. Each of our kids ended up being a 2 year swinging break, and just like how we wouldn't want to hang out at a buffet when you are on a diet, we feel the same away about swinging.

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Speaking for myself, I definitely do not find a pregnant woman to be a turn off at a party. And I know my husband wouldn't either because he had sex with some of them. I don't have any children yet but my sister, who has 2 kids, continued with her swinging ways during most of her pregnancies. She didn't drink, didn't smoke, and stayed away from big club events. When I see a pregnant woman at a swinger event, I trust she knows all the right information and knows what she's doing, and if she doesn't, it's not my place to say. I think a pregnant woman is a beautiful sight and if you are up to it, go check it out the scene, regardless you want to have sex or not.

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Turner off? No, quite the opposite. Some people think a pregnant woman is incredibly beautiful. Add to that the live and let live mentality most 'swingers' have and I don't see how it would be a problem. Don't worry about it and realize that anyone who has a problem with it is someone who you probably wouldn't want to know anyways.

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Not a problem whatsover - open party, club, small gathering, or whatever, actively playing or just socializing.

 

If you are pregnant and at the club knocking back double tequila shots while simultaneously smoking a cigarette with each nostril, then we would think that is not responsible behavior. But, we would think the same thing if you were at the bowling alley downing a pitcher of beer each frame and holding a smoke in your left hand while you bowl with your right. Irresponsible behavior isn't venue dependent.

 

Just go out and have fun while you can!

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I think it's fine to go out and meet people and socialize with swingers while pregnant. It kind of depends on the venue. Meet and Greets would probably work well.

 

I do get where Chicup is coming from also. I don't know anyone who thinks pregnancy is a turn-off, but many people think it's strange for a pregnant woman to be in a casual sex situation. There are serious problems that can occur as a result of sti's during pregnancy. I know you said you don't plan to swing while pregnant, but some people will make assumptions and judgments. Really, that is their problem, not yours, but it might be uncomfortable. You might want to wait to get back in the scene until you are settled with the baby and a good babysitter.

 

One other thing I notice is the transient, fickle nature of a lot of people. Couples come and go from the scene. You might invest time getting to know people, then after you're ready to swing they are gone. Maybe it's better just to go out and enjoy time with your husband and the vanilla friends you have.

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One other thing I notice is the transient, fickle nature of a lot of people. Couples come and go from the scene. You might invest time getting to know people, then after you're ready to swing they are gone. Maybe it's better just to go out and enjoy time with your husband and the vanilla friends you have.

 

I was also thinking about this. The number of months you're pregnant plus maybe 6 months or more postpartum...that could be 15 months or more from conception to back in the scene (I know, you're already pregnant so it might not really be 15 months now). A lot can happen in a year and a half. Not even considering couples who leave the LS, there are couples who take breaks for numerous reasons, couples who don't have the patience to wait out the 15 months, couples who have ADD when it comes to swinging...if you're actively searching for couples for the future, I'd probably hold off until you two are fully back in the scene because you don't know what type of fish will stick around. If you aren't actively searching (just out for the open atmosphere) and you don't give a damn about other people judging you, then go for it.

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We would tend to agree with sunbucks. Wait it out until after delivery.

 

We have seen a few pregnant women at parties and clubs. While we agree with the live and let live comments above and don't want to come off as judgemental, we tend to think it is in poor taste. We will likely get flamed a bit for this comment but it is true.

 

We are super freaky about keeping our swinger life and vanilla life separate. Although not truly family yet, it is a gray line that we, personally wouldn't cross.

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Years ago, one of the clubs we attended one of the women was pregnant (don't remember how much, but she was fairly well along) and not only did it not bother us, but to me, I found it pretty hot. I must confess, I find expectant women arousing and always thought the wife was at her most beautiful and sexy when she was carrying our kids. Although I didn't do anything with this woman, Mrs. Fours and another man did briefly go down on her, but I don't think she actually played with anyone else the rest of the night, let alone full swap.

 

Despite some opinions here, I don't believe there's anything wrong with continuing swinging while pregnant as a lot of women's sex drives can actually increase during this time. While we never swung while pregnant only because our baby-making days ended before discovering the LS, I don't think that would have stopped us as we did have sex up until the day before at least one of our kids was born. In fact, I remember a few times we went to the local adult store for things and aside from a few questions from other women there like due dates, etc., no one thought it odd that...gasp...a pregnant woman was still interested in sex.

 

Like everything else, to each their own, but as I said I wouldn't find it odd and in fact it would be a turn-on and I would not hesitate to play with her if she had no problem with it. But, since we gravitate towards older couples around the wife's age, the chance of this is rather low.

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I read the original question as whether it would be appropriate to attend functions for the social aspect. Personally, I don't see why not. The lifestyle brings out different people with different tastes; not everyone is a bed notcher just like not everyone is into getting to know prospective play partners. There are many who enjoy the social aspect of the lifestyle, just as the original poster does, and I see nothing wrong with that. While that may rule interactions out with some people (goal orientated towards scoring) there are plenty of other couples who do not perceive "no play" as a failure. We all get something different out of the lifestyle and there is enough variety to find those who share ones point of view. That however doesn't mean anyone is "wrong or right" in their position, just different.

 

With the above said, if the original poster wishes to socialize in the lifestyle while pregnant, I say go for it!

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Hey guys. Sorry it has taken so long for me to reply. Thanks for all the responses and thoughtful information. I am still thinking hard on this. Hubby and I have talked about it several times.

 

What I'm thinking right now is that it would be fine if we went for the social aspect. I am still worried a bit about my comfort level, but I really think that can only be determined once I am actually in the situation. Because of this, we have discussed a sort of test run to go and see how I feel.

 

Sun, I do very much agree with what you have said. I know that during our time in the lifestyle, we have seen the crowd change at our favorite club quite a bit. It seems like every time they change managers all of the "regulars" are replaced. So something I have considered is contacting some couples that used to frequent the club. A lot of them throw their own parties now.

 

What I would really like is a local meet-and-greet at a vanilla/off-premise place. I know these go on, but the closest one (that I have found) is the next state over.

 

I have also been considering the time we will be out after baby is born. I know we will likely be out a while since when we swing, we make a weekend out of it- get a hotel in the city and have our other child stay at gramma's for the weekend. I know we will wait to do that until the baby is probably about one. So I'm thinking that the year after baby is born but before we are "back in" would probably be a better time to contact couples with the "We aren't officially playing yet, but would you like to have dinner/drinks" that way we could afford a couple hours away from home, but still be close enough to run back if needed and not be out all night.

 

So as you can see, many options, many questions still lingering, and honestly, the realization that this post is more than likely food for thought and will not be any actual basis for what we do/do not do. As husband brought up Saturday night (as we were rushing home from town after a Mardi Gras parade at 9pm and I'm already falling asleep in the passenger's seat) the pregnancy is already draining me of energy as it is, and it is very hard to imagine staying out late enough to do us any actual good LOL!

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What I'm thinking right now is that it would be fine if we went for the social aspect. I am still worried a bit about my comfort level, but I really think that can only be determined once I am actually in the situation. Because of this, we have discussed a sort of test run to go and see how I feel.

 

I think a test run would be a great idea. For me, if I was uncomfortable about going out, I'd just stay in and enjoy this limited time of having just one child before it's over. ;) Also, bon bons!

 

What I would really like is a local meet-and-greet at a vanilla/off-premise place. I know these go on, but the closest one (that I have found) is the next state over.

 

Why don't you and SwingSetHusband throw your own meet and greets in your area once the baby is 1-year-old?

 

As husband brought up Saturday night (as we were rushing home from town after a Mardi Gras parade at 9pm and I'm already falling asleep in the passenger's seat) the pregnancy is already draining me of energy as it is, and it is very hard to imagine staying out late enough to do us any actual good LOL!

 

I don't know how far along you are but just as one mother to another...please, please, please savor this time that you are pregnant. You never know if this is the last pregnancy that you'll experience. And even if you are planning on have another, this is the only time that this baby will be inside you and you'll feel this extreme closeness to him. Remember every difference you experience in contrast to the first. And I really was serious above...once the baby is born, your first child will no longer be the only child. Spend extra time with him/her because in the future, you'll have to arrange "dates" to spend time with them one-on-one. It might not be that way when the baby is still taking naps but once the kids don't take naps, you'll see how precious those one-on-one times are with them.

 

Anyway, enjoy your pregnancy and rest up! Let us know how the test run goes.

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