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catherine1962

Getting pregnant

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I am pregnant. I can't believe it. I have always made my partners use condoms...my husband doesn't know yet. I just did the Walmart pregnancy test kit and it came back positive...

 

What now? I have always prided myself that I make the person I am having sex with use condoms.

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Are you sure this is not your husband's?

 

 

That's what I'm thinking. What would make you think it is one of your playmates and not your husband's?

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From reading your past posts and your statement that (with the one exception you previously posted about which was too long ago to matter) you have made your swing partners use condoms, I would go on the assumption that it is your husband's.

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Not trying to pile on, catherine, but take a couple of deep breaths and chill for a second...there, that's a little better.

 

Don't want to sound insensitive to your situation, but we don't know enough about the story here to make a clear call or give you very helpful advice. Why do you feel it's someone else's? What took place in the last X number of days? If I had to read between the lines (not my favorite pastime), it seems as though very recently you had some sort of encounter with another man and did not use protection. Am I right or off-base? We want to help, but we're stuck making assumptions at this point. Help us help you...

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We always use condoms even though I'm on the pill.

Did you stop taking the pill?

 

I also, remember your posts from awhile back. You stated your rules were condoms only, and nobody cums inside you but your husband. So, I'm with Julie- it's probably your husband's.

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Everyone has there own opinion here on how to handel these types of situations. Here is mine & hubby's opinion. If something were to happen, we would have it taken care of & not have it. This world is cruel & kids already have a lot more to deal with growing up then most of any of us has ever had. (My 16 yr old brother is already into things I am just now finding out about at 22!) Families are so blended & messed up. Working for an attorney that does divorces, I see families fight over kids so nasty like it would make you sick. Hubby & I have our 2 kids. We may want another one, one day. If it were to happen by accident, that would be ok. But I would NEVER take a chance of having a kid that might be antone else's other than my husbands.

 

Now if you always make every guy use a condom, you might be pretty safe. I would sit down with your hubby & tell him. Then go to your Dr & get a professional test done. When i had my kids, the Dr. was able to tell me my exact conceivment date, within a day or so. That might help you. But as I said the most important thing to do, is t to your hubby. You guys got into this together, so you should deal with problems together.

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Yep---we agree with everybody else.

 

Tell your husband, "We are having a baby". Put a smile on your face when you do it.

 

We both got "clipped" knowing we were going into this lifestyle and have 4 kids already. We didn't want any accidents to happen since I had a vas 5 yrs before going into this swinging. Condoms work, BUT accidents do happen. If your husband doesn't wear a condom then more-than-likely it is his and present it as his.

 

Our Motto always is...."You put it in so you might expect something to come out"

 

Only way to tell if it is your husband's baby is a DNA test afterwards, but go with the mindset it is his and be happy either way.

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Wow. A woman from North Dakota posted she was pregnant from swinging a little over a month ago. Now a woman from South Dakota is pregnant from swinging. We're working our way south!

 

We're all dying to know: is it possible it is hubby's?

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how long ago was his surgery? sometimes you can still get prego after that is done...very rare but happens...but please tell him it isnt fair to keep something like this from him. It may be hard and painful but tell!!

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Well, the wya I see it is it's not like you were out cheating. You have openly been allowed to have sex with other people, so at least that is not an issue.

 

I am not going to argue the abortion/pro-life debate...but you have options. Number one: tell your husband. From there, just talk. Our bodies make babies sometimes whether we want them to or not. It's okay...

 

This may be a blessing in disguise, a wakeup call or a call for more attention to the matter of birth control. Whatever it is, if you have a strong relationship, you can talk through it and your options. If you don't want to talk to him, at least go to planned parenthood and talk to them. They have a very easy way of talking through your options/calming you, etc... (gee, my teenage years are visiting me all over again!) But seriously, this can be worked through one way or another...

 

Good luck! Take a deep breath and all will be okay one way or another. This is a huge oops, but take comfort in the fact that millions and millions of people have been there (including myself though not in the same way).

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Very first thing, tell hubby. The two of you must decide the way forward together. Do research so you know in great detail what your options are.

 

Only you two can decide what course of action to take. Either choice will be very difficult and I will be giving you all the positive energy I can from my location.

 

Remember that things are always darkest before the dawn and please feel free to use us as your support system.

 

We're all behind you Catherine.

 

-Belkin

 

PS - any of you have suggestions on where Catherine can look for advice? This is not my area of expertise.

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Catherine,

As has been mentioned, the key thing here is that you haven't done anything wrong or immoral, if you will. You and hubby swing together, so it's not like you had an affair behind his back. You both knew the possible risks of swinging with others, so as everyone else has said, you've got to tell him.

 

It's entirely possible his vasectomy was botched also. If you need to know, you can probably get some kind of DNA test that isn't harmful to the fetus. Then I think it's up to you and hubby to decide what you want to do as regards having the baby or not. That's an issue where your personal beliefs have to come into play.

 

As the post before me said, everyone's with you. I hope your husband is as understanding, he should be.

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One of my husbands friends had a vascectomy and his wife still got pregnant...and it was absolutely without a doubt his baby. It can happen, cause they are not 100% effective....and neither are condoms, or any other sort of birth control. You do need to talk to your husband.

 

On a more personal note, in response to the person who said "don't have it"....I know everyone has thier own thoughts on this. So, I will add my 2 cents cause, I guess I just feel I have to. I got pregnant when I was in college, 19 yrs. old, and it was done to me (no explanation needed there)......and with the ncouragement of everyone close to me, I did terminate the pregnancy.

 

That was over 10 years ago, and I still ache every day with that decision. I look at children who would have been the age of mine, and it makes me so sad. I do forgive myself, and I know I can't take it back. And frankly, it didn't really bother me as much until I did marry and had children of my own....and the love I felt for them, and the people that they were and are....well I took the possibility of life away from someone else.

 

That's just my story, and I don't expect people to agree that I should hurt over this, or that I should share it with you in your situation. However, thankfully you have a spouse, and thankfully you love him....you do need tot alk to him and work this out as a couple. Your decision to swing was a couples choice, anything from here should also be.

 

Take Care....things will work out (big hug)

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Slow down and breathe....Here's what you absolutely need to do right now...get a calendar...depending on how long your cycles are....you can adjust this,but for now...we'll go with a 28 day cycle.No matter how long your cycles are though...you ovulate 14 days before your next period is due.So, if you have a 28 day cycle...start from the day you started your last period and count 14 days...that would've been the day you ovulated....now count 3-4 days prior and 1-2 days after that date....who did you sleep with during that period of time???? This is the only time you could've conceived.Now, even if your hunny has had a vasectomy...that is NO gaurantee you can't get pregnant...it does happen.... If you have a 30 day cycle for instance...count 30 days until your next period was due and backtrack 14 days to get the day you would've ovulated and adjust accordingly.Don't jump to anymore conclusions.You can also go get a sonogram done and the doctor would be able to pinpoint when conception actually took place and you can safely assume that whoever you slept with 3-4 days prior could possibly be the father.After ovulation, our eggs are only viable for 24-48 hours and then they die if not fertilized.And, anywhere from 3-4 days prior to ovulation...sperm can live inside of our bodies and be waiting right there when the egg pops through...Good Luck,I hope this helps and take care!!

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You must talk to him about it. You have been open enough to talk about your sexuality this is something you need to talk about and discuss and come to some conclusion together.

 

Also, go to a real doctor and have the test done. Make sure.

 

But my advice is to talk to him and discuss the matter and face this together.

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A vas?

 

Well tell him and then have him go to the doc for a sperm count test.

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Discuss it with your husband, then your doctor.

Maybe it's time for a D&C and get your tubes tied while the car is in the shop.

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I'm telling you before you even consider an abortion or anything...check your cycle. And, even if your hunny has had a vas. there's NO GUARANTEES it worked...God Bless!

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Hey Catherine...

 

I hope everything's going Okay for you as it's been a few days since you've logged onto the board.

 

Do let us know how everything's working out.

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It really is up to you and your husband. You need to tell your husband first and foremost and then the two of you can take it from there deciding what is best for the two of you.

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We had my husband checked and he is NOT fertil......No sperm what so ever..The person I was having sex with was using a condom but I guess it didn't work.....I decided to keep the baby......

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I'm here a little late, but my God...are you okay? And, good for you on deciding to keep the baby.I think given the circumstances, it's probably a wise decision to stop swinging.I sincerely, truly wish you the best.Take Care!

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I second Aphrodite in wishing you the very best. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

Let me say that I have thought about this thread a lot and it has had a very big impact on Nikki and me. I shoot blanks so we had relied on condoms for her in this lifestyle...up until this thread started. Since then, we have been under a temporary oral-only rule until Nikki started birth control pills - which she has now done.

 

We are now back to our normally scheduled fun.

 

Is everyone aware of the new Seasonale birth control pills, where you only have a period every third month??? Nikki is ecstatic!

 

Jim.

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Thanks for updating. For some reason everytime I'm on I check to see if you've written. I really do feel for you. Since I don't know you I wouldn't even try to give you advice. But I will tell you that I do sincerely hope that everything works out. Good luck to you and your husband. I hope the two of you stay strong.

 

Sincerely, Mike

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When I was 3, my father divorced my mother and died when I was 12. At 12, she met my DAD! He was a real man and I can tell your husband is too. I think it is GREAT you are keeping the baby and trust me, you husband will be Dad! I can not say enough good about your husband at this point being the son of a man who had never had children of his own.

 

As for the lifestyle, when you have your child and if you are not looking for more children, get fixed and then you two could continue to enjoy the lifestyle and the fun you have together.

 

One more note, when I got snipped, I was told that there was a 3% chance even if “sterile” that I could still make my wife PG. There is always that small chance one still gets through even if it does not show on the microscope during a test. If it was me though, I would never get a DNA test and would just assume the child to be mine. DNA makes no difference with someone you love. I would just tell my friends and family that we hade a 3% baby and ask for diapers at the shower. (Did I mention I have 5?)

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Gee whiz! That's too bad. I thank God that my wife is in menopause and I had vasc? Shoot, I think it was in October of 1975. Sorry, but if you are true to your word, its probably your hubby.

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I don't post here often, but I recently became pg after having sex with my husband for 11 months-post vacecotmy. We are curious about the livestyle, but have not played so we know it was his. It was quite a shock. Please have you husband go back to his dr and be tested. Things happen--it did in our case.

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I second Aphrodite in wishing you the very best. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

Let me say that I have thought about this thread a lot and it has had a very big impact on Nikki and me. I shoot blanks so we had relied on condoms for her in this lifestyle...up until this thread started. Since then, we have been under a temporary oral-only rule until Nikki started birth control pills - which she has now done.

 

We are now back to our normally scheduled fun.

 

Is everyone aware of the new Seasonale birth control pills, where you only have a period every third month??? Nikki is ecstatic!

 

Jim.

 

Yes, I'm on the ortho evra patch and my obgyn has me doing the same "every third month" pattern due to my severe endometriosis. I hope they won't find out several years from now that this is bad for the body. I sure do love the convenience...

 

Catherine,

I'm so sorry for you that this happened. As others have said, there is the remote chance that it is your husband's baby. I think it is wonderful that you have decided to have the baby, I have no idea what I'd do under the same circumstances. Best of luck to you, your husband and your baby...

 

Mrs. JP

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I just read your earlier post about your husband being tested and was negative. I don't know how I missed that. Sorry that my previous post must not have made sense. Sorry this happened but I am very happy for your choice.

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Catherine,

 

Yahoo for your decision to keep the baby. Both my kids are in their early 20s now and are the joy of my life. I wish you the same love and joy with this one.

 

Dave

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Catherine,

 

My husband had a girlfriend who was a prostitute way before he met me, she was a working girl who claimed she didn't want to have babies, go figure in the type of business she is in. She wasn't even married to my husband and because he loved her he would worship the ground she walked on. He is like that with me. She was with him for two years prior to his 20th birthday. Right after his birthday she asked him to play a game with her when they were at her clinic.

 

It was a gambling game, she wanted to see if the woman down the hall could get him in her office and run a sperm count on him, then to perform a vasectomy on him. She wanted to see if this woman was faster then her Doctor on turning patients out. He went down the hall and entered her office. He said I'm here because my girlfriend is down the hall getting checked out. I want to know if you have time to do a sperm count on me and to do a Vasectomy right after that. She said why yes I can and it will all be done in under one hour. She had him sign all the insurance and consent forms.

 

She did a Vasectomy on him that most Doctors don't do. She removed a huge section of both of his Vas Deferens and cauterized the proximal and distal ends of the Vas Deferens remaining. She was done and said she removed 4" inches from the right and the same from the left Vas Deferens.

 

He has no Vas Deferens what so ever in his scrotum. She tried to make it totally irreversible, hoping she removed so much that they couldn't do anything about it. She tried hard to throw up a block to another Doctor who might try to reverse it. She told him after performing the vasectomy, your sperm count was huge and you could have got a lot of girls pregnant. Looks like I took care of that the right way sweetie. I was mad, the Doctor never even asked him if he had any babies. it never came up once. He never did have one.

 

When he left her office, he found her waiting for him, she was finished before the Doctor even started the Vasectomy.

 

She got pregnant and claimed the baby girl is his, she even yelled it at him in Court when he was fighting for some of his property. The baby is yours.

 

Get a DNA test, that is what he should have done. He said no.

He said can you imagine the damage all the stupid adults will do to her dragging her back and forth. He said she said she is mine, then she is mine.

Even though she was born 2 years after that huge Vasectomy. He was shooting blanks one week after that operation. She had him give her 3 semen samples prior to giving that operation to him to clean the sperm out of his ejaculatory system. So he would be shooting blanks faster afterwards.

 

I want to have a baby and we are looking into swinging big time, I actually want approxmately 4 babies. All through swinging.

 

My man is very wonderful in that way, he said shoot for it. After all look at his history with the prostitute. He doesn't get jealous which really turns me on. He loves me enough that it won't bother him to see me pregnant by another man or couple.

 

Good luck Catherine with what ever you do.

Talk to him, you did enter this with openess. He did agree, right?

 

Sincerely

 

Pam

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I want to have a baby and we are looking into swinging big time, I actually want approxmately 4 babies. All through swinging.

 

Gulp!! I hope you make your partners aware of your desire to get pregnant by them before playtime! Legally, they would be financially responsible for those children if you chose to pursue that at a future date.

 

And I'm unclear...a clinic did a vasectomy on your (now) husband before he was 21?

 

Jim.

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Catherine,

 

My husband had a girlfriend who was a prostitute way before he met me, she was a working girl who claimed she didn't want to have babies, go figure in the type of business she is in. She wasn't even married to my husband and because he loved her he would worship the ground she walked on. He is like that with me. She was with him for two years prior to his 20th birthday. Right after his birthday she asked him to play a game with her when they were at her clinic.

 

It was a gambling game, she wanted to see if the woman down the hall could get him in her office and run a sperm count on him, then to perform a vasectomy on him. She wanted to see if this woman was faster then her Doctor on turning patients out. He went down the hall and entered her office. He said I'm here because my girlfriend is down the hall getting checked out. I want to know if you have time to do a sperm count on me and to do a Vasectomy right after that. She said why yes I can and it will all be done in under one hour. She had him sign all the insurance and consent forms.

 

She did a Vasectomy on him that most Doctors don't do. She removed a huge section of both of his Vas Deferens and cauterized the proximal and distal ends of the Vas Deferens remaining. She was done and said she removed 4" inches from the right and the same from the left Vas Deferens.

 

He has no Vas Deferens what so ever in his scrotum. She tried to make it totally irreversible, hoping she removed so much that they couldn't do anything about it. She tried hard to throw up a block to another Doctor who might try to reverse it. She told him after performing the vasectomy, your sperm count was huge and you could have got a lot of girls pregnant. Looks like I took care of that the right way sweetie. I was mad, the Doctor never even asked him if he had any babies. it never came up once. He never did have one.

 

When he left her office, he found her waiting for him, she was finished before the Doctor even started the Vasectomy.

 

She got pregnant and claimed the baby girl is his, she even yelled it at him in Court when he was fighting for some of his property. The baby is yours.

 

Get a DNA test, that is what he should have done. He said no.

He said can you imagine the damage all the stupid adults will do to her dragging her back and forth. He said she said she is mine, then she is mine.

Even though she was born 2 years after that huge Vasectomy. He was shooting blanks one week after that operation. She had him give her 3 semen samples prior to giving that operation to him to clean the sperm out of his ejaculatory system. So he would be shooting blanks faster afterwards.

 

I want to have a baby and we are looking into swinging big time, I actually want approxmately 4 babies. All through swinging.

 

My man is very wonderful in that way, he said shoot for it. After all look at his history with the prostitute. He doesn't get jealous which really turns me on. He loves me enough that it won't bother him to see me pregnant by another man or couple.

 

Good luck Catherine with what ever you do.

Talk to him, you did enter this with openess. He did agree, right?

 

Sincerely

 

Pam

 

I'm sorry, but this entire post smells like TROLL. :nono:

 

I really, truly hope it is.

 

I can't believe somewhere (no matter how long ago) there is a clinic that is giving young, unmarried men vasectomies, without an appointment, in less than an hour...and purposely making sure they're irreversible.

 

Puh-leeze.

 

And if this isn't a Troll....

Gulp!! I hope you make your partners aware of your desire to get pregnant by them before playtime! Legally, they would be financially responsible for those children if you chose to pursue that at a future date.

I agree wholeheartedly with Jim.

 

Make sure all parties involved know what they're getting into.

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I urge PamVas to rethink her deception...why not go to a sperm bank first?At the very least, you need to inform any potential partners of your intent.And, another thing...if you really are into swinging as much as it sounds...4 children are going to put some restraint on that if you intend to be an involved parent. I have 4 children and they come first...try to remember that when the time comes.{Hopefully,swinging will definitely go to the back burner when you have children,especially when they're small.!!} :)That's not to say you can't do it, but you will need a seriously reliable babysitter,be prepared!! :lol:

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I'm sorry, but this entire post smells like TROLL.

 

That was my first reaction too, Vespertine. And actually I still lean towards that theory at this point.

 

But I was absolutely certain about 3 months ago that someone in here was jerking my chain and someone privately convinced me to give them the benefit of the doubt (you know who you are). It later turned out to be the truth!

 

Therefore, at the risk of looking gullible, I now presume innocence until I have proof otherwise. Very strange things happen in this world....

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Therefore, at the risk of looking gullible, I now presume innocence until I have proof otherwise. Very strange things happen in this world....

You're absolutely right. Strange things do happen in this world.

 

But.....

 

Three hot button topics in one post? Devious prostitutes, plans to get impregnated (multiple times) by future swing partners and unethical, drive-thru vasectomies?

 

C'mon. :lol:

 

You make a good point, however. Everyone should be given the benefit of doubt. The only alternative I can think of is that her husband isn't quite telling her the truth about his vasectomy. Usually people lie for a reason. Why would one have to come up with an elaborate vasectomy tale? 4 inches cut from his vas deferens? The normal amount removed during a routine vasectomy is between 1 and 3 cm. Sometimes doctors MAY take as much as half an inch. But four?

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I was involved with a swinging older married couple. They had 3 kids all teenagers. They had a hottub party at their house one night and told all 3 kids to stay in their rooms or else...anyway, they were teenagers, and of course one of them didn't. He was 14 at the time, and ended up having his first time that night with one of the women there. She was like 20 I think, but it turnd out that about a month later, the woman finds out shes pregnant (about a month along).....I lost touch with them all before they could have a paternity test done...but it was just a HUGE screwed up mess. My point here I guess is, adding kids to the mix can mess up the swinging in my opinion.

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I was involved with a swinging older married couple. They had 3 kids all teenagers. They had a hottub party at their house one night and told all 3 kids to stay in their rooms or else...anyway, they were teenagers, and of course one of them didn't. He was 14 at the time, and ended up having his first time that night with one of the women there.

eek2.gif

Surely you jest?

 

Is this a test to see if I can control my impulses?

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Catherine1962,

 

1st of all, I hope everything goes well for you. I am very happy your hub has said you can keep it (Like you wouldn't have a say in that.)

 

DNA test for sure, just to ease your mind as to the parentage. Did you check out whom you were playing with when you conceived?

 

As far as having a vasectomy goes...I made damn sure the Doc showed me the smarmy worms he'd just snipped as soon as he did them; had him place them in a jar and showed them to Fem D when I got home. I looked into the wound to see the severance. I saw him tie the knots. And the most important thing (after I asked him if I could photograph the procedure-and he politely turned me down) was to tell my wife what I witnessed. I can't believe someone would say they'd had a V-job and then purposefully "impregnate" his wife then deny it could have been him. What would be the purpose of such a lie?

 

BTW, this is just another reason to not use condoms. Not only is the risk of getting a disease (From Swingers) is extremely minimal, when you wear a hat you think everything is cool. "Ooops Honey, Sorry. My hat got "wet" and I guess my vas wasn't so bullet proof after all!" Maybe the guys should just always pull out.

 

Did I miss something...Why have you decided to not use birth control Catherine1962?

 

Male D

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:lol: @ Vespertine

 

Okay, I'm about to declare this the wildest thread yet.

 

The 14yo/20yo story sounds fairly close to the 20 Questions interview with Dustin Hoffman in this month's Playboy....though not exact. He said when he was 15, he lost his virginity at his parent's house to a 20yo named Barbara who, in the darkness, thought he was his brother. You'll have to buy the magazine to get the details. :)

 

Jim.

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Nope, THIS and a few other things going on was the reason I left the swinging scene for a while. I blamed and STILL do for the most part, the kids parents...or rather the mother. She was the one who told all three of the kids that they could stay that night and forbid them to come out of the room. I mean yes, the kid looked 14. The 20 year old was responsible as well. But JEEZ...There was so much that was just WRONG with that whole scene. Thats why I'm leary of having kids and the swinging scene at all. I think its ok to be a swinger and have a family...I just don't think its a good idea to entertain with the kids in the house.

Just my opinion.

That and $1.75 will buy you a great cup of coffee.

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From connikutie:

 

"That and $1.75 will buy you a great cup of coffee."

 

Not in Caleefornia! ::P:

 

Male D

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I blamed and STILL do for the most part, the kids parents...or rather the mother. She was the one who told all three of the kids that they could stay that night and forbid them to come out of the room. I mean yes, the kid looked 14. The 20 year old was responsible as well.

Anyone at the party who was aware that a CHILD was involved in swinging activities should be held responsible.

 

That is child abuse, in my opinion.

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Anyone at the party who was aware that a CHILD was involved in swinging activities should be held responsible.

 

That is child abuse, in my opinion.

 

 

dito!

 

That is an outrageous tale. I remember being 20 when my brother was 14... and he looked every bit of 14! There is no way one could mistake a 14 year old for anything more than what they are.

 

The 20 year old woman should be thrown in with Scott Peterson for that matter. And the parents.. well how shameful.

 

It is stories like that that give swingers a bad name.

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Well, since we're going with the wildest stories on here, got one for you that Dave has been involved with for the last 9 months (just because he was this soldier's supervisor)

 

Dave has a soldier who is undergoing a court-martial for charges of adultery, child abuse, and statutory rape.

 

Apparently this soldier had allowed his cousin to move in with him and his wife (Not uncommon). Well, in March of this year, CID calls this soldier out of the field because his cousin came in complaining about being raped by the soldier. She also makes allegations about the younger children. The soldier responds that he just joined in with his wife and the cousin in bed. Now there is another soldier in another section who chimes in about this soldier messing with his girlfriend, and she's pregnant. (Both the girlfriend and the cousin are underage)

 

Swinging gone bad? Something is messed up here. The whole case is a whole lot nastier, but he's been called 2 times so far to testify, and might even get called to testify from Iraq.

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